Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Rock My Heart’ on Netflix, a Horse Movie Like Many a Horse Movie Before It

Netflix’s Rock My Heart is a slice of Americana, via Germany. Neo-country songs with English lyrics punctuate this story of a girl who lives outside Cologne, and significantly risks her health to bond with a wild horse and its scruffy owner, and enter a high-stakes horse race. Sattel nach oben, pardners!

ROCK MY HEART: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: Jana (Lena Klenke) had a dream about a horse — or was it real? She stole a scooter and wiped out, and while she lay on the forest floor, the animal visited her, perhaps to eat her spilled candy, or maybe to save her life. But I’m getting ahead of myself — the horse doesn’t save her life quite yet. Doctors have to do that first, although Jana resists. She has a heart condition, and refuses to take her medication or undergo yet another surgical procedure. She expresses her frustration by acting out. Her parents (Annette Frier and Michael Lott) are, of course, concerned. She’s 17, way too young for a death wish.

But there was that horse. Jana revisits the crash scene, follows a path to a nearby ranch and, hello, noble creature! She approaches, calm and cautious. The horse’s owner, Paul (Dieter Hallervorden), is less concerned about a strange person trespassing on his property, and more amazed that the trespasser has steadied his wild stallion. Faster than you can Google the German translation to U2 song lyrics, Jana is training to be a jockey, hiding her condition from Paul, not telling her parents what she’s up to and still refusing to take the medication that keeps her heart steady, but saps her of her energy.

Meanwhile, scruffy ol’ Paul has a lot riding on this endeavor. The Big Race is two months away, and his ranch is facing foreclosure — by none other than his own daughter, Sabine (Anneke Kim Sarnau), who works at the bank, and is bitter about stuff pending reveal in the third act. Coincidentally, the prize purse will just barely cover what he owes. Also meanwhile, Jana has a couple cute googly-eyed dates with Samy (Emilio Sakraya), who she apparently met in a teen heart-rehab group, because he too has a big scar on his chest.

Dare we speculate how everything will turn out? Is Jana’s destiny victory, or death? Did I mention the horse’s name is Rock My Heart, which you’ll think is on the nose until you realize it could’ve been Fix My Heart?

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: The horse movie Rock My Heart is a lot like many horse movies, especially the Dakota Fanning horse movie Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story in reverse, since that horse movie was about an ailing race horse that was saved by a girl.

Performance Worth Watching: Klenke and Hallervorden have good chemistry, and give a predictable screenplay a solid, earnest emotional foundation.

Memorable Dialogue: “If your horse says no, you didn’t ask the right question,” is one of the fortune-cookie bits of wisdom that Paul shares with Jana while she trains to be a Jedi. Er, jockey.

Single Best Shot: If a horse movie doesn’t have a sun’s-rays-filtering-through-the-clouds-like-fingers-on-the-hand-of-God shot, it’s not a true horse movie.

Sex and Skin: Light PG teenage puppy-dog smooching only.

Our Take: Cheese is cheese, be it muenster or American. The premise appears co-opted from an inspirational plaque you’d find in the clearance aisle at Hobby Lobby. Fire up Rock My Heart, and you won’t be at all surprised by the onslaught of montages and clunky metaphors about using the whip and being afraid to step into the starting gate.

The cast frequently transcends cliches with earnest performances, and almost makes us forget that the movie has one of those Inevitable Plots that barrels along, hitting all the expected beats at the cost of character. Although director Hanno Olderdissen executes weighty scenes with an even weightier hand (no mo’ slo-mo, please), the bulk of the film is at least dramatically sturdy and tonally consistent.

Our Call: SKIP IT. If calling a movie “tonally consistent” doesn’t make it sound all that exciting, well, that’s intentional.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Read more of his work at johnserbaatlarge.com or follow him on Twitter: @johnserba.

Stream Rock My Heart on Netflix