18 Questions We Have About ‘Santa Baby 2: Christmas Maybe’

Earlier this week I watched the movie Santa Baby 2: Christmas Maybe on Hulu. It’s spectacularly insane. The sequel to 2006’s Santa Baby, the film follows NYC business woman Mary Class (Jenny McCarthy) as she attempts to juggle her bustling big city career with her family and sanity. Relatable, right? One small addendum: Mary’s dad is Santa Claus.

Ho ho whoa.

As Decider’s resident holiday movie title expert, I felt compelled to watch the ludicrously named Santa Baby 2: Christmas Maybe, and I gotta say, it was quite a ride. It’s kinda like three different movie productions showed up to one studio and then some intern with a goatee and can-do attitude confidently bellowed, “Let’s just combine ’em all!” The movie is ostensibly about Mary’s father — Santa Claus, ever heard of him? — suffering through a mid-life crisis, which forces Mary and her boyfriend Luke (Dean McDermott) to return to their hometown of Polaris (The North Pole) to save Christmas. Sounds simple enough, but the film is a tonal rollercoaster.

McCarthy’s Mary is the nominal protagonist, but her character is the perfect archetype of the traditional Christmas movie antagonist (a big city business woman who prioritizes work over the holiday spirit). Luke is Mary’s (north) polar opposite. He’s a New York City mailman who misses the cozy comforts of his small town. Throughout the movie, Mary and Luke meet new potential love interests — a charming New York business man named Colin and Teri, small town girl who loves Christmas (Kelly Stables), respectively — but eventually ignore them to stay in a miserable relationship that will ultimately bring them nothing but pain and heartache.

Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Incredibly, a film about Jenny McCarthy saving Christmas is even crazier than you’d think. I had questions, so many questions, while watching Santa Baby 2: Christmas Maybe. Here are a few of them, 18 to be exact.

Why?

I honestly don’t know.

Wait, Does The Title Santa Baby 2: Christmas Maybe Make Sense?

LOL. Nope!

How Do You Play It Cool When Trying To Hide The Fact That You’re Santa’s Daughter?

Not like that, J-Mac. Not. Like. That.

How Does Santa Baby 2: Christmas Maybe Let The Audience Know That Jenny McCarthy’s Mary Class Is Truly Good At Her Vague NYC Job?

Easy! By having various characters say the term “merger” approximately 1,000 times throughout the movie.

Sorry. Didn’t mean to single out Jenny McCarthy.

Who Plays Jenny McCarthy’s Love Interest In The Movie?

Dean McDermott.

Wow. The Guy From The Practice?

No. That’s Dylan McDermott.

Oh. The Dude From My Best Friends Wedding?

No. That’s Dermot Mulroney.

Got It. I Loved His Netflix Special. Moving On, What’s Luke’s Deal?

The Rudolph to Jenny McCarthy’s Santa, Dean McDermott plays simple NYC mailman Luke Jessup. Luke enjoys three things in life:

Also, you’re thinking of John Mulaney. Not Dermot Mulroney.

Josh, You’ve Been Writing For 15 Years. Have You Ever Written Anything Funnier Than The Above Dogsledding Line?

Nope. And I never will.

Do Mary And Luke End Up Together?

Sadly yes, but less out of love and more out of apathy. At one point, Teri even attempts to seduce Luke, succeeds because Luke honestly doesn’t seem to care about anything other than dogsledding, but then immediately is like, “Just kidding. I’m actually the villain in this movie!”

There’s actually a sweet love story between Luke and Teri hidden somewhere in this movie. But instead…

What Exactly Does Santa Having A Mid-Life Crisis Look Like?

It’s basically as if the most obnoxious guy in your hacky sack circle decided to adapt George Thorogood’s “Bad to the Bone” into Santa Claus.

Is Paul Sorvino’s Santa The Most Relatable Santa Of All Time?

Absolutely. All the poor guy wants to do is retire. Despite the fact that he’s had the same job for hundreds of years, every single person acts like this is an unreasonable request. This Santa is the Santa that’s over it, which we can all relate to. “I only work here”?! I love it.

He’s the detached Barnes & Noble employee who could not mentally or physically care less that somebody wrote the word “boobies” in your copy of The Secret of Santa Clauses.

Is Santa Baby 2: Call Me, Maybe? Or Whatever It’s Called Anti-Elf?

How does Santa Claus, a universally beloved beacon of hope and goodwill, describe his elves when they threaten to go on strike?

“They’re elves. All you have to do is give them a couple of cookies, point them towards something shiny, and they’ll forget all about it.”

This whole ridiculous movie might just be an allegory for unionization. Mary can’t believe the elves would have the audacity to go on strike over a little thing like, let me check my notes, not getting paid for hundreds of years of grueling manual labor.

What’s The Deal With Teri?

Oh boy. Portrayed with admirable aplomb by Superstore standout Kelly Stables, Teri is a secret elf who is trying to pull a literal grinch and steal Christmas. Ostensibly, this makes her the villain but is she? The one true theme of Santa Baby 2 is that being Santa Claus suuuuuuuuuucks. It caused the original Santa to have a meltdown, and his daughter isn’t super jazzed about being the heir apparent.

“Playing Santa Claus at the North Pole may have been the opportunity of your lifetime, but I don’t want your life!”

ANYWAY, yes, Teri utilizes some dubious methods to try and swipe Christmas, but who cares! Nobody actually wants to be Santa, so let her have it! She left a job delivering malaria vaccines to a school for blind orphans (which coincidentally makes her the perfect natural foil for McCarthy) to work at the Polaris Postal Service.

This whole crazy movie could have been avoided if one of the elves was like, “Hey, gang. A thought: Maybe we give the job everybody hates to the one person who wants it?”

Is “Crazy Time In Santa Town” A Better Title Than Santa Baby 2: Christmas Maybe?

Yes. 1000% yes.

Does Mary Choose New York City Or The North Pole?

Both? I think? The “movie” ends with Santa and Mary delivering the presents and saving Christmas. Later, back in New York with zero explanation, it’s revealed that Mary now rides to work in her flying reindeer sleigh. I get it, the NYC subway is terrible, but wouldn’t her bosses at Vague Job Incorporated be angry that she moonlights as a (not thee) Santa Claus?

I can’t imagine my editors would be super pumped if I were like, “Oh, hey. Heads up. When I’m not writing about Amazon’s Bosch, I’m also a Tooth Fairy because the real Tooth Fairy is in the midst of an existential breakdown.”

The whole movie can be described as…

Exactly.

Is Santa Baby 2: Christmas Maybe Terrible Or Brilliant?

97% of me strongly believes that this movie is dreadful, but Santa Baby 2: Christmas Maybe is so mind-bogglingly odd that a tiny part of me can’t help but think that it might be literal art.

And Finally, What’s The Name Of The Production Company Responsible For This Film?

Sure. Why the hell not? Santa Baby 2: Christmas Maybe is now streaming on Hulu.

Where to stream Santa Baby 2: Christmas Maybe