John Malkovich Will Be the Weirdest Poirot Ever in ‘The ABC Murders’

When I read that John Malkovich was going to play Hercule Poirot in Amazon Prime’s adaptation of Agatha Christie’s classic The ABC Murders, I thought that was a curious choice. Malkovich is known for his oddball, off-putting characters. Poirot may be a bit quirky and aloof, perhaps even a bit obnoxious, but he’s not odd. But then I saw the trailer for the miniseries, debuting on February 1, and saw the weirdest depiction of the Belgian detective in film history.

First of all, Malkovich does not don Poirot’s signature black handlebar mustache, opting instead for a grey goatee. He’s the first American actor to portray the detective in over half a century since Tony Randall payed Poirot in — wait for it — The Alphabet Murders in 1965. Instead of putting on a Belgian accent, he uses some weird British-infused lilt that’s hard to place. And lines like “I know the code. The code is me?” Gah. It’s almost as creepy as when he read “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas” on SNL ten years ago.

You have to realize that, in Christie’s novels, Poirot is a fussy, short, bald man who has a high amount of confidence in his abilities, to the point of arrogance. The most famous portrayal of the detective, by David Suchet for 13 seasons on the ITV/PBS series Poirot, is more in line with what the books describe. Many of the other actors who played Poirot, all the way up to Kenneth Branagh’s portrayal in 2017’s Murder On The Orient Express, played Poirot fairly close to the way Christie intended.

But Malkovich wouldn’t be Malkovich without putting his spin on things. I’m not sure what to think of “weird Poirot,” but I’m definitely intrigued enough to watch it when the show drops.