The ‘Terrace House’ Hosts Are Hornier Than Ever in ‘Tokyo 2019-2020’: “I Smash Tons”

If you asked me to describe Terrace House franchise in one word, I’d probably go with “pleasant.” Two words? I’d toss in “sweet.” If you gave me the luxury of a third adjective, I’d add “silly” to the list and feel pretty good about my choices. But if you got more specific and asked for one word to describe the current season, Terrace House: Tokyo 2019-2020, and you were particularly looking for one word to describe the hosts this go round, I’d say “horny.” Yeah—pleasant, sweet, silly, and horny. That about sums it up!

Seriously, something is circulating in the air in that cozy living room-esque set where the six Terrace House presenters comment on the housemates’ day-to-day minutiae. The generally feisty hosts have embraced a surprising level of frankness this season, possibly because the first half of Tokyo 2019-2020 was pretty bland. With little to talk about, the hosts seem to have pivoted to embrace their freaky side.

Let’s start by running through some of the leaps the hosts—specifically Yoshimi Tokui—have made when it comes to, uh, symbolism. He calls out Haruka’s “swinging purse” dangling in front of “that tantalizing peekaboo zone.”

He talks about boy wonder Ruka breaking free of his shell and does a gesture that leads co-host You to make a fisting joke.

Later in the season, Yoshimi joked about an imagined scenario wherein the female housemates would poke at Ruka’s crotch as if they were in a hentai.

Yoshimi called zucchini the most suggestive of the vegetables (which, you know, not wrong).

And he called basketball player Ryo a “phallic lingam” that the women in the house were going to worship.

But Yoshimi definitely isn’t the only host feeling their oats. We’ve even started to learn about certain predilections, like You’s sudden interest in purse-play…

And then there’s Ryota Yamasoto’s lingering fixation on what he calls “indirect kisses.”

We even get to every host talk about the sexiest types of pajamas, like “fuzzy” and “plaid.” Yoshimi? He likes for ladies to wear negligees.

To be fair, the hosts seem to know that the set is steamier this time around, because they keep ragging on each other. There’s the time Yamachan got on Yoshimi’s case for that whole “swinging purse” comment…

And the time everyone ganged up on Yamachan like a bunch of high school bullies.

All of this is surprising when you consider that Terrace House apparently airs on one of the more mainstream networks in Japan, one that usually errs on the conservative side. Something’s gotta be lost in translation, though, because I’m pretty sure you’d never hear Julie Chen talk this much about ejaculation during Big Brother. Because good lord, these hosts are talking about flooded basements more than a cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

The dirtiest, most I-can’t-believe-we’re-here metaphor involves housemate Ruka and his career goal to—I kid you not—shoot webs from his wrists like Spider-Man. After multiple episodes of joking about shooting webs, Yoshimi finally connects the seasons two main themes (making fun of Ruka and talking about cum) in a truly epic joke. While talking about Ruka’s interview at a Marvel-themed bar, he says that Ruka must be leaking thread …

This show is a treasure.

But really, most of all these examples are more pervy or dirty than truly horny. Let’s get into it: the hosts are horny, and they have not been shy about lusting after this cast!

This is where I have to point out that a housemate had a role in an actual softcore porn wherein he hung dong and none of the hosts even commented on it. I guess that shows how little they thought of Shohei!

Still, none of this comes close to comparing to the major, judgement-clouding crush that the consistently chaste Reina Triendl has for Ruka—yeah, the kid that wants to spin his own webs!

It starts innocently enough.

Then it… doesn’t let up.

Like, seriously.

The other hosts quickly picked up on this.

Legit, the rest of the hosts have essentially watched Torichan lose grip with reality as she constantly defends some of the most baffling things this kid does.

The fans have noticed too!

I’d say it’s more inexplicable than obnoxious. Ruka doesn’t know what the word “plain” means and I think he seriously believes that a bug bite will give him superpowers!

What’s surprising about Terrace House hosts’ turn for the thirsty is how it doesn’t corrupt the show’s silly and sweet vibe. Somehow these master commentators figured out a way to talk about “precum threads” without disrupting the wholesome vibe. And really, isn’t that healthier than America’s puritanical approach to sex and the human body?

So there’s another word I’d use to describe Terrace House: Tokyo 2019-2020: healthy. And horny. This season is healthy and horny.

Stream Terrace House: Tokyo 2019-2020 on Netflix