‘Queer Eye’s’ Dog Adoption Scene Will Wreck Your Emotions

Queer Eye has never been afraid of going for the jugular–I mean, the, uh, jugular that’s located in your tear ducts? Okay, that’s a very bizarre way of saying that Netflix’s hit more-than-a-makeover show does not shy away from making you cry. I cried when A.J. came out to his stepmom, when Skyler tried on his first fitted suit, when Tammye blessed the Fab Five, when William proposed, when Jess found her family, when Bobby gave Rob that chest with his late wife’s handwriting carved into it–this show takes a wrecking ball to my composure every time I stream it, and I love it. But Season 4 goes too far.

This season has plenty of tearjerker moments, like Jonathan Van Ness returning to his high school and burly dad John watching his daughter ice skate with Michelle Kwan (!!). But there is one moment that, to be honest, feels completely irresponsible and a bridge too far: this show, this show that lives to make viewers feel, had the nerve to include a dog adoption scene.

My heart is in my throat and my face is soaked in tears. How dare you, Queer Eye?! Consider this a spoiler alert and a joy-trigger warning for the Season 4 episode “On Golden Kenny.”

I honestly should have braced myself the instant the Fab Five entered Kenny’s time warp abode and found clumps of dog hair and a dusty dog bowl on the floor. Kenny’s dog Beau passed away unexpectedly earlier in the year and he is still grieving. As if this wasn’t devastating enough, the editors then recklessly cut to a cross stitch hanging on lifelong bachelor Kenny’s wall.

To quote Jonathan, I am very STRUGGS TO FUNC right now!!!

Later in the episode, you saw this coming, Jonathan and Antoni Porowski take Kenny to the KC Pet Project just to look at dogs. No ulterior motive, none at all. And that ulterior motive definitely is not to turn me into a blubbering mess, definitely not. BTW, check out the KC Pet Project and their Instagram and give those animals a home!

Kenny tours the place, meeting rad dog after rad dog, and then he finds the one: Akio.

Akio is a chow mix with a purple tongue who came to the KC Pet Project as a skinny, almost completely hairless stray. But now he’s on the mend! He’s on antibiotics and socializing with other dogs, and his fur has grown back. Akio is a dream, and the connection with Kenny is immediate. Kenny asks to take Akio out for a quick stroll, and then it all hits him.

This moment will win the Emmy for Outstanding Achievement in Tearjerking.

Of course the sweet moment is punctuated by the call of Mother Nature. Turns out Akio is such a polite pup that he doesn’t like going in his cage. Now that he’s outside, Akio’s ready to let loose. And he does. Forever.

I’m honestly so relieved the episode broke up all the heavy feelings with an extended pee break. I’ve never been so grateful to watch a dog go to the bathroom.

And then we’re back to the heavy emotions, because Kenny has made a decision.

There is absolutely nothing more cry-worthy than watching a grieving senior citizen ask if a rescue dog is “gonna be my doggy.” Let it be known that I immediately hugged my two sleeping cats after rewatching this scene. They did not react.

Kenny tells Akio “I’ll take care of you and I’ll feed you good” and honestly, I need Netflix to order The Small Adventures of Kenny and Akio in Kansas City to series right now. But actually, the title would have to be changed slightly because Kenny comes up with a fitting new name for his new dog. He decides to name the dog Fab Five. Fab Five! Fab for short! It’s kinda clunky, sure, but whatever! It’s perfect and Fab Five is perfect and this whole scene perfectly destroyed me!

Queer Eye knows we’re all the most emotionally vulnerable during our new season binge, yet they went on and did a dog adoption scene anyway. I’m ultimately glad they did, because Fab Five and Kenny deserved each other, but I feel very attacked. In the best way. Please keep wrecking me up for seasons to come, Queer Eye.

Stream Queer Eye "On Golden Kenny" on Netflix