Chris D’Elia On His New Netflix Comedy Special, Embracing His Great Childhood, And Why He Can’t Growl At Babies Anymore

Chris D’Elia‘s comedy seems to consist of mainly facial contortions and lots of arm-waving and kicking. But his “dudebro” approach to his comedy belies some deeper thought underneath, and an ability to spin out a story while going over multiple topics at once. He’s such a student of comedy that he actually felt bad that he didn’t have a crappy childhood like a lot of comedians do.

“Coming up as a comedian, I would feel insecure that I didn’t have that story, that I just had parents that were together, and how they’re still together,” he told Decider. In fact, in his latest Netflix comedy special, Chris D’Elia: No Pain, which debuts on April 14, he examines the fact that he had a pretty good childhood, as if that was something weird.

D’Elia has certainly come a long way since his first days as a stand-up in the mid-2000s. After starring in two sitcom roles (Whitney and Undateable) tailored for him, he now tours the country (or he did until our collective quarantine started), has a podcast that has a listenership in the six figures, and over 2 million followers on Instagram. He sits down with Decider to talk about the special, how he honed his comedy persona, and why he’ll never do a multicamera sitcom as just a regular character.

DECIDER: How are you passing the time during the quarantine?

CHRIS D’ELIA: Well, I have a newborn, so it’s actually not the worst, because at least I can hang with him, and you know?

That’s how I felt when I had my newborn, but now she’s five, so she’s a lot more active.

Right. Yeah, so it’s probably a lot more tiring for you now, at this point, having to stay isolated.

What have you thought about your fellow comedians and talk-show hosts trying to pass the time doing things like Facebook Live, Instagram Live, that kind of thing? Do you think that’s been helping?

Well, I’ve noticed a lot of people have asked me to, like, do stuff like go live; fans and stuff. I haven’t really done it too much. I don’t think I’ve done anything more than normal. As a matter of fact, I think I’ve probably done less, but I’ve noticed, definitely, more comedians have been doing it because, I think they’re bored. I mean, and it’s funny to see, that ramp up, because they need to perform in some way, because they need to get it out, and they’re not able to get onstage in front of a bunch of people now.

Once we get out of this, do you think this might change change how comedians do their promotion?

I think the true comedians will go back to doing stand-up and all that. I mean, also, that’s their bread and butter, it’s how they make money, but I think that, yeah, I think that social media is a valuable tool. I think that every comedian knows that at this point, but I think that any stragglers that are still up in the air about it, this is the time where they’ll be like, okay, I see I have to do it now. So, I think this’ll get the last of them.

How do you think you’ve utilized social media to your advantage?

I mean, look, I like just having an audience whether or not I’m onstage in front of 300 or 200 people, or 2,000 people. I also like to have an audience — I have over two million followers on Instagram — and to be home during the day, or after the show late at night, and think about how I can post something and put it out to my audience that’s just an extension of my show, is, I mean… it’s just something that charges me. I love it, it’s a great thing, but for me, the bottom line was the only reason why I wanted to grow my online audience is so they would fill seats in a real audience.

With No Pain, it feels like you had a bit of a goal in mind. Is it how it started?

So, well, I appreciate you saying that, first of all. [My last special] meant something to me, Man of Fire. To me, it was where I was in my life, and at that point in my life, and I really like that about that special. When I re-watch it, not that I ever do, but if I were, like, you know, have my son now, if I ever want to show it to him, it’s going to be where I was and what I was going through. And you know, it’s what I thought was funny, and thought was important in the world of comedy.

Coming up with material is not necessarily the hardest part to me, because I have a podcast every week; I go on and I talk about stuff I think is funny, and it’s not really well-thought out. I’m often figuring it out as I’m talking on the podcast. But to me, if I’m going to come out with an hour special, that has to be where I am in my life, and it all pertains to very, very general idea. It doesn’t have to be too specific, because then it would be either too hard or too specific, and people wouldn’t relate to it.

But this special is where we are in the world and where I fit, and where I feel like my comedy is in this world, where, with the whole “everyone’s getting offended,” which is not, it’s not a crazy, wild, new idea. I mean, a lot of comedians are talking about this, but it’s my take on it, and if I’m going to come up with a bit, it’s only going to make the special if it fits in with that, even in a small way.

Like when I talk about growling at the baby, that has to do with me because of the stand-up that I’ve been doing for a while, and now I feel numb to certain things, and that’s where I am in my life, and I remember that, and I want to remember that. So, now that I’ve put it in the special, you know, it’ll be a marker for that for me. I would do that joke, and people would get offended, and I was like, “Something is here with this,” and then I wanted to talk about that, because that happened at the show, and people would blog about it, when I was at a college, about how it was offensive, and I was like, “All right, this is all funny. This is all where we are in the world, and this is why I growl at the baby.” Do you know what I’m saying?

Was it really an audience in Boulder, Colorado that got offended, or did you just pick that city out of the air?

No, it was definitely Boulder, man. I did it two nights, I did a show two nights in a row. You know, some people laughed, but you can tell, when you do this every night, it’s like, you can tell what a full laugh is. At the first show, I was like, “That’s funny it’s Boulder, because you think of them as being so granola and liberal,” and then on the second night, I was like, “It’s these motherfuckers, dude.” And then, a month or two later, I was talking about it, and I would say, “Yeah, I did it at this show,” and I was like, “Why am I not saying it happened in Boulder? Fuck that. Fuck them. I’m going to do it. I’m going to put, they’re in the special now. They fucked up.”

I don’t know if this pertains to anything, but I always say, the best audiences, at least in the past year, have been the cities that you would think are the worst audiences, because you think that you’re going to offend them because they’re so uptight. But like, for instance, Salt Lake City, Utah, you’d think that you’d go in there, and you do all these jokes, and they’d be offended, just because it’s Salt Lake City, but they have this attitude where it’s like, “Okay, we got to prove to this comedian that we’re not like that. So, let’s show him we’re cool with it.”

Are you surprised at the fact that now, when we’re in this era where people do get offended at every little thing, that people can come to your show and be like, “Fuck it, I don’t care, this guy’s funny, I’m just going to laugh”?

I just think that, for people who say, “Hey, I’m dealing with a lot, That’s a subject that I’m dealing with on a personal level, and it hurts my feelings,” for everybody who says that, there’s one or two people that say, “Okay, well, I deal with that situation through comedy, and making fun of it.” I mean, my family, whenever we had a problem… Look, I’m not the guy to talk to if you want to come to about… I called a special No Pain because I had a great childhood, and I’m not the guy to come to if you’re going to talk about, you know, problems, but I’ve had my problems, and my family’s had our problems. We make fun of each other about it, [and that’s] how we dealt with it. So, who are you to tell me I can’t talk about that, if that’s how I deal with it?

So, that’s how a lot of audience members deal with it. I mean, I get people in my DMs that are just like, “Hey, you know, I know you were joking around and it helped,” and that means the world to me. That’s amazing.

When you’re doing the bit about the fact that you had a great childhood, and you were, you know, you finally came to the realization that you’re a white man only a few years ago, are you trying to subvert that usual picture of a comedian?

It started with me literally being, you know, coming up as a comedian, I would study it, and I read about comedians. When I would read or think about comedy and comedians, when I read their childhood, or their stories — I read books on Charlie Chaplin, on Steve Martin and how much pain he went through. Because of that, he would deal with it, and be, and he used his comedy to [deal with it], and I never really did that on a huge level.

Like I said, I had a good childhood. Coming up as a comedian, I would feel insecure that I didn’t have that story, that I just had parents that were together, and how they’re still together. And I was like, “Well, what do I talk about?”, and I would start laughing onstage. That’s something I do [where] people talk about, and I would try to not laugh onstage, because I thought that wasn’t the right thing to do. And once I came into my own, I was like, “Fuck it, it’s funny to me. I’m having a good time,” and just because I wasn’t, you know, going through hardship doesn’t mean I can’t be funny. That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.

It was a thing that kind of came organically. Like, I wanted to talk about me and my childhood, because I finally felt like, you know, fuck it, it’s funny to me, and the stuff about subverting the other stuff is just, I don’t know, it’s a weird kind of thing. Like, I felt like I wasn’t important enough in that way to do stand-up, and once I realized that it doesn’t matter, funny is funny, and who cares if it comes from pain or not, it became something that I thought was kind of important, you know? So I added it to the special.

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I am a fucking FITNESS INFLUENCER. (Also it’s cool how I almost passed out to do this joke.) #manonfire #johnnyhipscry #fitspo #inspiration #workout #motivation #neverbackingdown #chicken

A post shared by Chris D'Elia (@chrisdelia) on Apr 4, 2020 at 8:27pm PDT

How do you go about building out a story like the “growling at a baby” one, where it’s 20 minutes of jokes within the jokes within the jokes, and you circle back out? I’ve talked to Mike Birbiglia about it, he said it’s a very theatrical thing that he does in his one-man shows.

Those are my favorite kind of jokes to watch and tell in person, when you’re hanging with your friends. I like it a lot because when I’m hanging with my friends, and we’re telling a story, you get interrupted, and the story goes somewhere, and then you go back to the story. I like that [kind of storytelling], because it feels like I’m hanging out with you, if I’m onstage telling stories like that. Also, it’s more interesting to me; a bit within a bit is more interesting to me.

So, coming back to it full circle also at the end, to me, makes it feel like it’s more of a full bit, and it’s more special to me, because the longer I can make a bit, the better. I mean, a lot of people don’t like that. I get comments online where it’s like, “All right, bro, you’re talking about the same thing for 20 minutes,” but to me, that’s fucking my goal. I like doing that, because it’s like, you’re finding out all of the things that are funny about the bit to you. But it’s also, I think a lot of it, to be honest, has to do with laziness. I don’t want to come up with a whole new bit that I have to start talking about’ I’ll just milk this old one for as long as I can, and see how long I can make it.

Is this the type of thing you think you could’ve done eight or nine years ago, or ten years ago?

I don’t think so. No, because it’s too much to even think about and wrap your head around for a beginner. As a beginner, you’re like, “What’s funny, okay, I went to Verizon, it’s funny when you go to the cell phone place and they do this,” but you don’t think about it beyond that. You’re like, “Okay, next bit,” but to me, the goal is, especially in a special, is, how does that bit about a cell phone relate to all the other things that I’m talking about in my hour?

How long ago did you record the special?

I did it in November, in Minneapolis.

You knew you were going to become a father at that point?

I did. Yeah, I did, yeah.

How did that color what you wanted to do for the special? And do you think being a dad is going to color what you’re doing to be doing from here on out?

Well, I’ll tell you, I found out I was going to be a dad, and then, I knew I had that bit where I was growling at a baby, and I was like, “I got to do this before my kid comes.” I know once I had the kid I was going to start talking about that kind of stuff. I mean, and I couldn’t wait, but I had to get this special out before that. So, this special, a lot of it was solidified or thought up before I even knew I was going to be a dad.

How do you think the dad-version of Chris is going to be different?

I don’t even know. For the first time in my life, there’s something else that’s more important than [me]. I’m a selfish guy, I’m very self-centered, and I think as a comedian, part of you has to be, you know? You’re going onstage, you’re neglecting your real life, and you’re going onstage to try and tell jokes to seven people, sometimes. And for the first time, there’s something that’s more important than me in my life, and as sad as that is, and as fucked up that is to say, it’s how I feel.

Like, he’s all of a sudden, immediately become, you know, my whole life. So, I don’t know. There’s this notion of, being a dad is not… cool, or something. It’s like, “You’re such a dad joke, such a…” But I think that that’s dumb. I think that that’s short-minded. It’s cool if you’re cool, and it’s funny in the way that you think it’s funny, and my humor, I think, now having a kid, will just be my humor about my kid. I don’t necessarily think it’ll change in any dad sort of way, you know?

How would you classify your stage persona? Is it an enhanced version of you?

I would say that it’s definitely me, but… it’s me at first thought. Like, when I’m out, and something happens, I’ll have the thought of, “What the fuck is this shit,” and then about a minute later, “I’ll be like, okay, I overreacted.” It’s actually not all that big of a deal, but that, to me, my comedy is the first minute of me reacting to something in a well-thought out way.

I like how, like, you have no shame in saying that you’re the guy who would run away from a fight despite the fact that you’re acting like you would get into that fight. Had that always been your way of presenting yourself onstage?

I think that, again, I’m six-two and tall; I feel like I had a joke in my last special where it was that I look like the guy that would be that way. But I always say, you are who you are in your head, and in my head, like, I’m an outsider, and I’m nervous in situations, and that’s who I am. I think comedically, that helps.

You’re from New Jersey, but moved west when you were in middle school. How much Jersey attitude do you still have in you?

I think I still have it. You know, like, I call people “asshole” out of love. Like, I mean, if I’m making fun of you, it’s because I feel comfortable enough, and I like you. I don’t think that’s a very west coast thing. I think it’s more of an east coast thing. Not to say that there aren’t people on the west coast that do that, but you know, if I call someone an asshole, it’s because they’re part of the crew, and I feel like, that I have that still in me. And then, when I start screaming, the accent comes out a little bit. I don’t mind it coming out during stand-up, but whenever I have to play roles, I’m wary of it. You know, I don’t want to come off as the “Jersey guy” in the movie, or whatever.

Your parts in Whitney and Undateable had similar vibes. Do you think some of that attitude came out? It felt like you were doing, maybe not improvisation, but you brought yourself to those roles.

Yeah. A lot of it was. With Whitney, you know, [Whitney Cummings] knew me so well, so, already, so, they kind of would write for me, and then I would say, “What about this, what about that,” but for Undateable, it was even more that way. For Undateable, the creator Adam Sztykiel, and Bill Lawrence, they knew me, and they wanted to rewrite the pilot for me, and they were very, like, “Well, what do you think that you would do here, what’s funny for you here?” So, I would just be like, “Why don’t you do a bit about me, you know, doing this?” I mean, they would literally take stuff from my stand-up and put it in there, as long as I was comfortable with it. And a lot of it was improv. A lot more was improv than it should’ve been, considering it was a multi-camera, live sitcom.

If you were to go on another sitcom, and they said, “We want you just to do this,” and not to be pieces of yourself, how do you think you’d be able to do that?

On a sitcom, I wouldn’t do it. I would do it in a movie, or a TV show that was a single-camera, but in a sitcom, I just wouldn’t do it. It would be less fun for me. I told my agents after Whitney, I was like, “I don’t know if I would do another sitcom,” and then this one came along, Undateable, which was, like, the perfect one. Those were, like, my dream job sitcoms. Yeah, I mean, just playing a role, and not bringing myself into it, would be totally fine. I would love to do that, but not on a sitcom.

Is it because of the audience?

Yeah, it’s the audience. If there’s an audience there and I’m going to make them laugh, I’m going to think of something as me the comedian to make them laugh. I’m not going to be a role and making them laugh. Like, that doesn’t feel right to me.

Where does that instinct come from? Does that come from growing up, or does that come from something that’s more recent?

CD: It’s a little bit of both. You know, I would say it comes from growing up, but then I’ve honed it. I mean, now, I’ve been doing stand-up for 14, 15 years, I don’t even know, and there’s no way I can’t do that. If there’s an audience there, I’m going to try and be Chris D’Elia and make them laugh. I’m not going to try and be, you know, Joey Tribbiani or whatever the role, whatever the hell role I’m playing, you know?

You do a lot of physical stuff in your comedy, the facial expressions, the movement, that kind of thing, but you’re also doing a more artistic kind of stand-up, where the audience has follow along, and wait for the long payoff, and things like that. Is it something that at some point you just said, “This is how I’m going to do it,” or did it develop naturally, just by practice?

I think it was a natural thing, but it’s definitely a conscious thing as well. I think that naturally, it just, the natural order of things is, you know, my first special was very silly. My second special was also very silly, and at the end, I think I made a few more points in there than I made in the first special, and one of my friends said, the funniest part about that special is, whatever moment it was, it was a moment that he thought was funny because he knew me.

I thought it was interesting, because it wasn’t necessarily a part that I thought was the funniest part in the special, but I was like, it is the funniest part if you know me, and I was like, well, why can’t I do that with my audience? Why can’t I just make my audience know me more, and then find it funnier because it’s me? And so, for the third special, Man on Fire, that was what I focused on, and it becomes fuller and it’s more satisfying, because you’re creating this world. I do it on my podcast every week, and I see it online: People are talking about my podcast every week, and other people who don’t listen to my podcast are like, “What the fuck are these people talking about?” It’s because it’s my humor, and they don’t get it yet. That’s awesome, because if you can create a world and make people laugh within that world, there’s nothing better than that, man. That’s the best.

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The truth. From episode 62 of Congratulations.

A post shared by Chris D'Elia (@chrisdelia) on Apr 1, 2020 at 10:34am PDT

How would you know someone who knows your podcast? Like, what references would they make?

Let me tell you how I know that if you’re onboard with my humor or not: I’m not good at Twitter. So, if I put something out in my voice on Twitter, it’s written, and if it becomes a viral tweet, people who know me think it’s funny because they think, “Yeah, that’s what Chris says,” but if you don’t know me and you’re just reading this out of context, and you don’t know who I am, sometimes I seem like, exactly what I was saying, a fucking asshole. But it’s not that. If you listen to my podcast, you know I’m not an asshole.

But if you see a short clip, or if you see a tweet, or my Instagram, I don’t really get much hate. On Twitter, I get hate, because sometimes it’s just me writing this shit, and people don’t know who I am, but you know my humor if you could see my face, at least a little better than if you were to read the words. So, that’s how I know, I think, that it works for me.

What do you see for yourself, once we get past this quarantine?

I can’t imagine I won’t want to jump onstage as soon as this quarantine thing is lifted. I had, like, 25 minutes of new material before this lockdown thing started happening. I’m setting dates, I don’t want to say who yet, because it’s not out, but I’m going to do a tour with another comedian, and it’s going to be a really big one, in the fall. And so, I’m going to do that. I have a movie coming out in the end of the year, and then, I have some other TV shows that I’m working on developing. I don’t know how many specials or whatever you want to call them, hours of stand-up I want to have out there in my life. Some comedians do it every year; what, are you going to have 40 of them by the time you’re 80? That’s too many.

I don’t see myself doing that, but I think always returning to the stage at some point will be something that I want to do. I just love it so much, and it’s also my social life, man. I don’t hang out, I don’t go out. I just, I go to the club, I say hey to everybody, I do my set, and then we go to the diner, and then I come home.

Joel Keller (@joelkeller) writes about food, entertainment, parenting and tech, but he doesn’t kid himself: he’s a TV junkie. His writing has appeared in the New York Times, Slate, Salon, VanityFair.com, Playboy.com, Fast Company.com, RollingStone.com, Billboard and elsewhere.

Stream Chris D'Elia: No Pain On Netflix