Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Oh, Ramona’ on Netflix, a Foul, Filthy Teen Sex Romp from Romania

Oh, Ramona! was a box-office hit in its home country of Romania, and now it’s on Netflix, ready to go toe-to-toe with the many raunchy comedies of its ilk. It’s based on the book Suck It, Ramona by comedian Andrei Ciobanu — nice title, bro — and trafficks heavily in the anti-niceties of many American-style teen sex romps before it. But will it be something fresh and funny, or just a stale slice of Romanian Pie?

OH, RAMONA!: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: Ramona (Aggy K. Adams) is the hottest girl in school. “I’m the hottest girl in school,” she says, which says a lot about her sense of self. Our hero and narrator is Andrei (Bogdan Iancu), an awkward geek nursing a crush on the hottest girl in school. He’s egged on by his moderately-to-egregiously abusive “friends” Silviu (Leonardo Boudreau) and Alin (Basil Eidenbenz), who are identified by animated comic-booky subtitles: KABINK! Sivliu is “fake macho”! BLAZOW, Alin is a “repeater”!

In an early scene, everyone’s at a party. Andrei revs up a healthy buzz so he can put a move on Ramona. Did I mention Ramona looks like freshly mimeographed Angelina Jolie, bee-stung lips and all, albeit with a French bob, and that the camera ogles her in a schoolgirl uniform, so obviously male-gazing from its protagonist’s perspective? Somehow, Andrei gets Ramona to follow him into the bathroom, where there’s a massive virulent turd nestled in the toilet. She thinks it’s his, of course. His vehement denials are the tree falling in the forest with nobody around, except there are a lot of people around to hear it, although they pretend not to hear it, because it’s funnier that way. OK, fine, it’s not a perfect analogy.

Yes, it’s still hard out there for a virgin. But before you know it, and against all odds, Andrei is an experienced man, denerdified (new haircut, ditched the glasses) and officially two-timing the hottest girl in school and the hottest girl at the seaside. The latter is Anemona (Holly Horne), a sweetheart college girl who’s somehow charmed by Andrei’s sincerity and light dorkiness. You get the sense that she’s the type of girl you could fart in front of, and she’d just giggle sexily and accept you for who you are.

All this means Andrei finds himself in quite a pickle, so please insert a pickle joke here, because the movie definitely would. The rest of the plot involves how he gets his pickle out of the jar, or back into it, or whatever. I dunno, come up with your own analogy.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: It’s American Pie meets Revenge of the Nerds meets Superbad meets Porky’s, except in Romania, and with all the good jokes removed. So I guess it’s mostly like Tucker Max adaptation I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, except in Romania.

Performance Worth Watching: Playing Andrei’s mom, Andromeda Godfrey exhibits serious professionalism in the way she uses impeccable comic timing and funny facial expressions to wring a meager laugh or two out of some truly crummy material.

Memorable Dialogue: “Holy shit!” says a nigh-demonic, disembodied voice every time someone opens the aforementioned toilet lid and sees the aforementioned virulent turd.

Single Best Shot: Andrei finally scores! And the camera turns upside-down, because, like, the world is totally upside-down now that the devirginizing has finally happened.

Sex and Skin: Sex scenes are quite literally substituted with close-up shots of fingers dipping into honey or pomegranates, or hands groping cupcakes with cherries on top, or a cucumber flash drive being inserted into a pink fuzzy laptop’s USB slot. That’s the joke! Oh,
and there’s also a scene in which Ramona removes her bra and is censored by a flash neon “ADULTS ONLY” sign, which Andrei apologizes for in voiceover: “To the guy in the fourth row, sorry, no boobs for you!”

Our Take: Didn’t Oh, Ramona! get the memo that winking rib-nudging is out, and sincerity is in? It’s 2019, and this type of self-referential yukfest is ready to be euthanized. The gags and characters are thrice ripped off from funnier movies; one-liners are dropped in via voiceover in desperate attempts to goose hopelessly flaccid bits; there’s even a scene in which Andrei looks up at the sky and yells at himself, the narrator.

There’s a fine line between crudity and cruelty, and Oh, Ramona! has no idea where it is. It’s studded with ugly instances of racism, homophobia and sexist body-shaming: A joke about a “big black banana.” A running subplot in which Andrei is the subject of rumors that he’s gay. A sequence in which he unwittingly gets stoned and is sexually assaulted by a female classmate whom he refers to as “a 400-pound sex-crazed hyena.” Dozens of other modern comedies have proven that you can avoid this type of woefully dated politically incorrect crapola, and still be filthy and funny. Bad taste is funny. Tastelessness is not. Guess which one best defines Oh, Ramona!?

Our Call: SKIP IT. Yep. Stale Romanian Pie.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Read more of his work at johnserbaatlarge.com or follow him on Twitter: @johnserba.

Stream Oh Ramona! on Netflix