Fun
Frisky
Nostalgic
Intense
Adventurous
Choked Up
Curious
Romantic
Weird
Here’s the deal: I love that Godzilla is a chonk monster. I love it a lot. In fact, I wish the Godzilla in Godzilla: King of the Monsters, which airs on HBO tonight at 8 p.m. ET, were an even chonkier boi. As it is, this Gojira is still an absolute unit, and that makes me very happy.
Godzilla: King of the Monsters is the second film in the rebooted Godzilla franchise, and third film in Legendary Entertainment’s “MonsterVerse,” which consists of Godzilla (2014), Kong: Skull Island (2017), Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019), and the upcoming 2020 crossover film, Godzilla vs. Kong. Directed by Michael Dougherty, who also co-wrote the script with Zach Shields, King of the Monsters followed in the footsteps of the 2014 Godzilla, in that the titular lizard is, as anyone with a Reddit account would say, a heckin’ chonker. Some fans didn’t like this change when the first film came out. They called my perfect boy “fat” and “laughable.” I have to say: I have never agreed with anything less in my life.
Most fans and casual viewers of Godzilla movies would agree that the point has not and has never been the plot. King of the Monsters perhaps spent a bit too much time trying to prove otherwise. The gigantic cast of human actors—Kyle Chandler, Vera Farmiga, Millie Bobby Brown, Bradley Whitford, Sally Hawkins, Charles Dance, Thomas Middleditch, Aisha Hinds, O’Shea Jackson Jr., David Strathairn, Ken Watanabe, and Zhang Ziyi—are doing various things that maybe have something to do with environmentalism. Fine. But the real star here, is, of course, Godzilla.
Thanks to the first film, I already knew Godzilla was chomnk. But that didn’t stop the childlike joy I felt when he appeared on screen in all his hefty glory. Classic renditions of the monster in the movies from the ’50s, ’60s, and ’80s have tended to depict a lean mean fighting machine. While I certainly respect those Godzillas, I don’t love them the way I love my lorge son.
And let’s be honest: A chonky Godzilla is a formidable Godzilla! This Godzilla is a boy you couldn’t knock over with a pail of water. I hate to say it, but Skinny Godzilla looks like a wuss next to my big boi. Shout-out to creature designer Ken Barthelmey for the obvious upgrade. Mothra, Rodan, and King Ghidorah are all impressive too—I mean King Ghidorah has a bit of an advantage with all those heads—but none of them can measure up to the impressive physical presence of my main man. I want to watch him unleash his fiery fury on Rodan, and then I want to give him a hug.
According to a size chart from artist Noger Chen, this 2019 Godzilla is a whopping 119.8 meters tall. Tragically, the size chart doesn’t include girth. But personally, I think it falls somewhere between “hefty chonk” and “mega chonker.” All hail our chonky king.
