I Love When The Real Housewives Get Real Raunchy With Sex Talk

Avert your eyes, Ramona! You’re not gonna like this one. Because I love it when the Real Housewives get real raunchy.

Before this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York City devolved into the inevitable race argument we all knew would be coming, most of the fighting was over the discussion of sex. I could say it started during last week’s episode when important topics such as eating ass, the ratio of ball to dick size, and sex positions were all brought up at the dinner table during a Breakfast at Tiffany’s-themed party, but on RHONY, does the sex talk ever really stop? Certainly not when the show’s at its best.

But Ramona Singer was so distraught she had to leave the dinner table and say in her interview, “I think Leah doesn’t have a lot to talk about other than sex. It’s pretty sad, isn’t it?” Nope! That statement is wayyyy sadder, my friend. Because Leah McSweeney was right when she declared, “If Ramona was just honest about how into sex she was and how she’s just constantly on the prowl for dick, she’d be sex positive too. Because I know for a fact this woman is getting laid more than all of the women combined.” And good for her!

So why was Ramona so disturbed when Eboni Williams said, “I just heard you say you could take a big dick,” prompting her to not only leave the table, but ascend the stairs ranting about “elegance and class”? The next morning, she’s still not over it and asks Sonja Morgan, “I don’t know why when we get together everyone has to talk about penises. What is it about the penises?” This, on the morning when that day’s only activity was…painting a penis.

Leah also says, “Ramona loves dick! She may not like the word ‘dick’, but she likes actual dick.” We do know this to be true because when tasked with drawing the nude model, Ramona drew his penis and only his penis. Couldn’t be bothered to give him a head or a torso or legs. Just a dick.

She’s targeting Leah, who yes, can be outspoken, but is she really one to talk about sex more than someone such as Sonja Morgan? (Who does defend Leah by telling Ramona, “Why can’t she just be herself?” despite Ramona wishing for Leah to edit her language.) Leah, and all women, please hear me loud and clear when I say: talk about sex where, when, and how much as you want. In fact, it’s one of my favorite things that the Real Housewives do. Not even as a “men do it so women can too!” thing. This is simply: I love it and it’s fun as hell.

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Like Golden Girls and Sex And The City before them, audiences love to hear women discuss their personal lives. It’s one of the reasons RHONY has certainly remained one of the most fun cities in the Real Housewives franchise, and really, why Sonja Morgan is an irreplaceable part of this show. Maybe it is a New York thing, to talk so freely about sex, but I promise it’s one that keeps viewers coming to this show.

As we’ve seen across the country, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills can be awfully buttoned up when it comes to their sex lives. It’s what made Denise Richards such an exciting addition to the cast, as she couldn’t shut up about her husband’s big penis, happy endings, and other acts for which she had no shame in participating in, nor discussing with her friends. Similarly, The Real Housewives of Orange County has cast members such as Kelly Dodd who continually talk about how much sex they are having, as well as those such as Vicki Gunvalson who plug their ears and can’t possibly let that type of depraved information anywhere near their pure heads. Yeah right.

Because here’s the thing that Leah expertly brought to light: it is about the hypocrisy. Many of these women not only claim to be conservative when it comes to sex talk, but in their politics as well. Luann tying it to Christian values is ridiculous. If we’re talking manners, it’s one thing if you’re keeping esteemed company, sure, maybe you wouldn’t bring up ball size if the Queen of England was perched at the head of the table. But when it’s your girlfriends? It should 100% be a safe space. One could argue that the Queen could be watching this show and in that case a)great taste, Liz, and b) then she can turn it off if she finds it is not her cup of tea.

Plus, nearly all of these conversations are voluntary. There is no peer pressure about sharing your favorite positions, it’s simply offered up by those that want to share and, bless them, overshare. If you don’t want to discuss your own sex life, that is 100% your prerogative. But don’t shame others for wanting to talk about that aspect of their life with their friends. We’ve all been at a brunch where some are really going there, while we may sit wide-eyed and taking it all in, and others when we are the Samantha Jones of the table.

The sex talk is just another aspect of these women’s lives that provides even more insight into who they are and why we find them fascinating enough to watch on a weekly basis. If you’re going to flaunt your expensive purchases, please also flaunt your active sex life. There is something aspirational about women that are living well-rounded lives: running businesses and households by day and the bedroom by night. Plus, as women (mostly) past their reproductive age, it’s even more fun to know their freaky side is still flourishing. It is not uncommon for these women to be in fantastic physical shape, so whether it’s their partners or a random from the Regency, there is no reason these women shouldn’t be having a fulfilling sex life. Tell us about it! If we have to hear about your clothing line, then tell us about what happens in your birthday suit as well.

I don’t mean this in a pervy way at all, as I actually find it to be quite progressive. For so long, women were expected to be prim and proper, so we’re well past due to discuss dicks. Because guess what: it was men that expected women to be polite. In many ways, the Real Housewives have thrown that notion out the window and off the table, and talking about sex should be just another way they break the stereotypes expected of women — and of women their age. Plus, it breaks up the mundane interpersonal drama that, quite frankly, we’ve seen before. Not to mention, most of their discussions are really a celebration of penises and sex, of knowing what they want, feeling good about their bodies, and enjoying their lives. So to the Real Housewives, I have to say: don’t be a dick, but please do talk about them.

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