‘One Day at a Time’ Nails Living with Anxiety in Must-Watch Episode

In case you haven’t heard, One Day at a Time is the best show on Netflix. Ever. It earned that accolade (from me, full disclosure) because of how it breaks down the complex issues its dramatic peers tackle in a way that is both funny and TV-PG. It’s no surprise that an hourlong TV-MA drama can address issues like racism and sexual assault. It is surprising that a multi-cam family sitcom does so, and does so while still being funny.

That’s part of the show’s appeal. It touches on everything, which makes it relatable to potentially every single person in America (and beyond!). If you have a struggle, be it financial or political or familial or societal, there is a One Day at a Time episode that will make you feel seen. I guarantee it. I’m a white, gay, cis, millennial male living in New York City and I’ve found that episode in every single season, usually via out-and-proud teen daughter Elena (how I wish I was as strong as she was when I was her age). Season 3, however, gave me a wholly unexpected kind of representation.

Let’s talk about “Anxiety,” episode 9 of the (do I need to reiterate?) absolutely spectacular Season 3. ODaaT has never shied away from mental health issues. Penelope’s PTSD and subsequent treatment via a support group and medication have been a part of the show since Season 1, and Justina Machado–who deserves the Pulitzer Prize for sitcom acting, if such a thing existed–has performed every bit of it with equal parts strength and vulnerability. Season 3 continues with an episode that nails exactly what it feels like to live with anxiety and depression.

The episode is structured around one of Penelope’s group therapy sessions, with her talking about recent anxiety episodes at work (she worries that she misdiagnosed a patient and dreams up a scene where an appendix explodes), at home (she spirals into thinking her son Alex has tossed away potential for pot), and in her love life (what if the guy she’s just casually dating wants to move in, get married, and never leave?!). During each anxiety attack, the color falls away, leaving Penelope in black and white while the absolute worst case scenario unfolds in front of her.

Every episode of One Day at a Time gets an emotional response from me, not gonna lie. But this one felt special, way more personal than I anticipated. That’s because this is the most accurate depiction I’ve seen of what it feels like to live with anxiety–and I’m going to talk about it because, as this episode beautifully points out, this is an issue that needs to be discussed to rid it of stigma and to help others.

Forty seconds in when everything went all black and white and Penelope’s boss started haranguing her, I recognized Penelope’s struggle as my own. This is what anxiety does. It strips away all nuance, all color, and leaves your brain floundering in a stark “reality.” There’s no room for the “it’ll be fine” or “worse things have happened” or “don’t worry about it” shades of gray. There is only crippling panic, the total belief that every thing you’ve done is wrong–and everyone’s going to pounce on that. You’re going to lose your job, your family, your partner, even if there is zero real-world evidence that supports any of the claims your brain is frantically making. I know that brain-space.

Like Penelope, I’ve turned to therapy. In the year since ODaaT Season 2 dropped, I’ve been prescribed medication to deal with this. I know what Penelope’s going through, except my attacks unfolded over the course of, I dunno, hours and I didn’t outwardly sweat so much as just feel like all of my nerves sizzling like a plate of Chili’s fajitas.

But One Day at a Time doesn’t stop at showing you what anxiety looks like. It also gives viewers the tools to combat these feelings, like visualizing a big ol’ STOP sign in your head or having someone distract you with pictures of dogs in wigs. And the show gets into the truth that anxiety is sometimes hereditary. Penelope’s mom Lydia definitely has anxiety, evidenced by her waking her daughter up at 4 a.m. because she’s convinced the family has the Zika virus. At the end of the episode, Penelope realizes that her daughter Elena might have anxiety after she has her own episode. That’s when Penelope comes clean to her kids: she deals with anxiety and depression.

“It has nothing to do with unhappiness,” she says when her son, Alex, asks if she’s not happy. “It’s a chemical imbalance, and it runs in our family. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of, even though I’m ashamed of it.”

But, as Penelope says, that shame ends with her. She’s going to be there for Elena, and also honest with Elena. If Elena needs help, they’ll get it for her. This, by the way, also rings true. Even though anxiety and depression run in my family, even though I’ve known members of my family have been on anti-depressants and sought therapy, I still felt a stigma about admitting I needed help. Like Penelope, I knew there was nothing to be ashamed of… and I was also ashamed of it.

I’m not anymore, evidenced by me writing 900 words about it. Thank you, One Day at a Time, for devoting a whole episode to anxiety and for giving me a reason to write about it. And thank you for releasing a half our of television that will let everyone, diagnosed or undiagnosed, know that they aren’t alone.

Stream One Day at a Time "Anxiety" on Netflix