‘I’ll Be Gone in the Dark’s Final Moments Are Deeply Empowering

Every good true crime story ends with an arrest. Finally the monster is captured, and justice is served. Yet in keeping with the genre-bending theme it’s harnessed throughout its entire six episode run, that’s not how I’ll Be Gone in the Dark ends. After exposing the name of the murderer hiding in the darkness, the HBO docuseries instead ends on a note of celebration for the the survivors of this awful case — and somber reverence for Michelle McNamara’s work. The final moments of this shocking docuseries never give Joseph DeAngelo the satisfaction of being about him. It’s a choice that beautifully echoes the resilience of these survivors.

Most of “Walk Into the Light” revolves around the revelation of the Golden State Killer’s true identity. As the countless news reports play in the background, the camera stays trained on the faces of this case’s investigators and survivors. For Michelle McNamara’s loved ones, DeAngelo’s capture means a re-examination of the vast evidence she collected in yet another desperate attempt to understand the departed woman they so loved. For DeAngelo’s family, it’s a moment of abject horror as they realize the man they adored was always more sinister than they ever suspected. And for the East Area Rapist’s too many victims, hearing DeAngelo’s name is a moment filled with sickening relief. After years of torture the man who haunted their nightmares has finally been captured.

Other true crime docuseries would likely end there. But I’ll Be Gone in the Dark takes this moment of reckoning a step further to dwell on the humanity of the survivors, rather than their pain. The late McNamara’s husband Patton Oswalt explains it best in the episode’s final 10 minutes.

“Meeting those women up in Sacramento, to see them there and they’re smiling and they were joking with me,” Patton Oswalt says. “They had every right to become horrible monsters like Joseph DeAngelo, and they didn’t. So them and the way that they’re living is such a ‘Fuck you’ to him. Like ‘You tried to bring the same damage to us that forever warped you, and it didn’t work. And we proved that you could have chosen to overcome this. And that’s why you can’t look at us.’ Fuck you, Joseph DeAngelo. Fuck all these fucking losers, zilch assholes. Fuck them.”

The episode shows exactly what the “fuck you” Oswalt is talking about looks like. Shortly after DeAngleo is taken into police custody the remaining survivors of the Golden State Killer join together for a picnic. There’s hugging, laughter, wine, and sunshine. For minutes at a time you can forget the horror hiding beneath their casual references to each other as numbers 10 or 31. Those innocent-sounding nicknames are actually references to the order in which this one man irreparably destroyed their lives.

“Something else happened during this year, and that is us,” Pedretti declares during a toast at the picnic. ” When we met we had no trouble sharing what we couldn’t with other people because it comes from here and we get it and we know what it means. We’re not just survivor sisters. We’re a survivor family.”

That deep love in the face of tragedy is shown again through Oswalt and his daughter, Alice. As the grieving widower talks about the parts of his wife he wish he understood better, he looks forward to her legacy. Teaching the late McNamara’s daughter about who her mother was, preserving this author’s work, hugging and bonding with these survivors — these moments only came as a result of the horror one criminal inflicted. And yet they’re moments of strength and happiness.

McNamara ended her book with one of the most haunting passages in the history of true crime: “‘You’ll be silent forever, and I’ll be gone in the dark,’ you threatened a victim once. Open the door. Show us your face. Walk into the light.” Liz Garbus’ examination into this case puts McNamara’s final sentence into practice. Joseph DeAngelo may have only recently walked into the light, but the men and women he terrorized have been bravely, defiantly living there for years.

Watch I'll Be Gone in the Dark on HBO