‘Vanderpump Rules’ Did Everything Right In Its Season 8 Premiere

Unlike Kristen, I’m not “figuring it out” — I’m very confident about this season of Vanderpump Rules. We’re one episode in and it’s already delivered on the bickering and giggling I need from this show.

Season 8 is already promising so many big moments for this cast — Jax and Brittany’s wedding! Stassi and Beau’s engagement! Scheana’s inhaler! And while the central drama for the ladies comes in the form of Kristen believing she’s a better friend to them than they are to her, it is one of the only storylines I’m even remotely nervous about. I like Kristen and I like all the women (and by no means need to see the false “Katie is a bitch” narrative recycled) and I want them to be friends! But I also know this is a season-long drama that will continue to deliver.

Over on the boys’ side, I’m feeling much less apprehension around the Jax vs. Tom Sandoval beef (is Brittany’s “Fuck off Sandoval!” the new “Rot in hell”?) and am just as intrigued by how that will all play out as I am in regards to seeing Tom Schwartz likely model a full collection of muumuus this year. He’s also being set up to crumble under the pressure of serving as Jax’s sole best man, after Sandoval got demoted due to his lack of attendance at the pre-bachelor party. Yes that’s right, Jax had a pre-bachelor party (uh, hasn’t his whole life been a pre-bachelor party?) though as Sandoval very soundly explains, “which isn’t a thing, by the way.”

I’m also strongly rooting for those that have not had their brightest seasons recently. First up there’s Scheana who deserves to have some fun this year, and seems to be enjoying her status as an old school employee of SUR while literally everyone else in the group no longer works there — except Jax of course, who’s got a wedding to pay for and a continually unfulfilled need to gossip for screentime — and we’re all thankful he does. And one can only hope that James has moved on from trying to crawl his way back to SUR (he’s letting his girlfriend Raquel handle that territory now) and the show isn’t afraid to demonstrate how he’s living his best life now, which, hopefully he is.

Lala and Her Man are letting us into their engaged life this time around and he’s not the only new face on the show. What the first episode of Vanderpump Rules did so effortlessly well was weave the new cast members in, seamlessly making it feel as though they’ve been in this friend group all along. And in some ways, they have. Dayna is a TomTom hostess who was recently promoted to work at SUR, but some viewers may recognize her as one of the gals in the hotel suite who maybe/maybe not made out with Peter that night. “I’m pretty sure I’d remember my first time making out with a pirate,” is her perfect response, though not quite as good as revealing that she slept with Max the night before, her current boss and GM at TomTom. “I know Max probably doesn’t want to be put on blast at work but he’s going commando right now because his underwear are on the floor at my house, so.” Good as Gold.

What else should we know about Max? Well, it’s not easy to tell him apart from the other new cast member Brett, but you can start by remembering that he’s the one that hooked up with Scheana. Oh, wait no. That’s both of them. Max and Scheana used to date but things fell apart after she bought him an Apple watch and he couldn’t even use it to text her. But don’t worry, they’re best friends but they’re not and they talk every day and they’re going to Palm Springs together next weekend. I know it sounds like I’m being facetious but I’m truly living for all of this.

The other tall, slender brunette guy with his hair shaved on the sides and longer up top where it is slicked back is Brett, a new SURver at SUR who’s not afraid to chug from a Jager bottle at a “house chilling” party. His Scheana hookup was more recent; just a few nights ago after she invited him back to her place to play Scattergories, and it “wasn’t what he thought it would be.” When a producer asks if that means she’s not a good kisser, he confirms “that is what I’m saying.” The balls!

To be totally honest, sometimes the first episode of this show has me rolling my eyes and it takes a few to ease into the season. But this time, I was only feeling anger that the next episode wasn’t immediately available for my viewing pleasure. I thoroughly enjoyed the convenience of having Katie overhear Max calling Scheana “boy crazy” and that Carter walked in exactly when Kristen and Jax were talking about him. What timing! It’s exciting that we’ll get to see Lisa Vanderpump having some fun again, and that we have TomTom as a whole new playground for drama — and that this group is ready to play. After an incredible trailer, it’s no surprise that the first episode also delivers in every way, and has given me so many reasons to stay invested this season, but especially to find out WTF is happening here:

Vanderpump Rules airs Tuesday at 9pm ET/PT on Bravo. 

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