Bravo Comes Around on Egg Freezing With ‘Family Karma’

In 2018, Tinsley Mortimer looked at a picture of her frozen eggs on a phone screen and weepily declared, “My babies!” as her mother sobbed next to her. It didn’t help that Mortimer was also wearing a wedding dress during this Real Housewives of New York City moment (and with no actual plans for a wedding on the horizon), but much like the rest of this show, it was played for laughs, or at least a way to say, look how ridiculous and outrageous these women can be. Sure, yes, often. But this moment didn’t just have to be about silliness; it should’ve come with a lot more support and acknowledgment for Mortimer and all the women around the world that have made the difficult financial, physical, and emotional decision to freeze their eggs. I, however, didn’t realize this until I went through it earlier this year.

Before I made the decision to stick several needles full of hormones into my body, I hadn’t seriously considered the procedure. As a single woman in my 30’s, I still don’t know exactly what I want and was in a “welp, if it’s meant to be it will be” mindset. I still mostly am, but in this case, a little extra action certainly comes in handy.

It’s unsurprising that the pandemic has motivated many women to seek out this option, or at least more information about it. While some are rightfully stopped in their tracks by the average price tag of $10-15,000, the procedure is still gaining more popularity each year. According to a Time article from January, “In 2009, just 475 women froze their eggs, according to the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology. By 2018, 13,275 women did so, an increase of 2,695%.”

However, it’s still a relatively new procedure, and it wasn’t until a friend of mine went through it that I looked into my options and realized, due to insurance coverage, it could be a possibility for me. Up until that point, I’d heard that it was discussed on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, but honestly, sorting through those episodes to watch them go through it sounds harder than actually just doing it. People such as Chrissy Teigen and Amy Schumer had been very vocal about their adventures in egg freezing as well, but there was one surprising place where this procedure had hardly been highlighted at all.

On my preferred network of choice Bravo, I’d seen the Mortimer episode, as well as Scheana Shay on Vanderpump Rules earn just about an eye roll from those around her while she went through with freezing her eggs (hello, it was throwing a wrench in their social plans if she couldn’t show up to drink and participate in drama!). There was also a brief mention from Danni Baird on Southern Charm last season as she sold a former engagement ring to pay for the procedure. Many of the Real Housewives have aged out of the eligibility for this, but considering the women most likely to go through this procedure are squarely in the demo of the network, it was strange that more hadn’t been done to explain, support, and encourage this fertility journey.

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However, Bravo is now not only finally portraying egg freezing on a show, they’re doing it the right way. Enter 36-year-old Anisha Ramakrishna, who will take viewers on her journey, with the added bonus of a unique cultural perspective, throughout Season 2 of Family Karma which premieres Wednesday, June 2nd at 9 pm ET/PT on Bravo. We spoke over Zoom recently as she walked me through her experience and I nodded along, finally finding a TV friend I could relate to.

“There is a particular auntie who has been telling me to do this for the past three to four years,” Anisha explained when I asked how this came to be for her. “She was like, can you just please freeze your eggs? Because in her own personal experience, she was 36, not married, and then when she did get married, she did have some difficulty having a child. Now she has three and they’re all from the eggs that she froze when she was in her early 30s. I always kind of ignored her because three to four years ago, I never thought I’d be not married, or at least with someone significant that I’d be wanting to have a child with.”

The catalyst for Anisha was when she turned 36 in September, during the filming of Family Karma, and was staying with a friend that was embarking on the journey. “She had just started the process during my birthday week and so I went with her because we barely read about it or hear about it because no one really talks about it. This is all very new, even the science. People that did do this 10 years ago, they’ve paved the way for us.”

Anisha admits that part of the reason she started to consider it seriously was the peer pressure, now that a friend she admired was on the path. “I didn’t listen to the auntie that was telling me for four years, but I listened to my friend. I finally just made the appointment and that first consultation was a huge slap in the face because it was reality. On the show and in my life, I’m like, ‘I’m a power bitch. Everything works out for me. LOA, law of attraction. I’m going to manifest everything, you can have it all.’ The doctor was like, actually, you might not. It was devastating.”

Anisha met with Dr. Michael Jacobs in Miami, FL, who she immediately liked, because “He’s one of the best in the country and he doesn’t sugarcoat anything. He’s working with this sensitive topic, a lot of people are also going to him for IVF, which is going all the way to have the child, and sometimes that doesn’t work out. So he’s not in the business of entertainment. He is there to give you cold, hard facts. He’s like, if you’re gonna do it now, this is the time. And then I learned so much.”

The consultation usually consists of the doctor walking you through the science of oocyte cryopreservation, including what the medicines throughout the process do to your body, what the retrieval entails, and what happens afterward. It’s the first step in the in vitro fertilization process, so some women freeze their eggs already mixed with their partner or a donor’s sperm as embryos, though for many single women, the eggs are frozen alone to someday be thawed and then mixed with sperm, if and when they choose to have a child.

The initial consultation also consists of a meeting with nurses who can answer any questions and administer the first ultrasound of your ovaries, as well as take a blood sample to check your hormone levels and determine if you are an ideal candidate for the procedure. I also advise people to listen to the excellent Freezing Time podcast by writer Sophia Money-Coutts, who details the entire process as she went through it last year in England. While a few details are different across the pond, so many of the physical and emotional responses her body had were incredibly relatable and universal, not to mention the eye-opening and educational aspects of so many of the episodes.

Because it’s not just a physical journey. It’s incredibly emotional as well. I was unprepared for the amount of questions this brought on, mostly from myself, but sometimes from others. It feels as though you have to make a lot of decisions for yourself and your life, when really, the whole point of doing this is to… put that off and avoid those questions right now!

However, for Anisha, the hardest part was the immediacy. She felt like her “time is running out and I never felt like that before. Fortunately, or unfortunately, freezing my eggs made me think about all those things that I avoid, suppress, or don’t care about. The possibility of not having [kids] is what scared me.” It also made her realize that children are something she wants someday, but admits going through this process as a single woman was “tough.”

Because yes, it’s a big physical endeavor as well. The process in the United States right now involves administering shots in the morning and night to achieve the precise levels of hormones and physical reaction required to retrieve a sufficient amount of healthy eggs. Patients go back every other day or so for monitoring throughout the approximately two-week process, which concludes with the brief procedure of retrieving the eggs. Some doctors will show patients how to do the shots at the start, while others simply supply them with a series of instructional videos they can watch before (and often during) the process.

“The process itself truly wasn’t as invasive as I had assumed it would be,” Danni told me via email, as she did it once the Southern Charm season had wrapped. “The thought of having to give myself injections made me hesitant at first, but the needles are so small you can hardly feel them. The hormones from the injections actually made my hair incredibly healthy and grow like a weed. No complaints there.”

In the trailer for this season, Anisha is seen receiving the shot from her mom, while plenty of single women get used to doing it all on their own. “Luckily, my best friend who did this two weeks before me, came over and showed me and my mom exactly what needs to be done, because [if they show you] when you’re at the hospital, it’s a blur,” Anisha said. “But I learn by doing. So what you see is actually one of the first shots my mom’s giving me and I’m the biggest baby. But I’m also very practical. So I say, if I can get Botox, I can do this. This is so important. My mom was there to help me, but towards the end, I was doing it myself. I was just very careful and I bruise easily, but it was rough. You’re like, Am I doing this right? Like, how are they letting me do this?”

And it’s not only Anisha who was confused by it all, but also those around her, especially those that share her Indian heritage. While she teased that we’ll see how her friends and family reacted to her big step this season, she also said, “There’s a lot of guys, there’s a lot of bros on my show. But forget the guys, even my own mother. She’s a woman, she’s had three kids, except she didn’t understand. She’s like, scrambled, fried? My own mother was like, why are you doing this?”

However (and luckily as it is not the case with all women), Anisha said of her family, “Everyone’s always supportive. I’d say in all cultures, this is fairly new, so they’re supportive, but they also don’t get it. So when people don’t understand something, I know we resort to humor, right? And that’s what’s great about our show. It’s so funny, but sometimes it’s a serious topic and you’re having an internal meltdown that you’re freezing your eggs.”

She also felt supported by the Family Karma production team as well, letting them into much of the process, with the exception of the actual retrieval because it’s a medical procedure. “I knew they would do it the Bravo way,” she said. “At the end of the day, it’s classy and a little trashy, just the way I am. But we keep it classy, right? Because it’s my health, it’s a medical topic. This isn’t Only Fans. Only Fans egg-freezing edition.”

And while it would be great to spread this message to an Only Fans-level of people, Anisha and I are both hopeful other women become aware that this option does exist. Start your research today! More and more companies are teaming with programs such as Progyny or Carrot to provide this option to their employees, which has become a major perk for companies hoping to attract top talent. “I’ve inspired or spoken to many friends, and they’re all on board,” Anisha shared, while also adding that other friends can be, “Very c’est la vie, it is what it is,” which she used to consider herself as well. “Then one day, you might want a child and you actually won’t be able to have your own if you want your own. There are other options, obviously, but I encourage women to freeze their eggs because you don’t know, your mind is going to change. Mine did.”

But she stands firm in feeling proud of the decision she made to freeze her eggs, despite it being a rough process. “At the end of the day, it’s you, it’s your body, and you’re getting the medicine injected in you, you’re going through the retrieval process. It’s very lonely. To be in the pandemic, as well, it’s not like I could go out and have a little to-do after. So I just felt like, I’m alone in my room, and I’m freezing my eggs. There’s only so much about it also that you want to share, because you don’t want to bring other people down.”

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Danni had a more positive outlook on the process saying, “Even if you may feel like you are in a committed relationship and don’t need to consider freezing your eggs, I can’t express the level of security and satisfaction you’ll have once you wrap up the process. It’s an empowering insurance policy.”

“I’m happy to see more women with a platform freezing their eggs and being so open about it,” Scheana said via email. “It was an amazing experience for me, so much that I did it twice. You never know what will happen in the future and having my eggs frozen is the best backup plan. I encourage more women to check their fertility and freeze their eggs to remove the pressure of starting a family by a certain age if you haven’t found the right person.”

Each morning I would sit in the doctor’s office, I would be angry that the waiting room was packed with women facing fertility issues, or that I could’ve been spending this money on a trip to Australia, something I know I’ve always wanted to do, versus paying for something…I don’t even know if I will want. But as Anisha bluntly reminded me, “Australia will be there. The eggs will not.”

As Danni said, “It’s expensive, yes, but the earlier you start considering it, the better. Many companies nowadays are even contributing financially through employee health benefits which is incredible. I wish that had been an option for me. I chose to sell my former engagement ring to pay for it. To each his (or, should I say HER) own.”

Anisha also added the reminder that “There are financial plans, there’s a type of Klarna and Afterpay. If you want the Chanel bag, you can also get the eggs and pay monthly.”

She was being playful but serious, before continuing, “Look, we all go shopping. We all go on vacations. A lot of people have this misconception that my parents pay for everything. No, I buy my own toothpaste. I live with my family, but they don’t pay for anything and they shouldn’t. I’m a grown-up adult and that was a tough decision, because we all are so quick to pay for a trip, but we don’t want to pay for freezing our eggs.”

And while her fashion business and fertility journey will be documented throughout the second season, Anisha also said, “I’m so excited for everyone on my show because all of us have such unique stories and that’s what I love about Family Karma,” which highlights perspectives from several generations of families.

Before we wrapped up our Zoom chat of swapping stories and nodding along as the other spoke, Anisha was sure to say, “Congratulations to you for doing it as well,” a sentiment that made me, and likely others, laugh at first. But it’s the right thing to say to a friend (and also yourself!) that makes this decision and takes this step for themselves. It’s not a ring or a baby or even a practice that widely understood just yet, but with the bravery of people like Anisha sharing it with the world, it soon could (and should!) be celebrated just as much.

Stream Family Karma on Bravo Now