Every Chip & Joanna Gaines Magnolia Network Show on Discovery+, Ranked

Ah, yes, the bottom of the list… As much as it pains me to put these shows last, all of them still need a lot of tweaking before they hit the official Magnolia channel. And I bet Chip, Jo, and their fellow executives know that. After all, what we’re looking at here are pilots. So who knows? These could wind up being the biggest hits, but only after some major tweaks…

22) Point of View: A Designer Profile

Talent: Jean Stoffer
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Half-hour
Basic Gist: Each episode of Point of View: A Designer Profile will profile a different interior designer as they regale us with tales of how they got into the business and work on new projects.
Verdict: I literally couldn’t force myself to finish this show because it had no narrative. It has all the allure of listening to a stranger describe the thought process behind their Pinterest boards. Maybe this will be fun for hardcore design nerds, but it feels like filler more than anything else.

21) Road to Launch

Talent: Chip & Jo Gaines (and Various Magnolia Stars)
Episodes Available: 8
Length: Under 10 minutes
Basic Gist: Chip and Jo check in with the talent of Magnolia while they’re in lockdown.
Verdict: You’d honestly have to be a Chip & Jo superfan to willingly sit through their Zoom chats with folks like Erin French and Jonathan Morris. This isn’t a show, per se, as much as it’s a way to advertise the network during quarantine. I still liked it more than Point of View. (I really disliked that show!)

20) Self-Employed

Talent: Jonathan Morris
Episodes Available: 1
Length: 16 minutes?? (I think this is a Proof-of-Concept and not Pilot)
Basic Gist: Successful entrepreneur Jonathan Morris visits other self-employed folks to learn their stories and cherry-pick advice.
Verdict: I’ve seen Proof-of-Concepts before, so I understand this isn’t a full episode of television, but wow this did not feel like a full episode of television. If anything, it felt like a self-help guru’s YouTube channel. Could come together, but at this point it’s skippable.

19) Ranch to Table

Talent: Elizabeth Poett (pictured above)
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Half-hour
Basic Gist: Elizabeth Poett is a 7th-generation cattle rancher keeping the lifestyle going in Central California. Join her for gorgeous b-roll of her farm and awkward (and way too easy?) recipes.
Verdict: This is maybe the most shameless Pioneer Woman rip-off I’ve ever seen (and I am a big Girl Meets Farm fan). While I was dazzled at first by the show’s spectacular cinematography, I soon became puzzled by Poett’s unease in the kitchen. It could be nerves, but Poett needs to find more confidence on-camera and that special something that differentiates her from Ree Drummond.

Now that we’ve gotten the Magnolia preview tab’s stinkers out of the way, lets dig into the shows that have potential, but also the potential to make you yawn. There’s nothing truly bad about them, but there’s nothing that grabbed me. These are the shows that I struggled to remember even after watching them. That said, one of these could be you favorite! (I see you, woman with four Johnnyswim tattoos featured in the Johnnyswim show, and I respect your life choices.)

These are the shows that are just fine, I guess…

18) Family Dinner

Talent: Andrew Zimmern
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Half-hour
Basic Gist: Chef Andrew Zimmern visits everyday families to learn about the culinary traditions that keep their homes full of life and love.
Verdict: It’s fine! Completely fine! A relatively charming look at the impact home cooking has on our families. My only two quibbles are I’ve seen a million food shows that travel to Queens and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to take out of it.

17) First Time Fixer

Talent: Chip & Jo Gaines
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Half-hour
Basic Gist: Chip and Jo offer moral support and a few helpful tips to folks embarking on their first flips.
Verdict: Take Chip and Jo out of this show and you get a carbon copy of any filler HGTV show. You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones they air in early morning weekend blocks before giving us what we really want to see: seven straight hours of Chip and Jo. It’s basically just a renovation show. That’s all.

16) Home On the Road with Johnnyswim

Talent: Johnnyswim (pictured above)
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Half-hour
Basic Gist: Home on the Road is a docuseries following popular band Johnnyswim as they balance coupledom and parenthood with the rigors of a tour.
Verdict: If you’re a hardcore Johnnyswim fan — and they exist — this is probably a must-watch for you. However, I am not a proverbial Swimfan, so I was a bit bored watching this picture perfect couple breeze through their day. The most dramatic thing to happen in the first episode involves ordering bagels. I’m not joking. Amanda is craving bagels, so husband Abner finds a deli in Texas. They order bagels and have an emotional connection to the woman who made their bagels. Do you see what I mean? Not exactly the most thrilling content for casual viewers. And what was probably quirky in the pitch meeting — imagine you have to WORK with your KIDS crawling all over you — is now very mundane in 2021. So, yeah, it’s fine!

15) Breaking New Ground: Expanding the Silos

Talent: Chip & Jo Gaines
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Hour
Basic Gist: Our fearless leaders Chip and Jo have purchased more land surrounding their beloved silos and are building what looks to be a tiny village for tourists to come and pay homage to their greatness.
Verdict: Sigh, as you can tell from my description of the special, I personally feel uncomfortable with Chip and Jo’s ever-evolving literal land grab in Waco, Texas. They essentially have built a theme park for people to visit and gawk and shell out money on souvenirs. This is just a bloated advertisement for that theme park, which, again, is fine! I just prefer pretending Chip and Jo are just low-key house flippers and not lords of a Texas fiefdom.

14) Super Dad

Talent: Taylor Calmus
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Half-hour
Basic Gist: Taylor Calmus is a builder and inventor obsessed with making life fun for kids. He teams up with fathers to create one-of-a-kind playground sets.
Verdict: This show has a lot of potential as it taps into one of my favorite personal DIY Network vibes: the random dude who crashes into your life to renovate your backyard with plywood and attitude. However I have some small quibbles with the show. One, I liked the featured dad more than host Taylor Calmus (who sounds like an announcer from a ‘90s Nickelodeon show). Two, I would have liked more time devoted to how Calmus engineered the sick bike ramp and less to his domestic life. Sorry I wasn’t dazzled by the literal gravy train he built for his wife.

Now that we’re through the titles that I almost fell asleep watching — and hey, there’s a market for shows like that — let’s get to the Magnolia series with some actual potential. These were shows that still have some kinks that need to be worked out, but have compelling, or at least memorable, personalities attached. I think I like these shows, but I may need a full season and a bottle of rosé to be sure.

13) Mind for Design

Talent: Brian Patrick Flynn
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Half-hour
Basic Gist: Self-taught interior designer Brian Patrick Flynn takes us behind-the-scenes of one of his Instagram-ready design projects.
Verdict: Whether or not you like this show will depend entirely on whether or not Brian Patrick Flynn excites or annoys you. I still haven’t decided. And I was kind of amused to watch a show ostensibly focused on one person’s vision give so much shine to the whole team who works with him.

12) Restoration Road with Clint Harp

Talent: Clint Harp
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Hour
Basic Gist: Chip and Jo’s carpenter pal Clint Harp travels the nation to peek in at some dazzling renovation projects.
Verdict: Hey, I heard you liked wholesome dads talking about old woodgrain and oil lamps. Seriously, though, the primary charm of this show is a nerdy reverence for the craftsmanship of yesteryear. And it reminded me of how my own dad kept his tool bench cluttered with vintage carpentry tools! So I liked that part. My one tiny quibble is that while Clint Harp has definitely improved his on-camera chops over the years, he still isn’t the most dazzling personality. I think this show would benefit from — brace for it — someone for Clint to bounce off of. Maybe a plucky lady renovator? Just spitballing here.

11) Growing Floret

Talent: Erin and Chris Benzakin
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Hour
Basic Gist: Growing Floret follows Floret, a flower farm devoted to selling seeds and inspiring people to garden more.
Verdict: I’m really torn on Growing Floret. I’m sort of already obsessed with Erin Benzakin, who comes across as a sincere Heidi Gardner character, and the whole vibe of Floret. (This show seriously had me wondering if I could plant flowers.) However, the show lacks narrative tension. I found myself bored for stretches and unsure what the story was. I think that some folks will swoon for the show’s soothing vibe and others will find it rather boring. I’m curious to see what the actual show looks like!

10) Inn the Works

Talent: Lindsey Kurowski (and her three siblings, pictured above)
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Half-hour
Basic Gist: Designer Lindsey Kurowski bought a Big Bear Inn on a whim and is now renovating the whole property to be the gag-worthy ski slope getaway of her dreams. Along for the ride? Her three siblings and whichever guests had the misfortune to book their stays during the reno period.
Verdict: Inn the Works has a zippy ease to it that makes it super easy to watch. Kurowski is an inventive designer and the banter between the siblings is fun to eavesdrop in on. What will make or break this show is whether or not you find Kurowski annoying or not. I thought she was a tiny bit irritating. Just a tad. Maybe because she reminded me of myself. But, no, she grew on me by the end. This is definitely a show I could find myself wasting a weekend binging.

9) Zoe Bakes

Talent: Zoe François
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Half-hour
Basic Gist: Pastry chef and cookbook author Zoe François invites you into her home kitchen to show you how to create decadent desserts.
Verdict: Do you know what I liked about this show? Besides the fact that it’s set in a city for a change, it stars someone oozing with professional polish. A lot of the Magnolia shows seem to celebrate the self-taught creatives and home cooks. François, though, is legit. The difference is where less qualified cooks might share recipes that get me thinking more creatively in the kitchen, Zoe Bakes actually taught me techniques I didn’t know. (I’ve been using rolling pins wrong my whole life!) I watched one episode of Zoe Bakes and am confident my next pie will be better for it.

Okay, now we’re onto the good stuff! These are the shows that I would wholeheartedly recommend folks watch if they’re curious about the overall vibe of the Magnolia network. Each of these has something that gives me a tiny reservation — mostly pacing! — but the ingredients are all there for a lifestyle channel hit. That said, will I actively seek them out after a hard day’s work? Or would I need to catch a marathon by accident on the weekend to become truly obsessed? Time will tell, but I’m rooting for these shows…

8) Homegrown

Talent: Jamila Norman
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Half-hour
Basic Gist: Atlanta-based Jamila Norman helps families reconfigure their backyards into sustainable home gardens.
Verdict: I might be biased, because I love gardening shows, but I’m hoping this becomes a super hit. Right now there is a serious dearth of gardening content and Jamila Norman feels like a perfect star to fill that space. Unlike Growing Floret, which focuses on a flower business, Homegrown will give you tips to empower you to build your own patch of green. This was the very first Magnolia show I sampled and I can’t wait to see more. I’m just worried, as I am with all garden shows, that some people might find it all a bit slow.

7) The Lost Kitchen

Talent: Erin French (pictured above)
Episodes Available: 6
Length: Hour
Basic Gist: Mainer Erin French has managed to create a culinary phenomenon in an unlikely space, watch as she samples regional ingredients and teams up with her all-female crew to deliver memorable dinners.
Verdict: The Lost Kitchen is almost there for me. It’s visually beautiful, stars a really compelling personality, and celebrates the behind-the-scenes tumult that brings restaurants to life. (I also really applaud the show for continuing to follow Erin and her team during the pandemic.) My big quibble — and this is an issue a lot of these pilots have — is that they evoke the aesthetics of Netflix’s Chef’s Table without the clear narrative arc. Chef’s Table builds its sumptuous documentaries around a “hero story.” The Lost Kitchen wants us to follow an everyday story. Not as narratively grabby. But yeah, I foresee this being one of Magnolia’s most popular offerings.

6) Magnolia Table

Talent: Joanna Gaines
Episodes Available: 6
Length: Half-hour
Basic Gist: Follow Joanna Gaines into the kitchen as she shares her family’s favorite meals.
Verdict: Okay, so I was prepared to hate this, but it is surprisingly good. Magnolia Table proves once and for all that Joanna Gaines is one of the best personalities working in television. It’s not luck that has propelled her and Chip to their success, but Jo’s expert communications skills. (She has a degree in it, people.) Magnolia Table uses Jo’s lack of professional expertise as a boon and wisely opens with a dish celebrating Jo’s quarter Lebanese background. It’s insanely watchable. Case closed.

5) The Fieldhouse

Talent: Justin Bane
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Hour
Basic Gist: Justin Bane and his nutritionist/doctor wife help people make radical physical and emotional transformations in their state-of-the-art Texas gym.
Verdict: Hoo boy, this show could be controversial, but it is so damn watchable. Bane and his wife work with customers to build high-tech plans to help folks lose weight. Now obviously that could come off as fatphobic, so if weight loss stories trigger you, stay away from The Fieldhouse. If they fascinate you, though, this show is for you. The Fieldhouse does an excellent job of profiling the customers Bane is working with so you feel for them emotionally. The quirky space egg and ice bath tanks are just set dressing. What you’re really invested in is watching people discover they’re stronger, physically and mentally, than they knew. It’s like a slightly higher class TLC show, so be forewarned or hyped at your discretion.

After all that, you might be wondering are they any shows on the Discovery+ Magnolia Network preview tab worth getting excited for? Oh, yes, there are. Take it from me, a woman who sacrificed her sanity to sift through the creative visions of Chip and Joanna Gaines: Magnolia is launching with some good shit! Specifically these four titles which you should make room in your TV-viewing schedule now. From a poignant documentary about running to the next big cable breakout stars, here are the Magnolia shows I’ll still be watching even though this crazy experiment is over…

4) Fixer Upper: Welcome Home

Talent: Chip & Jo Gaines
Episodes Available: 4
Length: Hour
Basic Gist: This is basically just Fixer Upper, but Chip and Jo are helping folks who already have purchased clunkers.
Verdict: After subjecting myself to a marathon of Magnolia content, I can say with certainty that creating a hit HGTV show is hard. Fixer Upper: Welcome Home is something of a masterclass in how to do it right. Watching this show felt like easing into a warm bath while someone passed me a flute of champagne. I could relax. I could unwind. I could enjoy the ride. This show proves that Chip and Jo Gaines are titans of their crafts: flipping houses and being on TV.

3) The Courage to Run with Chip Gaines and Gabe Grunewald

Talent: Chip & Jo Gaines, Gabe Grunewald
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Hour-long special (with sequel doc)
Basic Gist: Follow the dual stories of Chip Gaines’s first ever marathon run and that of running star Gabe Grunewald as she copes with a serious cancer diagnosis.
Verdict: As someone who hates melodrama and has run a marathon, I was wary of this at first. Why would I want to watch Chip Gaines train for a marathon? And furthermore, did I really need a hokey inspirational story to shake up my day? In actuality, The Courage to Run is a rather beautiful doc about the power that running has to help us face ourselves. Chip’s marathon journey is just the framework to tell the truly moving story of Gabe Grunewald, a beautiful spirit beset with an ugly situation.

2) Van Go

Talent: Brett Lewis (pictured above)
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Half-hour
Basic Gist: Austin-native Brett Lewis helps folks trick out their vans to embrace “van life.”
Verdict: This show is what I like to call “Matt Foley Builds Your Dream Van Down By the River.” From the jump, Brett Lewis captivates you with his electric personality. Not at all self-serious, this show embraces the zany side of life, but not at the loss of creativity. Lewis truly is good at dreaming up creative van interiors for his clients and explaining his process. The fact that he’s a ready-made TV star is just icing on the cake. I want dudes in my life who don’t watch HGTV to try this show! Van Go is hilarious. It’s fun. It’s perfect.

1) Home Work

Talent: Candis and Andy Meredith
Episodes Available: 1
Length: Hour
Basic Gist: Candis and Andy Meredith balance renovating an old school into a palatial home for their blended Brady Bunch-style family while working with clients dying for a upgrade in their homes.
Verdict: They did it. Those crazy sons of bitches really did it. Chip and Joanna Gaines might have actually found the next Chip and Joanna Gaines. Though Home Work might sound like your average HGTV show, that’s actually its beauty. Candis and Andy have perfect chemistry, a really cool design aesthetic, and a quirky hook with that damn schoolhouse reno. This is the next big HGTV show, only it’s on Magnolia. (And Discovery+).

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