Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Maria’ on Netflix, a Pseudo-Stylish Filipino Action Movie in Which a Lady Assassin Wants Revenge

REVENGE. The Netflix Original movie Maria serves it cold, cut up with a curvy-bladed knife. The Filipino film tosses its native brand of martial arts into the recipe, and casts star Cristine Reyes in the lead role. But will it stand out from the many films already crowding the genre?

MARIA: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: Maria (Reyes) is a deadly assassin. The deadliest? Mmmmaybe. In the opening sequence, she slashes, gashes and neck-snaps her way through countless hapless security goons guarding a big, fancy house. Inside, a woman and her daughter huddle, terrified. She finally reaches them. She points her gun. BANG. Dude, harsh.

Seven years later: Maria has given up her curvy knife, leather pants and extreme eyeshadow and settled into domesticity with Bert (Guji Lorenzana) and their daughter. That aforementioned BANG? She didn’t shoot the woman or the kid, and knew that meant trouble. So she faked her death to get out of the life, and to escape the nasty cartel employing her. Now, her idyll is ripe for upset. What with one thing and another (and a question as to why she didn’t up and move someplace far away), the cartel nasties spot her, and she’s back in the crosshairs. What happens to her family? Well, what happened to John Wick’s dog?

Needless to say, this turn of events goes over like a spider in your sandwich. Maria consults Greg (Ronnie Lazaro), her father figure and former mentor, and he reluctantly helps. She vows to murder the hell out of everyone. She goes on an all-whiskey diet. She works to undermine the cartel; she walks away in cool slo-mo as a warehouse full of drugs blows up behind her. She faces off against her counterparts, two lady assassins who look like Bratz dolls gone full Mortal Kombat. She has no mercy. She has even less sense. She’s unstoppable. She hasn’t had a decent meal in days. It’s all pretty violent. It also sets up a sequel.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Well, there’s John Wick, and the second John Wick, and the third John Wick. Also, superficially, Gina Carano vehicle Haywire and Charlize Theron vehicle Atomic Blonde. Maybe a tiny little nugget of Death Wish, too.

Performance Worth Watching: Playing Greg, the grizzled old cynic who’s always reading a newspaper (a newspaper!), Lazaro is the only source of levity in this grim, stylish, but mostly grim bloodletting. “I thought the last favor was the last favor!” he sputters at Maria when she asks for his assistance.

Memorable Dialogue: “She was dead once. Make sure she stays that way,” says one of the generic bad guys, probably not aware of how existentially nonsensical his statement is.

Single Best Shot: In the movie’s best bit of choreographed violence, a medium shot holds on a doorway and window as Maria kicks the snot out of a few goons, their blood splattering on the glass.

Sex and Skin: You know the scene in every assassin-revenge movie where the protagonist takes a shower, rinsing the blood of his/her battered and bruised body, but never shows any of his/her bits? This movie also has that scene.

Our Take: Director Pedring Lopez clearly enjoyed those one movies with Keanu Reeves in them. No, not Bill and Ted. Or The Matrix. Those other ones. What were they called again? The ones with the blue-tinted-neon color palette and the antihero who wanted to give up being a champion hunter-slayer, but now has nothing to lose? Those movies.

Anyway, this genre lives and dies by the action, and we’re willing to give a movie’s derivative components a pass if it summons goosebumps with some visceral thrills. Lopez isn’t a shaky-cam operator slashing up film in the editing room with a Ginsu knife. But neither is he a master stylist. His work on Maria is sturdy but unexceptional, and never really works up enough of an emotional froth to cover up the numerous visual and narrative cliches. Is there a fight scene where the assailants pound each other in a tiny nightclub bathroom stall? Does the movie feature an adorable kid and lots of flashbacks and a protagonist with a deep, dark secret? Does John Wick always aim for the head?

Our Call: SKIP IT. Maria isn’t trying to reinvent the revenge thriller. It makes the most of a minimal budget (just ignore the phony-ass CGI blood and fire); it aims medium-low; it hits its mark. But it’s ultimately too derivative to recommend.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Read more of his work at johnserbaatlarge.com or follow him on Twitter: @johnserba.

Stream Maria on Netflix