‘Love Is Blind’: Diamond and Carlton’s Biphobic Blowup Is the Nastiest Fight in Netflix Reality

Since entering the reality TV fray two years ago, Netflix’s unscripted offerings have remained relatively drama free. Queer Eye’s like a warm hug somehow The Circle remained completely free of politics, wild considering it’s a social media reality show. Even Next In Fashion, which featured a judge literally walking off set, kept things civil. And now we have Love Is Blind.

By far Netflix’s messiest reality series, Love Is Blind drops singles into a dozen blind dates wherein they can only hear their prospective partner. Engagements happen before the couples see each other, and then the couples see if they can make their rushed relationship work in the real world. The expected conflicts emerge, like Lauren dealing with the fact that she’s suddenly in her first interracial relationship or Jessica dealing with the fact that she said she’d marry her second choice. Yikes!

But the biggest drama of all, at least in the first five episodes of the season, went down between professional basketball dancer Diamond and social media marketer Carlton. The two made an immediate connection in the dating “pods” and were eager to get engaged. Just one potential problem: Carlton’s bisexual and he did not disclose that information to Diamond during any of their heart-to-hearts. This becomes a problem, but not in the way that Diamond, Carlton, or even the viewers expect—and it leads to the biggest, ugliest blow-up in Netflix reality TV history.

To be fair, Carlton’s fear is founded in truth. I know, personally, how hard it is to come out to someone, and I know exactly what it feels like to have “you should’ve told me sooner” thrown back at me. I have sympathy for Carlton in Episode 3 as he finally tells Diamond what’s bugging him after a day of weirdly defensive macho posturing. He braces her for the reveal, saying that he’s been in situations where people have rejected and abandoned him before, presumably (based on context) because of this fact. He tells her that he’s been with men and women in the past, a thing he’s been terrified to tell her… and she’s taken aback.

Diamond’s pause, her silent shock at taking in new info, is one that will be familiar to anyone who has ever come out. When you come out, really the only response that you want is immediate, unwavering support. Your emotions are already at a 10, and you need positive affirmation at that same level in order to even things out. If you get anything less than a 10, the panic and insecurity is only going to increase.  Diamond gives him a solid, middle-of-the-road 5.

She’s not repulsed, but she’s not hugging him and assuaging his fears, either. And here’s the thing: it’s hard to give level 10 comfort when you’re shocked! Regardless of whether or not this response is biphobia in action, she just learned something major about her fiancé that he did not tell her until a few weeks before their wedding. She’s in the right to be hesitant, even though what Carlton clearly needed was aggressive comfort in that moment.

She’s not, however, right to ask him if he’s going to need to still date men if he’s married to a woman. As Carlton calls out, that’s a common, pretty basic misconception of bisexuality. That one question is a red flag to Carlton that Diamond isn’t as knowledgeable about this stuff as he’d want her to be. Suddenly he has to do double duty, coming out and also educating. His emotions are on fire, and now he has to give a TED talk.

But—and again, I recognize this behavior!—Carlton’s so preoccupied with the worst reaction he could imagine that he’s not paying attention to how Diamond is actually reacting. Unless they edited out even more bi-oblivious questions from Diamond, the conversation goes from her asking one basic Q to Carlton freaking out and launching his cap into orbit.

He then starts shouting that he didn’t deceive anyone which… is not true! He knows that he didn’t tell Diamond about a very important part of his life, and we know it’s important because that is why he’s incredibly emotional! This does not bode well for the talk to come.

The talk happens the next day, perfectly staged by the pool, exactly where you want to have all of your heavy relationship convos. It is evident from the jump that Diamond and Carlton are arguing about two completely different things and that they’re on an inevitable collision course. Diamond says she’s upset because she feels like Carlton withheld very important information from her.

She’s! Not! Wrong! She wanted to get to know him, and she even low-key acknowledges that being bisexual is an immutable part of his identity. Him keeping this info from her, presumably after she’s told him a lot of personal stuff, is her main problem. We never even get into her feelings about bisexuality because this isn’t what Carlton hears.

Carlton hears “You withheld this very important part of yourself from me” and interprets it as “I’m not okay with you being bisexual.” Again, unless there’s some editing trickery, that’s not what Diamond’s saying. And when Carlton claps back, saying that when and how he reveals his sexuality to anyone is his choice, she agrees with him! Diamond’s point gets muddy the dirtier the argument gets, but if you rewatch, it’s pretty clear (at least in the edit) that Diamond is upset that Carlton intentionally kept this secret and not because he’s bisexual. Of course accusing bisexual people of lying and tricking people is itself a tired trope and something Carlton should totally call Diamond out on, but these two can’t even agree on what they’re arguing about to get to that point.

This leads into one of the most confounding logic loops I’ve seen on reality television, which Diamond clocks immediately: Carlton says he was afraid to tell Diamond about his sexuality, then he says that his sexuality has “never been an issue with girls,” then he calls Diamond “typical” when he thinks that she’s being narrow-minded.

Let’s recap: Last night by the pool…

This morning by the pool…

So… which is it? Is he used to people abandoning him over being bisexual, or has this never been a problem? If it’s never been a problem, then why was he afraid of telling Diamond? And how is Diamond being “typical” unless other women in his past have left him after finding this out? So Diamond is the first woman to be typical? What does “typical” mean in this context?! It’s gaslighting, and Diamond responds by removing her ring.

It’s at this point that you witness the full power of a censor-free Netflix reality blowout. The fucks, they do fly. There’s something deeply unsettling about hearing language this blunt and without bleeps. Carlton chucks the engagement ring, sending it in orbit alongside his baseball cap. That’s when things get nasty: Carlton calls her a bitch.

There’s only one way to respond to that in a reality TV setting.

Diamond storms off, Carlton shouting at her and her snapping back with Beyonce lyrics. Witness the full power of Beyonce, providing comebacks for women when their tempers prevent them from finding the words.

This is a truly maddening argument to watch unfold because it completely goes against my instincts. I went into the storyline rooting for Carlton and the underrepresented bisexual community. But instead of having a conversation about what being bisexual actually means within the parameters of a perceived-straight relationship, we get a shouting match between two people who aren’t even shouting about the same things. We never hear Diamond’s real take on bisexuality and if she’d date a bi guy. Is she actually biphobic, or is Carlton just preemptively reacting like she is? Who knows?! And we never get to hear Carlton’s truth because he’s too busy shouting conflicting accounts of his own personal history and never addresses what Diamond is actually saying.

This is Love Is Blind’s only sliver of LGBTQ+ representation and it’s not a good look. Instead, this fight raises as many red flags as questions and a deeper convo about any of the issues is never had. This is the worst fight in Netflix reality TV history, and it’s going to take a lot of drama to top it.

Stream Love Is Blind "Couples Retreat" on Netflix