‘Below Deck Med’ Needs A Few Good Men

By Lea Palmieri @littleleap
Published June 25, 2020, 11:48 a.m. ET

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If you hate clicked on this article, as I would have, considering this is not really the time to be cheerleading for mostly straight, cisgender, white men on reality TV, just hear me out for a second, I promise there’s a bright side here.

Right now, I’m worried about a trend I’m seeing on Below Deck Mediterranean this season because we’ve seen it before on the Bravo show, and that involves the group of men hired as deckhands. I’m not worried about chief stew Hannah Ferrier getting along with Bugsy Drake, who is returning to the show as the second stew, or if Jess More knows how to make the right cocktail, or if Captain Sandy can dock the boat in an insanely tight space. Those ladies will all figure it out and ultimately get the job done. I’m worried about the attitude of the men on this show.

Below Deck Med has, specifically since Captain Sandy’s arrival in Season 2, been a show that highlights the hard work, especially in the face of gender stereotypes, of women. Captain Sandy has risen to the top of her industry by proving she’s not just capable of doing the job, she’s damn good at it. From maneuvering the boat to managing the crew, she’s got her own style and it’s one that works. Malia White told me last month, “I think that having her as the first captain I worked under has really changed my career trajectory,” noting that she was the one that encouraged Malia to “pursue yachting [as] it’s not often you get another female role model in this position.”

In fact, Malia has helped to make history with this show as it’s the first season on TV where a woman is leading the boat, the interior, and the exterior departments, as she’s currently serving as the franchise’s first female bosun. And so far, she’s done a pretty great job leading the men on the deck team. She’s clear, direct, and efficient. There’s a no-bullshit attitude while she still seems to remain open to teaching anyone any skills they might not have mastered. She’s nipping issues in the bud and she doesn’t have an ego that’s in danger of sinking the ship. Calling this “impressive” would be demeaning because it would imply the expectations were awfully low for her to be able to succeed at her job. So instead let’s just say, especially in terms of this particular reality show, it’s refreshing to see this thorough competence in action.

It’s also necessary, as she’s been handed quite the bunch this year. Let’s get Peter Hunziker out of the way, who should’ve had “problematic” written on his forehead as soon as he stepped on the boat, considering all we’ve seen him do on the show is pursue former stew Lara and call Malia “sweetheart” — and was doing it so naturally he didn’t even realize he was the one calling his boss little pet names! Then came the racist meme he posted online, which he further doubled down on in comments to people questioning him about it, leading Bravo to fire him from the show, which means the amount he’ll appear throughout the season has now been minimized. Yikes times infinity.

Also on the team is Boston bro Alex Radcliffe, who Jess seems to vouch for, and who could be okay-ish. His recent game of “J. Lo or Beyonce?” wasn’t quite offensive but felt like it could’ve veered that way super quickly. I won’t admonish him right away as I’m still unsure — which in itself isn’t great as it’d be nice to trust that a deckhand dude can be trusted and respected asap. And there’s also Rob Westergaard who shared a sweet story about trying to help his mom and wanted to clarify with Malia that he had nothing but respect for her position without getting lumped in with Mr. Sweetie. Okay…but it’s also still early in the season and he’s got a romance with Jess coming up (and also an open relationship happening?). It just feels as though these guys have to prove they aren’t gross, which isn’t the best of beginnings.

But we were spoiled. The past two seasons we had Colin Macy O’Toole and Joao Franco on the deck team and that friendship (and bromance) was exactly what Below Deck Med needed to balance out the girl power that ran the boat inside. I know, I know, a lot of people weren’t thrilled with Joao in his debut during Season 3 when he flirted with both Brooke and Kasey, the stews on the boat. I won’t defend him and say that it’s just because he loves women too much (barf, that even felt gross to type) because it was a shitty thing to do and hurt a lot of feelings in the process. But I do think the most important part of that was the way he reacted. He watched that season, realized what he did wrong, and cleaned up his behavior before returning as bosun for Season 4.

Below Deck Med, more than any other show in the franchise, loves a redemption season. Chef Adam got it in Season 3 after a horrendous Season 2 where he was grumpy and aggressive and competitive, disregarding guests’ preference sheets (those f**king onions!) and fighting for Malia’s heart in a way that was way more judgemental than it was romantic. Again, he returned to the show with his tail between his legs and determined to do his job well, and he did. Whether he learned his lesson or not, well, this past season of Below Deck Sailing Yacht has blurred any definitive answer there, but the effort and reflection at the time was appreciated.

The way the casts rotate each season is a big key to what keeps this show exciting, and it’s hard to say any one person is an integral part of the show as in reality TV, everyone is replaceable. But four episodes into Season 5, I can’t help but miss Colin and Joao. Joao proved to be a good leader in the way he dealt with last season’s deckhands: Travis who struggled with his drinking and Jack who just couldn’t find an ounce of motivation anywhere on that superyacht. While Travis’s drinking ultimately hurt himself more than anyone else and wasn’t a good look at all, you could tell his heart was in the right place, as he stood up for the LGBTQ community to Chef Mila and generally wanted to simply joke around with Jack. As for Jack, he had no hesitation tapping into his heart when it came to telling stew Aesha how he felt about her.

But there was a sensitivity to the show that developed during the last few seasons. Seasons 1 and 2, well, they don’t have a whole lot of it happening, but that’s okay because again, it was a sign of evolution for the show. In Season 3, bosun Conrad Empson scolded Joao to “respect the woman” after he made derogatory remarks about Hannah, and gender norms were challenged when Conrad stood his ground with the chief stew (and his then-significant other) when it came to fighting over money — namely that he openly admitted he wasn’t in a place to financially support her needs but he would damn sure try to do so in an emotional capacity. She wasn’t really interested, but it highlighted his romantic side and drew comparisons to Ryan Gosling’s character in The Notebook — all from an argument that started about paying for cigarettes!

But the strongest, realest relationship on this show so far has been the friendship between Joao and Colin. They were roommates and pals that had each other’s backs in every way and checked each other when necessary. They weren’t afraid to be softies, each crying multiple times during their two seasons on the show about various issues. They shared their feelings freely and showed emotion, especially with each other. They both got teary talking about their families and the close relationships they have with them, and you’re a liar if you say you didn’t get misty when Colin’s parents came to visit him.

Joao had almost too much respect for Captain Sandy as some of his crewmates labeled him a bit of a butt-kisser, and it was nice to see an actual friendship develop between him and Hannah in their second season working together. Plus, have you even recovered yet over that time Colin, maybe the nicest man to ever both appear and thrive on a reality TV show, volunteered to sacrifice his position so that stew June could stay on board? Our hero!

It didn’t hurt that Season 3 also had a female deckhand in the form of the highly underrated Jamie, but there was already a strong chivalrous quality amongst the men on this show, so it wasn’t like the male energy was in desperate need of a balance. Especially looking back on it now and comparing it to the brus of Below Deck Season 7 and their truly abhorrent behavior, which only seemed to worsen by having female deckhand Rhylee on the team.

Joao and Colin specifically, but also the men they worked alongside during their seasons, brought humor and lightness and lovely side to the show that captures a predominantly (often macho) male field. The same muscles that yanked in the lines to the yacht were also used to embrace each other.

Lots of people like to point to the argument that Below Deck Med hires people from all corners of the globe and some cultures behave in different ways. And sure, this is a show that thrives on drama. But let’s not dismiss how much viewers cherished the nice moments this show has provided. It was essential to have emotionally vulnerable men around when the women were tasked with keeping their game faces on and making sure it was all smooth sailing during charters. Just as this show seeks out strong women, it should also value sweet men.

Below Deck Mediterranean airs Monday at 9pm ET/PT on Bravo. 

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