Stream It Or Skip It: ‘I Love You, Now Die’ on HBO, an Essential Documentary on the Michelle Carter Texting/Suicide Case

HBO’s I Love You, Now Die: The Commonwealth Vs. Michelle Carter is a vital and necessary piece of journalism. Director Erin Lee Carr does what news media and the legal system failed to do – provide a complete picture of a potentially landmark court case. In 2014, the 17-year-old Carter sent 18-year-old boyfriend Conrad Roy numerous text messages encouraging him to commit suicide; Roy then asphyxiated himself in his truck in a Kmart parking lot. She went on trial for involuntary manslaughter and was found guilty. Carr presents the story in two parts, one each for the prosecution and defense. But taken as a whole, the film paints a complex portrait of a tragic situation with no true villains, victims or simple motives.

I LOVE YOU, NOW DIE: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: Michelle Carter and Conrad Roy had a thoroughly modern relationship: most of it played out during long conversations via text message. They lived in disparate areas of Boston and were in the same room together only a few times. After Roy’s death, police confiscated his phone, and found numerous troubling texts in which he and Carter talked openly about him committing suicide – and many of her messages were baldly cruel, accusing him of being a coward and pushing him toward doing it. Suddenly, authorities, families and the media had reams of evidence in front of them, and an unprecedented look into a tragedy that inevitably prompts everyone to ask the same question: Why?

The answer isn’t so clear. Of course, as the court case became public, news headlines cleaned up the narrative: evil girlfriend wants her boyfriend to kill himself. The prosecution’s story was similar. The defense accused Roy of “dragging” Carter into his dark world, but got closer to something resembling the truth by claiming Carter was mentally ill. One of the big questions the court wrestled with was whether someone who committed “virtual” acts instead of physical ones can be held accountable for another’s death.

Carr fills the screen with the text messages Carter and Roy exchanged, and they’re often strange and upsetting, sometimes sweet and funny – and they often walk the line between revelatory and baffling. Somehow, she managed to convince Roy’s family to participate in the documentary, and we get heart-wrenching commentary from the young man’s grieving parents and grandfather. The director interviewed police, journalists and experts, as well as Carter’s friends and lawyers, as the case played out in the courtroom and media. Carter and her family turned down Carr’s interview requests; now, as the film debuts, defense attorneys are trying to take her appeal to the Supreme Court, which may have contributed to their lack of participation.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Carr’s 2015 HBO doc Thought Crimes: The Case of the Cannibal Cop touches on similar modern-age conundrums, telling the story of a man who posted stories on the internet about killing, raping and eating women, and went to prison without committing an act of physical violence. The exemplary O.J.: Made in America is another touchpoint, having provided in-depth context and analysis for a court case that made significant headlines.

Performance Worth Watching: Carter’s attorneys presented psychologist Dr. Peter Breggin as an expert witness, and he’s kind of a piece of work. He diagnosed Carter as mentally ill – which is the most convincing argument in her defense. He also points out that a significant change in behavior she exhibits in her texts coincided with her being prescribed a new medication, another cogent point. Then he says she was “involuntarily intoxicated” when she sent Roy her most callous texts, and Breggin seems to undermine his own argument with this borderline-implausible claim. Many documentaries feature someone who plays to the camera, and Breggin is it – during interviews with Carr, he uses colorful language, saying Carter is “clearly out of her mind,” but rarely employs the type of clinical analysis that would render him significantly more credible.

On a related note, watch for Esquire contributor Jesse Barron’s contributions; he uncovered disturbing parallels between Carter’s behavior and the TV show Glee that go considerably further toward illustrating her mental illness than anything Breggin says.

Memorable Dialogue: “She’s not well.” Even Roy’s mother, Lynn, seems to comprehend the underlying issue when she says she has a hard time blaming Carter for what happened.

Sex and Skin: None.

Our Take: Carr opens the proverbial can of worms with I Love You, Now Die: What exactly is “virtual” crime? Are we different people in text messages and online conversations than we are in physical reality? Why do the media and legal system tend to paint simplistic portraits of good and evil? Roy actually got out of his vehicle in the middle of his suicide, and called Carter on the phone – why didn’t she call the police or try to help him? Is she in touch with reality, or is she mentally ill? Has anyone properly diagnosed her? Why is mental illness still treated like a boogeyman in legal circles? Does modern technology contribute to mental illness? Will incarceration help Carter? Why do so few people in authority bring up rehabilitation and treatment?

Carr’s exploration of the case results in an explosion of relevant subtext. She illustrates, as clearly as possible, how the maelstrom of legal and emotional arguments in this situation seems to dance around the point of Carter’s probable mental condition. It’s shocking how the prosecution is so uninterested in the complexities of the case, and how the defense presents inept arguments; the goal is victory, not moral rectitude. Even Breggin stumbles over a piece of the truth when he calls the relationship between Roy and Carter a “perfect storm” of deeply unsettled teens struggling with each other and themselves – something Breggin does, notably, for Carr and her camera, and not in court.

When it’s diligent – and doesn’t seek a cheap and easy headline – objective commentary often sees the big picture when those mired in a quicksand of minute details and overwhelming despair don’t. And that’s why documentaries like this are essential.

Our Call: STREAM IT. Layered with the complexities of modern life, I Love You, Now Die is one of the best documentaries you’ll see all year.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Read more of his work at johnserbaatlarge.com or follow him on Twitter: @johnserba.

Stream I Love You Now Die on HBO