Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Rebecca’ on Netflix, a Blah Psychodrama Starring Lily James, Armie Hammer and an Ice-Cold Kristin Scott Thomas

A remake of an Oscar-winning movie based on an enduring Gothic novel maybe seems like a bad idea, but Netflix and director Ben Wheatley tackled Rebecca anyway. Alfred Hitchcock’s extraordinary 1940 film is easily the most renowned adaptation of Dame Daphne du Maurier’s book; the haunted romance also has been interpreted for stage, TV and radio since it was published in 1938. Wheatley’s film roped in Lily James, Armie Hammer and Kristin Scott Thomas for key roles, but may have too many tough acts to follow.

REBECCA: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: We never learn her name until she’s married, and even then, it’s only Mrs. de Winter. So, Our Protagonist (Lily James) works as a “lady’s companion” to a ghastly woman (Ann Dowd) who’s clearly not much of a lady, and superior to her in status but not kindness, prudence or temperance. Then, a man in a mustard-colored linen suit enters Whassername’s life and lets her drive the Bentley, which is not something you just let anyone do. His name is Maxim de Winter (Armie Hammer), and boy, is he ever. File under feet, swept off of. To save her from her awful, condescending, ugly-in-every-way employer, and finally give her a name, Maxim marries the crap out of her.

So Mrs. de Winter is welcomed by a military cavalcade of servants to the de Winter estate, known as MANDERLY, a word that must be spoken only in hushed, haughty tones. The money in MANDERLY is so old, it’s rotting. The butlers stand board-stiff, although their eyes move like they’re in old creepy portrait paintings. Did I mention Maxim is a widower? Well, I should’ve by now, because it’s really important. The dearly departed was Rebecca, and her monogrammed R adorns linens and lingerie and hairbrushes with her hair still in them (ew), and dominates entire wings of MANDERLY. Maxim won’t talk about her. The dogs seem to see her ghost. And head housekeeper Mrs. Danvers (Kristin Scott Thomas) seems to prefer the previous occupant, if one chooses to interpret the grim skullfacedness she directs towards the new bride, whose clueless naivete erodes by the hour.

So MANDERLY has a solid three, maybe four thousand bad vibes wafting among its museumlike halls and palatial drawing rooms, through which poor Maxim sleepwalks. And suddenly, in these very, very brown and insanely overdecorated environs, he’s cold. Goodbye honeymoon, hello baggage. The only people who treat fresh Mrs. de Winter kindly are Frank (Tom Goodman-Hill), the estate manager, and Maxim’s sister Beatrice (Keeley Hawes) See, if the rottentoothed matey in the abandoned boathouse is to be believed — and why shouldn’t he? — Rebecca died by mysterious and tragic circumstances. And nobody seems to be over it. It sure seems like Mrs. de Winter has indeed stepped in it, especially when she watches the birds flock eerily in the sky in patterns shaped like omens.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Rebecca (1940). Maybe that goes without saying. The flocking-birds cliche is straight outta True Detective. And it has a Titanic upper-lower-deck/Fukunaga’s Jane Eyre/watered-down Todd Haynes quality to it.

Performance Worth Watching: Thomas is memorably icyyyyyyyy with her frowny lipstick, but to be frank, the flavorless tone of this film doesn’t do the cast very many favors.

Memorable Dialogue: “All marriages have their secrets,” Maxim says to his new wife, which is a fart-in-church comment if I’ve ever heard one

Sex and Skin: Maxim and whassername share an awkward moment on their first date when they peer through binoculars and see a couple doinking on their boat.

Our Take: I’ve barely mentioned Mrs. de Winter, who, don’t forget, is Our Protagonist here. She’s quite passive for two-thirds of the movie, just looking squinchy at things as they reveal themselves. And the more she finds out about her sullen husband, and realizes she’s really bad at throwing masquerade balls for dukes and crap, the less fun life in an isolated mansion seems to be — especially when you’ve gotta use someone else’s old hairbrush, and by the looks of the place, they could damn well easily afford a new one.

And when Mrs. de Winter finally converts from meek to empowered, it’s just in time for the movie to become an ineffective, histrionic melodrama that probably isn’t supposed to be funny, but kind of is anyway. One scene is scored by sledgehammers on harpsichords, the best way to punctuate the ratcheting-up of suspense as the film stomps on the gas and guns it through a collection of plot points on the way to a hasty and dissatisfying conclusion. This isn’t much of an updated Rebecca; for too much of the film, Our Protagonist is a passive mouse ground up in the wheels of class warfare, and if you believe her impassioned change of character in the final act is feminist, well, you haven’t seen the last several Disney princess cartoons. (No, that isn’t a joke, so don’t you dare take it that way.)

I will say this is a handsome film, lovingly photographed with lots of evocative lighting and ornate set pieces contributing to the gloomy ambience. But the characters are DOA, it never really catches fire as a psychological thriller or a passion-fueled romance and you’ll ultimately feel like this was done a lot better a long time ago in a pre-retro era, when shadows and fog enveloped Mrs. de Winter in a cloak of damp melancholy.

Our Call: SKIP IT. The ninth rule of Fight Club is, DON’T REMAKE HITCHCOCK.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Read more of his work at johnserbaatlarge.com or follow him on Twitter: @johnserba.

Stream Rebecca on Netflix