Mose Schrute Is One Of The Low-Key Scariest TV Characters Of All-Time

Many people know Michael Schur as the trenchant mind behind NBC’s sophisticated sitcom The Good Place. Others may recognize the writer as Ken Tremendous, his current Twitter handle and a nom de plume Schur used when covering baseball for Fire Joe Morgan and SB Nation. While Schur has helped shape a slew of popular shows — working as a writer and/or producer on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Parks and Recreation, Master of None, and Saturday Night Live among many others — I’ll always think of him as Dwight Schrute’s cousin Mose from The Office, one of the low-key scariest TV characters in recent history.

Not to be confused with Moses Taylor (the Arrested Development character who may or may not hunt people), Mose Schrute is an enigmatic beet farmer who possesses a love of ping pong, bedtime stories, running, manure, and Jurassic Park pajamas. Seems innocent enough, right? WRONG. Underneath the good-natured facade lurks the literal face of fear.

Pop quiz. There’s a late-night knock on your door. It’s raining, and you just watched two episodes of Unsolved Mysteries (the Robert Stack version, obviously). You tiptoe across the kitchen and sneak a peek through the window. Who would you rather see?

Honestly, you’d probably want to see Mose, mostly due to Jason’s notoriously ornery temperament. He’s like a walking, talking “don’t talk to me before I had my coffee” Atlantic City Boardwalk novelty t-shirt come to life, but with murder. Voorhees, however, is a big-screen fright; we’re concentrating on the small screen. Semi-related: Do you think I’m the first person in history to create a Mose Schrute/Jason Voorhees mashup?

Liv Tyler’s Character from Armageddon: Baby, do you think it’s possible that anyone else in the world is doing this very same thing at this very same moment?
Ben Affleck’s Character From Armageddon: l hope so. Otherwise, what the hell are we tryin’ to save?

*** Don’t wanna close my eyes… don’t wanna falllll asleep… etc ***

ANYWAY, despite his well-meaning nature, Mose elicits some natural heebie-jeebies. I’m sure that if Mose and I sat down and broke beets together, we’d be pals. But if I were driving down a rural dirt road and saw the following, it wouldn’t matter if it were Friday the 12th, 13th, or 14th, I’d be hypnotized with fear.

As a natural safety precaution, I tend to stay clear of people who look too jolly while running. Same goes for anyone who uses the term “frolicking” in a text message. No thank you.

There’s a slow-simmering fury bubbling within Mose Schrute. During a deleted scene from Season 4’s “Money,” Mose is jumping on a trampoline, craving Jim and Pam’s attention, when this telling exchange occurs.

Jim: You’re doing great, buddy.
Mose: My name’s Mose, buddy.

That’s a response by a man on the verge of snapping. Also, the below photo is some true-blue nightmare fuel.

Is Mose Schrute hilarious? Yes. Is he also one bad beet away from totally losing his shit? Absolutely. Such is the duality of Mose Schrute. Your honor, esteemed members of the jury, I rest my case.

Where to stream The Office