I Need The ‘RHONY’ Women To STFU About Room Assignments

By Lea Palmieri @littleleap
Published April 18, 2019, 11:30 a.m. ET

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It actually gives me full anxiety now when the women of The Real Housewives of New York fight over rooms. It does. My neck gets tight, my stomach gets queasy, and I just hope for it to be over soon. But something tells me that we’re STILL not done talking about the fucking Fish Room this season.

This particular group is always bitching about room assignments. Always! The worst has to be that Mexico trip two seasons ago where it was absolutely relentless how these women complained about where they would pass out when they were drunk. And in case you forgot (as I’m sure they did), they got DRUNK. It’s a miracle they ever ended up in a bed at all. It wasn’t just drama for the show and it certainly wasn’t fun. It was stupid junior high camp bullshit that was not nearly as important or interesting as they may have believed it was.

And so it was no surprise that my TV PTSD was triggered three weeks ago when the room assignment discussions started brewing. What was a surprise was that Ramona wasn’t even remotely involved in the whole process really. But everyone who was handled it incredibly stupidly. I will say, I agree with Luann that Bethenny basically pulled an ultimatum on Dorinda, declaring that she must have her own room or she was going to stay at a hotel? That’s annoying…but that’s also Bethenny. Sigh.

But for Luann to then do the same and pretend she was going to stay at a hotel in protest of being assigned the fish room — come on! I have nothing but respect for the progress and work Luann has done on herself over the past year. It’s a wonderful accomplishment to be sober and selling out her cabaret show and seeming to have a healthy positive attitude. But it’s that exact attitude she should’ve carried into the room and said, Hey, Fish Room — look at me now! Use it as an opportunity to reflect on the last year and all the growth that has come with the hard work she’s put into her new lifestyle. Or, on a very basic level, just put on an eye mask and go to sleep. That’s it! After the naked chef extravaganza, who wouldn’t be exhausted?

Oh my god, and that Barbara thought she could waltz into Blue Stone Manor and say anything, anything at all besides, “What a beautiful home, Dorinda, thank you for having me,” is actually absurd. I don’t like sharks, and I don’t even really like fish for that matter, but not a damn one of those was jumping off the wall at any point in their stay. And if they did, well, that would’ve been a lot more fun to watch than all this bickering back and forth.

I love a good night’s sleep. I NEED it, really. So I get being particular about where that’s happening. But come on, this is Dorinda’s immaculate home. It’s stubborn and rude and disrespectful to be pitching a fit over something so inconsequential. Of course this is all tied back to Luann or Barbara also feeling perhaps less important in the eyes of their friends, but it’s what happens outside of those guest rooms that really matters. Unless these women are drunkenly rolling all over each other in the same bed, which does not get old btw, it’s next to impossible to care what is actually happening in these rooms overnight. It’s rarely anything good. Because with this particular bunch of women, they show us all the good stuff in the daytime: the makeup-free faces, their PJs, and yes, that drunken rolling around too.

We all have our things. Some people don’t want to hear about #Puppygate over in Beverly Hills anymore, though I haven’t checked all the way out on that quite yet. But when it comes to fighting over room assignments, I just cannot do it anymore. No other city of Housewives makes such a big deal out of it, and yet these women are too interesting and too outspoken to be this consumed by such a ridiculous non-problem. Just shut up and go to bed.

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