Ricky Martin Recalls Feeling “Afraid,” “Violated” When Barbara Walters Asked About His Sexuality: “I Was Just Not Ready to Come Out”

Ricky Martin revealed that he still feels “a little PTSD” decades after his infamous TV interview with Barbara Walters. The segment, which aired in 2000, included an uncomfortable and tense exchange between the ABC anchor and the pop star in which Walters pushed Martin to clarify rumors about his sexuality and come out on national television.

“You could stop these rumors,” Walters told Martin at the time. “You could say, ‘Yes I am gay, or no I’m not.'” In response, Martin told Walters, “I just don’t feel like it.” While he came out as gay in 2010, Martin told People he still thinks about the interview today. “When she dropped the question, I felt violated because I was just not ready to come out. I was very afraid.” He added, “There’s a little PTSD with that.”

Martin said if he could have a second chance and do things differently now, he may have come out in the interview. “It would’ve been great because when I came out, it just felt amazing. When it comes to my sexuality, when it comes to who I am, I want to talk about what I’m made of, about everything that I am,” he said. “Because if you hide it, it’s a life-or-death situation.”

Martin came out publicly on his website in 2010. Since then, he’s gone on to marry artist Jwan Yosef, but he looked back on dating “lots of women” for years, telling People, “Sexuality is one complicated thing. It’s not black and white. It’s filled with colors. When I was dating women, I was in love with women. It felt right, it felt beautiful. You can’t fake chemistry —the chemistry was there with them. I wasn’t misleading anyone.”

The same year Martin came out as gay, Walters told The Toronto Star she regretted how she handled her interview with the singer. “In 2000, I pushed Ricky Martin very hard to admit if he was gay or not, and the way he refused to do it made everyone decide that he was,” she said. “A lot of people say that destroyed his career, and when I think back on it now I feel it was an inappropriate question.”

Read Martin’s full interview on the People website.