Stream It Or Skip It: ‘The Last Summer’ on Netflix, a Cutesy Rom-Com Starring K.J. Apa of ‘Riverdale’

From an executive producer of Mother’s Day comes new Netflix original movie The Last Summer. Yes, that statement is intentionally implying things — like how said executive producer, William Bindley, makes sure his new directorial effort touches the same feather-light emotional territory as Garry Marshall’s 2016 holiday-themed comedy. Both are ensemble pieces, but The Last Summer aims at a less graying demographic via its young stars, including K.J. Apa (Riverdale), Maia Mitchell (Good Trouble) and Tyler Posey (Teen Wolf).

THE LAST SUMMER: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: Graduation! A group of teens in a sunny, affluent Chicago suburb find themselves in the title thing, the traditional Period of Difficult Transition between high school and whatever comes next. Soon, longtime besties and kissyface friends will part ways for scary and exciting new lives.

But first, some drama: Griffin (Apa) is pressured by his dink father to go to Columbia University, although he really wants to study music at Berklee. He pairs up with Phoebe (Mitchell), a film student who’s eyeing NYU and making a documentary about like, life and stuff. Alec (Jacob Latimore) and Erin (Halston Sage) put the kibosh on their two-year relationship, reasoning that they’ll have to break up anyway before they go to different colleges many miles apart. He has a fling with dingbat sexpot Paige (Gage Golightly); she connects with rookie Cubs third baseman Ricky Santos (Tyler Posey) after he lands in her lap while nabbing a foul ball.

Erin’s friend Audrey (Sosie Bacon) just can’t get accepted to any of her chosen colleges, and reluctantly takes a job nannying a precocious young girl (Audrey Grace Marshall) being pageant-mom’d within an inch of her life. Mason’s buddy Foster (Wolfgang Novogratz) makes a list of hot girls he wants to schtup before Labor Day. And finally, comic relief comes from Reece (Mario Revolori) and Chad (Jacob McCarthy), two dweebish froyo scoopers who masquerade as day traders, and end up scoring with a pair of attractive twentysomething advertising ladies.

Each character proceeds to have Significant Experiences on their way to The Next Stage of Their Lives, because the movie wouldn’t follow around any 18-year-olds who just pull their retail or food-service shifts then take a few community college classes in the fall, right? That would be sooooo borrrrrringggg.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: American Pie meets Dazed and Confused at a post-lobotomy support group!

Performance Worth Watching: Honestly, the cast seems reasonably talented across the board, but they’re forced to play hockey with hambones thanks to this dull and derivative screenplay. Mitchell stands out the most though, lending credible sincerity to a character who maintains she has no time for love, but falls for a smart, charming guy anyway.

Memorable Dialogue: “Why hurry the worry, McFlurry?” is one of the bits of wisdom tossed around by Mason (Jacob Latimore), a wannabe pro skateboarder who seems like the most eccentric character of the bunch, which makes him too interesting to be in more than about four scenes, and therefore doesn’t quite qualify him to be included in The Gist.

Single Best Shot: Mason and Paige make out on the beach in front of a bonfire, and although there are a few different nicely composed smoochy-face shots in the movie, this one has a whole lotta LENS FLARE!

Sex and Skin: Some cheesecake here, a little beefcake there, and one lukewarm PG-13 sex scene that happens immediately after both participants binge on a whole lotta BBQ. BAD IDEA, KIDS! Bad idea.

Our Take: If The Last Summer were any lighter and flakier, it would be the perfect pie crust. It’s a processed teen rom-com formula powder packet — just add water! Its characters are one-dimensional drips and twits who ding-dong along through the first act, round out slightly in the second and weather dramatic contrivances and watery montages in the third. Many cliches are indulged and formulas invoked. If Riverdale wasn’t a hit, the movie would be screen filler in a middling film festival.

Oh, and Bindley uses so much pointless lens flare, he makes J.J. Abrams look like a toddler playing with a flashlight in a dark room.

Our Call: SKIP IT. The Last Summer uses hot new stars as sticky-sweet sugarbait for young audiences, hoping they haven’t seen all the older, better movies it rips off. The comedy is flaccid, the drama is flimsy and the romance is some bland BBQ.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Read more of his work at johnserbaatlarge.com or follow him on Twitter: @johnserba.

Stream The Last Summer on Netflix