Happy Birthday to Tim Allen, the ‘Toy Story’ Actor Who Almost Served Life for Selling Cocaine

My hometown—Kalamazoo, Michigan—doesn’t have many claims to fame. We’re mentioned in quite a few song lyrics, though we suspect many of the writers of such songs (“Down on the Corner” by Creedence Clearwater Revival, “Gotta Get Away” by The Black Keys, and of course, “I’ve Got a Gal In Kalamazoo” by the Glenn Miller Band, to name a few), have never actually visited the 16th largest city in Michigan, and simply like the sound of the word. We’ve sort of claimed former Yankee superstar Derek Jeter, who attended Kalamazoo Central High School, and we’re currently very proud of Kalamazoo native Jordan Klepper, the former Daily Show correspondent who’s now got his own Comedy Central show, Klepper. And then there’s the time that Home Improvement star Tim Allen got arrested in our airport for dealing cocaine.

Look, I wasn’t going to bring it up on his birthday—and yes, Tim Allen turns 66 today—but then I remembered it’s very likely that Allen voted for Donald Trump, and I changed my mind. Plus, he’s about to make a ton of money with Toy Story 4. He’s fine. The truth is, I simply cannot think of Tim Allen without thinking of this anecdote, and I know I’m not the only one from the Zoo who feels this way.

On October 2, 1978, a 25-old Allen was arrested in the Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport for cocaine. To be more specific, he was arrested for attempting to sell cocaine to an undercover officer. Allen had over 650 grams on him, an amount which, at the time, would have landed him in prison for life. Thankfully for fans of Buzz Lightyear, Allen only served two years because, according to CBS News, after pleading guilty to drug trafficking, Allen provided names of other drug dealers.

Now I promise you this story gets better if you’ve ever been to the Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport, because anyone’s who’s been to the Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport knows it’s the tiniest airport in the history of airports. Seriously, until the year 2011, that airport had one gate. One! You never had to ask what gate you were, because it was just THE gate! Which means that when Allen got arrested, it’s incredibly likely that everyone in that tiny airport watched that go down! Why was Allen even in Kalamazoo, you might ask? I assume because he attended one of our three major colleges, Western Michigan University, where he majored in communications and minored in philosophy.

More recently, Allen has been facing heat on Twitter for his lack of knowledge about the game Spades. Personally, I feel like we should let that one slide. What we should not let slide is this whole arrested-for-selling-cocaine thing. When he was asked about the incident in a 2017 interview with Closer Weekly, Allen called the arrest “a watershed moment. It put me in a position of great humility, and I was able to make amends to friends and family and refocus my life on setting and achieving goals.” So there you have it, folks, we can all blame the War on Drugs for Last Man Standing, which, yes, is still on TV. I hope Mr. Allen enjoys his birthday knowing that his criminal record lives on in Kalamazoo.

Where to stream Last Man Standing