‘Below Deck Med’: How Has Chef Mila Not Been Fired Already?

No really, HOW though? We’ve completed two charters and four episodes of Below Deck Mediterranean and somehow, Chef Mila is still hanging on by a spaghetti noodle. But that has to change soon…right?

It all started (well, this week anyway) with a simple request for pancakes. A charter guest wanted delicious, fluffy pancakes for breakfast. But Mila, first of all, ignored the request when Aesha placed it, and then couldn’t make them right, or really, AT ALL. That’s offensive to pancakes and to breakfast and to the charter guest who was left waiting on them for an hour. IHOP would never.

“If you’re a chef and you don’t know how to make fucking pancake batter, that’s a bit of a problem,” Hannah tells her. “That’s insane.” And she’s right. Props to Hannah for handling this whole situation rather calmly so far, but she had to draw the line somewhere, and basic pancake-making is not a bad place to do so.

When Mila dared to tell Hannah she should do the cooking, the chief stew blew up, saying, “Oh honey, you’ve already got my third stew, you want the chief stew as well cooking?”

“Oh man, there is so much hatred in your face,” Mila tells her, sounding like she’s on the verge of…giggling? Girl, come on.

“No, it’s frustration and anger because I’m serving absolute shit to guests,” Hannah clarifies. And after the horror of learning that Mila wasn’t even making pancakes from scratch but using a box mix, Hannah states one of her Hannah Hall of Fame One-Liners, saying, “You’re now bringing Aunt Jemima into this? Leave her out of it,” and truer words have never been spoken. Oh, wait: “If you’re a chef and you can’t cook pancakes, you’re not a fucking chef.” There we go.

At this point, Anastasia comes in as the lead chef which has to serve as a type of probation for Mila, but instead she takes it as another opportunity to get mad at Hannah, who is driven to the point where she has to explain, “I’m saying it to your face, Anastasia needs to cook because your food is shit.”

So at least now we as viewers aren’t the only people wondering why this woman is still employed. Joao asks Hannah, “Think she might get fired?” and Hannah’s pretty sure she will. Sandy has yet to learn about her homophobic views, which is offensive and horrific as it is, but the fact that she can’t even make a simple pancake? What purpose does Mila actually serve on the yacht at this point besides requesting Colin bring her random slabs of meat into the kitchen for no reason? Honestly, Colin’s Sour Patch Kids and Starburst sandwich suggestion is much more useful (and delicious!) than anything we’re seeing from Mila.

The episode ends with Sandy having a discussion with the chef, sugar-coating it way more than Mila did that damn vanilla cake. But she doesn’t ultimately let her go. In next week’s episode, Sandy is seen saying, “I heard someone in the deck crew actually cooks,” and color us intrigued not just as a hint that Mila could be replaced, but that one of those goofs knows his way around a kitchen?!?

Below Deck Med has been responsible for some of the best drama on TV, and this season is no exception. But Hannah’s not the only one that’s frustrated here. Homegirl’s gotta go. She’s made the guests, the crew, and now the viewers lose their appetite and it’s simply time to 86 this chef from the show.

Where to stream Below Deck Mediterranean