Bucky’s Bad Date in ‘The Falcon and The Winter Soldier’ Feels Like a Preview of My Post-Pandemic Dating Life

There’s a rumor that this summer is going to be a hot one, and I’m not talking about the heat waves caused by climate change. If America stays on track for reopening, bars will be open, families can reunite, and horned up singles can experience the modern day version of one of Caligula’s orgies. However after a year living alone in quarantine, I have to say, uh, the idea of dating scares me? So much so that I feel like all my post-pandemic dates are going to be as awkward as Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan)’s date in The Falcon and The Winter Soldier premiere.

Set six months after the events of Avengers: Endgame, The Falcon and The Winter Soldier shows us what Captain America (Chris Evans)’s two best friends have been up to since returning from the Blip. While the Falcon (Anthony Mackie) is working government contracts and struggling with loan officers, James “Bucky” Barnes is suffering through mandated therapy sessions. The 106-year-old has lived through the Great Depression, World War II, decades of working as a mind-controlled assassin, and the events of the Blip. So there’s a lot to process there. The smiling, cocksure, and flirtatious Bucky we first met in Captain America: The First Avenger has been replaced by a grim-faced, awkward man boiling in guilt and grief.

Nowhere is this change in the man more stark than when Bucky gets suckered into a date. Folks, up until the moment that our hero has to confront the fact that he murdered his new buddy’s son, everything Bucky did felt extremely familiar to me. I do feel like a 106-year-old man at times! My idea of a good time is listening to Hardcore History and not even bothering with dating apps. What Bucky says and does on his date is a physical expression how I feel on the inside when I go on dates. And holy shit, I am girding my literal loins for it to all get all the more awkward once the world re-opens.

More than anything else, Bucky’s date digs into the trauma of being the Winter Solider. Sure, by this point we’ve seen our boy James Buchanan Barnes wake up from nightmarish memories and brood in a therapist’s office. However the actual ways in which HYDRA broke Bucky maybe don’t become clear until this scene. That’s because we’ve seen the pre-Winter Solider Bucky on a date before. One of the character’s first scenes is shepherding two pretty girls, including one played by Jenna Coleman, to the World’s Fair. Steve is ostensibly supposed to be on a double date with them, but the girls really only have eyes for Bucky. And Bucky is charm incarnate.

Now, though, Bucky is sheepish in the presence of a pretty girl. Part of it is he’s overwhelmed, like Steve was, by how much the world has changed. However the deeper issue is that simple personal questions scratch at the itch of his trauma. His family is long dead, he has to wear gloves to cover his vibranium murder arm, and even his friendships are rooted in a desire to atone for past sins.

Obviously I have never experienced what the Winter Soldier has, but I do find my own trauma is often exposed on first dates. Simple questions about my parents or friendships can lead to tragic admissions. Adding a full year of living alone and experiencing a pandemic is bound to make small talk even more difficult. So, sure, I’ve never been an ageless brain-washed assassin, but I get where Bucky is coming from in this scene all the way.

For many folks, post-pandemic dating will be a thrill ride, but for others, like myself and Bucky, it’s going to look like that awkward Battleship game and too many beers. It’s not that we don’t want to have fun, flirt, or make a connection, but that getting on intimate terms with another person demands vulnerability. Like Bucky Barnes in The Falcon and The Winter Soldier, opening up could make some of us feel on the verge of shattering.

Where to stream The Falcon and The Winter Soldier