Fun
Frisky
Nostalgic
Intense
Adventurous
Choked Up
Curious
Romantic
Weird
Horror movie villains all tend to have a weapon of choice; knives, axes, their bare hands, you name it. But there’s one more weapon many wield that isn’t discussed nearly enough: killer looks. It’s not a gift that all have (sorry, Freddy Krueger), but many-a-murderer are blessed with faces only the Devil himself could have created. We’re talking bloodthirsty fellas who evoke a certain thirst in us all, like the boys from Scream, King of Mommy Issues himself Norman Bates, both iterations of Hannibal Lecter (it is genuinely impossible to choose between movie Hannibal and TV Hannibal. Both Anthony Hopkins and Mads Mikkelsen are good enough to… eat). Old and young, masked and bare-faced, stealthy and showy – each of these captivating killers boast characteristics that have allowed them to go down in history as some of the most memorable movie villains out there. If looks could kill, these guys would have much higher body counts.
I could spend all day and night making jokes about the sex appeal of slaughtering innocent movie characters (we’re whore-ors for these villains, I just died in your arms tonight, murder isn’t the only thing we’re screaming about, you get the picture), but let’s get to the good stuff. The dudes that are hot and dangerous, who take up space in our minds for reasons both titillating and terrifying, and they are scored as such: level of hotness, and level of dangerousness. Prepare yourselves.
If these guys weren’t so busy with their butchering, they would totally be boyfriend material.
David Collins, 'The Guest'
Hotness: 10/10
Dangerousness: 10/10
The man, the myth, the murderer who inspired this list. Dan Stevens as David Collins in The Guest, a thriller best described as a lovechild of John Carpenter and James Cameron in their prime. This military test subject-turned-dangerously hot (and dangerously dangerous) civilian wreaks total havoc on the Peterson family and anyone else who might expose his true identity, but boy, does he look good doing it. He’s quite the shot, a pro in a knife fight, and well-versed in hand-to-hand combat (in more ways than one). The most memorable moment of hotness? When he steps out of a sensual cloud of steam post-shower and a towel hangs onto his hips for dear life.
Billy Loomis & Stu Macher, 'Scream'
Hotness: 8/10
Dangerousness: 7/10
In Scream, Skeet Ulrich and Matthew Lillard gifted us with some of the most memorable villains in horror movie history when the true identities of Ghostface were revealed. I know some of you may not be totally on board with Stu because he’s not really part of the sexy storyline here, but hear me out. The reveal doesn’t work without this duo, and it doesn’t work without their combined hotness, dangerousness, and ridiculousness. (I think about Lillard’s delivery of “my mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me” like, once a month). Ulrich’s got that raw, bad boyfriend sex appeal (still not over him sucking corn syrup off his fingers), and Lillard is the perfect unexpected partner-in-crime, a goofy loose cannon who manages to still be endearing even after we learn he’s a murderer. High school with these two is Hell, but at least it’s hot down here.
Mickey Altieri, 'Scream 2'
Hotness: 7/10
Dangerousness: 5/10
Say what you want about the Scream franchise, but they sure know how to cast hot people. The reveal of Timothy Olyphant as Scream 2‘s murderer (or half of the murdering team, rather) is one of the most dementedly delightful sequences in the entire series. His performance is so beautifully unhinged and totally insane, full of dramatic flair and crazy eyes that somehow still manage to scream “SEX APPEAL!!!!” Even if his maniacal big moment is relatively short-lived, Mickey boasts an unshakeable type of sinister sexiness that earns him spots on lists like this. And that’s all thanks to Olyphant’s utterly deranged display on that fateful stage.
Patrick Bateman, 'American Psycho'
Hotness: 9/10
Dangerousness: 10/10
There is plenty of debate to be had about whether or not American Psycho is straight “horror”, but it’s certainly got some horrific (and hot!) sequences thanks to Christian Bale’s Patrick Bateman. The man is chiseled as hell and he’s got a skin care regimen, which is almost impossible to find these days. He may not be as technically dangerous as David in The Guest, but he’s dangerous because he blends in (for the most part). He can rock a suit at a power lunch in broad daylight and charm women into coming home with him (to be murdered). Patrick also receives extra points in both categories for axe-murdering Jared Leto.
Hannibal Lecter, 'The Silence of the Lambs'
Hotness: 6/10
Dangerousness: 9/10
I know some of y’all are going to balk at this notion, but Anthony Hopkins can get it. Judge me all you want! Hannibal Lecter is a man of taste (well, excluding the whole eating people thing). He’s got those piercing baby blues. He’s dangerous as hell because he’s so damn refined. He enjoys fine art and literature and classical music and opera. He can cook. He can probably speak multiple languages. He’s got great posture. He’s a medical professional. He was a respected member of Baltimore society. What more could you possibly want out of a man? (Besides not having human remains prepared for you in Michelin-star fashion without your knowledge).
Michael Myers, 'Halloween'
Hotness: Unscorable, but not for the reasons you think
Dangerousness: 7/10
Okay, this may not be the most conventional addition to the list, but even though we see what’s behind the mask later on, I’m talking about his vibes with the mask. I mean, it takes a lot to work a boiler suit and heavy ass boots like that. And to move that slowly? With that kind of swagger? The dude has *it*. It’s that hotness that’s hard to pin down, the kind that you can only really understand once you’ve experienced it. And yeah, he’s pretty skilled with a knife and appearing behind hedges more quickly than he should be able to. Just imagine if he learned to love.
