Stream It or Skip It: ‘The Witches’ on HBO Max, a Roald Dahl Remake That’s Too Close to the Original

The Witches is a new adaptation of Roald Dahl’s classic novel about a kid and his grandmother who accidentally crash a big witch convention at a swanky hotel. A coven of creators assembled to make this movie: Robert Zemeckis, Kenya Barris, Guillermo del Toro, Alfonso Cuaron—that’s a lot of movie magic, and now it’s on HBO Max.

THE WITCHES: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: The 1983 novel by Roald Dahl gets a new adaptation courtesy of director Robert Zemeckis and his co-writers Guillermo del Toro and Kenya Barris. Oscar winner Octavia Spencer stars as Agatha Hansen, grandmother of the orphaned Charlie (Jahzir Bruno). After running afoul of a witch just out and about in their Alabama town, Agatha wastes no time and whisks Charlie away to a swanky hotel down by the shore (witches only prey on the poor, you see). But Agatha didn’t count on one major curveball: witches use swanky hotels to hold conventions, and the Grand High Witch (Oscar winner Anne Hathaway) is doing just that. Talk about bad timing!

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Well, 1990’s The Witches by director Nicolas Roeg. Even though the film’s setting has been changed from 1980s England to 1960s Alabama, Zemeckis’ take on the Dahl story feels scarily in line with the version that terrified kids 30 years ago. And in one very crucial way, this version is actually even more faithful to the source material.

Performance Worth Watching: Newcomer Jahzir Bruno has a lot riding on his shoulders. He has to be a great voice actor—which is a unique skill—and he has to hold his own against a bunch of Oscar-winning adults. He succeeds in both areas, making Charlie a lovable lead that you really don’t want to see get hurt. Of course, this being The Witches, Charlie is indeed placed in a scary amount of peril!

Memorable Dialogue: The movie starts with Chris Rock delivering this gem of a line with all the intensity of Bring the Pain: “A note about witches—see, here’s the thing about them: they’re real. Witches are as real as a rock in your shoe. That’s the first thing you need to know. The second thing you need to know? They’re here!”

Our Take: It’s easy to see why The Witches was destined for a remake. It’s a story by a beloved (and also incredibly problematic!) children’s author, for one thing, and Hollywood is always looking for spooky stories to adapt for October. The 1990 original was a special effects marvel, with its horrifying prosthetic and makeup effects. You know CG animators have probably been dying to cut loose on Dahl’s demonic witches. Then there’s the fact that while the original is beloved and acclaimed, it didn’t do so well at the box office. It’s more of a cult classic than anything else, and it’s terrified more children via home video than it ever did in theaters. It’s long been ripe for a return!

And that’s why it’s a shame that this version of The Witches feels more like a retread than a worthwhile reimagining. It’s especially a bummer because the move to Alabama and casting of Spencer and Bruno was truly inspired. It made this new Witches feel like it’s part of this horror moment, one currently defined in part by Lovecraft Country (also on HBO). The first half hour, which focuses on Agatha and includes flashbacks to her Depression-era childhood encounter with a witch, feels totally unique. It’s retro southern horror told from a Black perspective—in a children’s movie! How often do you see that?

The problem is, that truly unique POV fades away as soon as Grandma and Charlie arrive at the hotel. The hotel could truly be anywhere. The only reminders of the movie’s new setting are Stanley Tucci’s accent, and Agatha’s few fleeting, knowing interactions with the hotel’s staff. The hotel portion of the movie—so, y’know, the movie—feels almost like a scene for scene remake of the 1990 film, except with explosive CG and the obligatory groaner of a nut-punch gag that every single kid’s movie has to have.

That’s not to say that the movie stops making choices once our leads check-in to the hotel. Anne Hathaway’s entire performance as the Grand High Witch is, from the top of her rash-covered scalp to the bottom of her velociraptor-toed feet, a choice. It’s almost like, knowing that there was absolutely no way she could ever out-witch Anjelica Huston (who may actually be a grand high witch for all we know!), Hathaway decided to just do her own thing on as big a scale imaginable. She gives us the full Gargamel, screaming about how much she hates tiny children and cackling at their pain. She intimidates humans and witches alike, and does so using the most out-there accent I’ve heard recently. Hathaway’s accent is an overflowing plate of bad impressions from the Accent Buffet—part Scottish, German, and I think Hungarian? It’s not good, but it might just be great.

And truly, everyone in the film is doing solid work. I love seeing Spencer in what ultimately amounts to kind of an action hero-y role, as Grandma squares off against the wicked witch of Alabama. Tucci’s having fun, Kristin Chenoweth is definitely having fun as a sassy mouse—the cast is good! The problem is that they’re stuck in a rerun of a movie that they can’t fully call their own.

Our Call: SKIP IT. This remake has a fantastic cast and is definitely spooky, but it’s just a bit dull when compared to the original (which is streaming on Netflix, BTW).

Stream The Witches on HBO Max