LuAnn De Lesseps Is A Recovering Alcoholic, So Why Won’t The Other ‘Real Housewives Of New York’ Stop Boozing Around Her?

The Real Housewives of New York City and alcohol go together like, um, Kathie Lee and alcohol: when combined, you’re in for some real deliciousness. Drinking has been behind some of the series’ greatest—and, yes, messiest—moments, fuelling rage-filled arguments, silly antics, and the most memorable one-liners in the franchise (who could forget Dorinda Medley’s repeated exclamation of “CLIP!” with the corresponding hand movement?). However, it’s safe to say that some of the castmates are perhaps a little too reliant on the sauce, and now that LuAnn De Lesseps is in active recovery for alcoholism, you’d think the other ladies would see it has a bit of a wakeup call. You’d be wrong.

The Countess didn’t come to sobriety voluntarily—it took a drunken arrest, criminal charges, and multiple trips to rehab to make her realize that she had a problem (and frankly, she does still seem a bit in denial about the role that booze plays in her life). That being said, it’s clear she’s not the worst offender in the group when it comes to alcohol abuse. Dorinda Medley is often getting into scrapes after overindulging, Ramona Singer lives for wine, and Sonja Morgan has been known to get a bit wild and crazy after knocking back a few too many. The women would likely all claim that they just enjoy an occasional drink on social occasions, but when your entire job description is “socialite,” there’s nothing occasional about it.

What’s really striking this season is that while De Lesseps seems to be trying to commit to staying sober, her fellow castmates don’t seem all that interested in supporting her. They’re all well aware of the events which led to her abstaining from alcohol, yet they see no issues with ordering plenty of wine and spirits while out at social events while De Lesseps sits drinking water, juice, or whatever other non-alcoholic drink is on offer. She says she doesn’t mind that the other women are drinking, but that can’t feel good to know that your friends don’t care enough to stick to a Diet Coke while they’re hanging out with you.

Of course, it’s not anyone else’s responsibility but LuAnn’s to ensure that she remains sober, and her castmates would likely insist that since they’re not the ones who’ve been arrested and forced into rehab for alcohol issues, they shouldn’t have to stop drinking it. That’s fair enough, but it also says something that the mere suggestion that they avoid alcohol during social occasions would likely be met with skepticism or outright refusal that would make one wonder if they’re truly aware of their dependence on the stuff.

The fact that alcohol is, as previously mentioned, at the heart of so many of RHONY‘s most memorable moments and big storylines means that it will always be part of the castmates’ lives to a large degree. After all, imagine a sober cast of women with no social lubricant trying to create an entertaining show? Bravo would have it canceled before you could say “kadooze to all of us.” There’s also the fact that a glass of wine or a cocktail aren’t inherently bad on their own. It’s when it turns into half a dozen drinks multiple times a week that things start to get a bit dicey.

Ultimately, De Lesseps’ journey to sobriety is a personal one, one that largely (and rightfully) takes place off-screen. We only get to see selected moments of the castmates’ lives, so there may be occasions in which the girls all decide to get smoothies together or something instead of bottles of champagne. (Sure, it’s unlikely, but who knows?) It’s not the women’s responsibility to ensure that The Countess stays on the straight and narrow, but it’d be nice if they took it upon themselves to show a bit of unity and help to empower and encourage her by showing her that she’s not missing out on anything by not drinking. The fact that they don’t makes you wonder if they feel like they would be.

De Lesseps has stumbled a few times on her path to recovery from alcoholism and will likely experience her fair share of struggles again in future. Still, she’s trying and that’s admirable. It’s just a shame that her friends and castmates don’t want to pitch in and help hold her up when she needs them most.

Jennifer Still is a writer and editor from New York who cares too way much about fictional characters and spends her time writing about them.

Watch The Real Housewives of New York City on Bravo Now