I Listened to The Harry Styles Sleep Story Every Night For a Week — Here’s How I Slept

By Lea Palmieri @littleleap
Published July 15, 2020, 9:12 a.m. ET

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One week ago, the Calm app debuted a new sleep story featuring the soothing and sexy voice of Harry Styles. Now, the Calm app, Harry Styles, and sleeping are three of my favorite things, and three things I’ve been clinging to rather tightly in the last few months. If you’re unfamiliar with any of those three elements, well, first we need to get you a nap and Calm can help with that. It’s an app that includes daily meditations, peaceful music, and bedtime stories that will help you relax, fall asleep, and ultimately get your mind right. Next, go ahead and fire up the Fine Line album because it’s a timeless piece of art (I don’t make the rules).

I started using Calm in mid-March (go figure!), making my homegirl Tamara Levitt’s Daily Calm 10-minute meditations part of my morning routine, as well as logging my feelings in the Mood Check-In section (when you look at the month-long view, it’s like a ride an on emoji roller-coaster, wee!). While safely tucked into my bed in New York, I’ve taken pre-sleep mental trips via serene stories to places such as Hyde Park in London and Paris, France, locations I can’t physically visit for quite some time. There’s also a great series from LeBron James on the app, Calm Remixes of 5 Seconds of Summer songs and even Matthew McConaughey, Kelly Rowland, and Thomas the Tank Engine have gotten in on the very chill fun.

For Harry, this makes perfect sense. Not only has he invested in the company, but a wholesome yet modestly romantic bedtime story totally matches his whole vibe. No other male artist walks the line of sweet innocence and safe sexual energy the way he does. It’s never just about eating fruit on a beach. He’s one of our most prized professional teases we have today. So even while I thought Calm missed an opportunity to promote the new story with phrases such as “sleep with Harry” or “get in bed with Harry,” it’s titled “Dream With Me” and the description reads, “Fall asleep and fall in love with the dreamy voice of Harry Styles.” Once again, this guy knows exactly what he’s doing. I understand if you happen to be feeling skeptical or rolling your eyes, but I’ve found it’s easier to just accept I’m a full sucker for it. All it took was for Calm to be properly back on track, as I’m not alone — fans flooded the app all day in anticipation.

So on a night when we should’ve been hanging out together at his last of three nights at Madison Square Garden (sigh, see you in…15 months, bro), I popped a CBD gummy and got into bed with Harry’s voice in my ears, albeit in a much quieter manner than I’d originally expected. I’ve listened every night for a week now, and here’s how I slept.

Night 1

Not great! I’m too confused! Am I supposed to be turned on while I’m turning off my brain? What is our end goal here, my guy? Because the way he reads the rhymes so innocently makes everything he’s saying inherently intriguing. Harry speaks slowly and sweetly, with entirely the right cadence and confidence that telling a bedtime story deserves. So I had to repeatedly ask myself, “Wait, am I being a perv here?” as he detailed us, yes “you and me,” running our hands through blades of grass and trekking through a forest until we somehow found ourselves relaxing inside a cabin in front of a fireplace. We also hit up the beach and other picturesque locales in secluded corners of the world.

I was simply too excited about the prospect of snuggling on a raft, and I called off any immediate signs of sleep the second I heard his accent flowing over the words “pitter-patter” to describe raindrops.

Night 2

I made it through the whole story again, with Harry speaking for about 32 of the 40 minutes, as the tinkling music takes it to the end. That might technically count as a failure, as the goal is to be out of it before Calm returns to the soothing sounds of its nature home screen, but I didn’t want to miss a moment of our relaxing world adventures! I wasn’t too hard on myself about not drifting off before the end though because once I did fall asleep, I slept hard. Imaginary world travels can be tiring too.

Night 3

I made it to the “powdery” sand on the beach and that’s the last thing I remember. I slept real well!

Night 4

Calm tried to suggest other stories for me to listen to before I returned to this one, as though the app was unaware I was conducting this very scientific experiment — not to mention, that I would ever tire of this installment? But I think it’s working because wow did I fall right asleep during the beginning and didn’t even make it to the start of our gorgeous globetrotting adventures.

Night 5

The Sunday Scaries decided to show up and I was simply too distracted to concentrate. My mind wandered as I realized the music, an element I hadn’t yet paid close attention to, is very pleasant and ebbs and flows nicely throughout. My mind was working overtime as I found myself wondering more about the details of our trip, which I imagined in this world we sufficiently packed for: blankets, snacks, sunscreen, yes? I smiled when we got to the raft snuggling again, but then started wondering…does it have cup holders, this raft? Do we have tasty beverages with us? Does thirst not exist in this dream world?

Because thirst surely exists in this world, while I thought about what it means that we held hands on a few separate occasions here, a gesture that doesn’t just signal security and closeness, but as we all know, means there are no paparazzi in this dream world and if there are, Harry doesn’t care. Afterall, pre-Instagram grid days, a celebrity holding hands with someone else was the original way to signal to the world, this relationship is official. Unsure of the rules in dream world, but positive that I need some rest.

Night 6

I fell right asleep before we could even begin our adventures and I feel conflicted. On one hand, it’s working! On the other, I have dream FOMO! Harry was right though, my day did have a lot of busy-ness and I thank him for seeing me off to my slumber.

Night 7

I conked out not long after making it to the raft and became embraced by a deep sleep. Mission accomplished.

Of course, staying asleep is a whole different story and Harry will have to come in the form of something a little stronger, say 10mg or so, to accomplish that, especially in these times. But there are a lot of positives here. The emotional fantasy porn of this lovely adventure series is a super pleasant way to end the day, not only as a treat to my ears and heart, but also my eyes as it’s helped me avoid screentime. It also seems to work as a mental balm considering I had no memorable dreams, though perhaps my subconscious was too tired from all the dreaming I was accomplishing before actually achieving sleep. See you again tonight, Harry.