Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Kids Say The Darndest Things’ On ABC, Where Tiffany Haddish Gets Precocious Kids To Say Precocious Things

If you were thinking of a host to revive Kids Say The Darndest Things, which Art Linkletter created as part of his House Party variety series, then was made into a late-’90s standalone show by (gulp) Bill Cosby, would you think of Tiffany Haddish? No? Her comedy is more family-friendly than you think at first blush; at the very least, she’s very good at adapting her act for different audiences. So now there’s a new version of Kids Say, with Haddish interacting with precocious kids. Read on for more…

KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

Opening Shot: A montage of kids interacting with Tiffany Haddish through the first few episodes of this new iteration of the classic segment from Art Linkletter’s House Party (and a revival of Bill Cosby’s 1998-2000 CBS version of this show, which we’ll get to in a second).

The Gist: Tiffany Haddish is the host of this new version of Kids Say The Darndest Things, and we start the hour with some stand-up from Haddish, talking about her little niece who tells her “You’re famous, but you ain’t all that!”, and wants her to call Michael B. Jordan to prove that she knows famous people.

This dovetails into the first kid segment with Emily, 7, Grace, 7 and Paige, 9. During an extended segment where she asks them what they want to be when they grow up and who they admire, she tries to prove to them that “Taylor Swift is my friend,” and calls her live on stage. When she gets disconnected, she then texts her and is elated to get a text back from TS that she’s on a flight. Apparently this is a “To Be Continued” story, given the highlights of episode 2 show Haddish surprise the same three girls when TS performed on GMA.

There are a couple of out-of-studio segments, where we see kids “audition” for Haddish in her office — we liked the kid ventriloquist and the kid who only seems to know how to tap dance — and a bit where she gets three kids to eat “She Ready Dessert Ketchup” on cakes, donuts, and sour straws because they think they’re doing a commercial.

Back in the studio, we hear from 7-year-old Ashton, who has a crush on a girl in class that he calls “Little Cardi B”; Michelle, 7 and Shane, 7, the latter of which keeps talking about his trip to Colombia and learning the accordion; and Jaydinn, 8, who’s already a pretty good piano player.

Our Take: Let’s start this review off by saying that we love Tiffany Haddish and we absolutely endorse the fact that, after struggling as a stand-up for the first decade of her career, she’s taking everything she can after her Girls Trip breakthrough 2 short years ago. And we have to say that Haddish is really great with the kids on the show — she probably makes a fun cousin or aunt.

But what this version of Kids Say feels like, as did the Cosby version from two decades ago, is an opportunity for Haddish to riff and do her thing with the kids there as props. The idea of the show is that, as Linkletter once said, “A six-year-old and an 80-year-old are the same thing.” In other words, they say things without worrying what anyone thinks. And in the flashback scenes that were shown on the pilot, Linkletter gave the kids room to say these funny, silly, amazingly truthful things.

Would he lead them into stuff? Sure; he was the pro and they weren’t. Did he mug and overreact to some of what they said? Absolutely. But he’d let the kids be the star of the segment (and, remember, it was just a five-minute segment of a larger show, not an entire 44-minute show by itself). Here, it feels like Haddish takes what the kids say and improvises bits where she runs and gets her phone to show she knows Taylor Swift, or dances on stage when a kid says he can breakdance. There seems to be very few places in the pilot where the kids aren’t completely overshadowed by Haddish.

The out-of-studio bit with the kids eating ketchup-covered sweets was funny just for the facial reactions the kids make as they try not to frown or gag. And there were one or two moments where the kids did truly say the darndest things, like when Grace talks about what her parents look like while dancing, to the delightful embarrassment of her parents, who were in the audience.

Haddish is an executive producer, and the show is designed to be a family-friendly companion to the venerable America’s Funniest Home Videos. So if you’re watching this with your kids, you’ll probably get a few laughs from the kids and Haddish. But you’re going to wonder the entire time why these kids’ parents agreed to have them on this show in the first place.

What Age Group Is This For?: This is pretty much good for all ages; Haddish keeps things G-rated and the humor isn’t at the kids’ expense.

Parting Shot: We see Haddish on stage on GMA talk about how the three girls from the first episode will get the surprise of their lives. Considering the second episode is called “Taylor Swift Is My Friend,” it’s not going to be much of a surprise to us. It feels early to go to that superstar guest gimmick, though.

Sleeper Star: Jaydinn boldly declared that he’s a faster and “gooder” piano player than his grandfather, who taught him everything he knows. And darn if he isn’t right.

Most Pilot-y Line: Not one mention of the Cosby version. Look, we get why mentioning Cosby himself would be a no-go, but at the very least they could have acknowledged the old version without mentioning the currently-in-prison Cos.

Our Call: SKIP IT. Unless you’re just exhausted and just want something you can watch with your family, it’s best to skip this new version of Kids Say because, at least right now, it’s more about the host than the kids.

Your Call:

Joel Keller (@joelkeller) writes about food, entertainment, parenting and tech, but he doesn’t kid himself: he’s a TV junkie. His writing has appeared in the New York Times, Slate, Salon, VanityFair.com, Playboy.com, Fast Company.com, RollingStone.com, Billboard and elsewhere.

Stream Kids Say The Darndest Things On ABC.com