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The Biggest Loser
The Biggest Loser trainer Erica Lugo revealed she was “sick” while helping contestants on the weight loss competition show, struggling with an eating disorder that made her “mentally and emotionally miserable,” People reports. Lugo opened up about her struggle in a lengthy Instagram post yesterday (June 24) detailing some of her lowest points on the show.
“Years ago when you saw me on TV. I was sick. I was mentally and emotionally miserable,” Lugo began. “Physically my body was going down the wrong path even though it was celebrated for being ‘small.'”
She continued, “I did everything in my power to remain ‘tiny,'” adding, “I restricted food, I thought about binging and purging and to completely honest I did, YEARS AGO. I would sit in the bathroom while filming and cry. Cry for hours bc the eating disorder thoughts kept telling me ‘just purge, it’ll help keep you thin.'”
Looking back on one memory on the Biggest Loser set, Lugo recalled her makeup artist asking if she hadn’t slept well because her eyes were puffy that morning. “I lied and told her I tossed and turned all night when in reality, I sat in the bathroom with my knees tucked to my chest crying and stopping myself from purging,” Lugo wrote. “Up until the very minute I had to leave for set the next morning. Yes. I sat in that bathroom for over 10 hours. I never did purge but those thoughts came rushing back from my past.”
https://www.instagram.com/p/CQbrmWxMNhQ/
The Biggest Loser trainer, who previously lost 160 pounds through diet and exercise, said she struggled when Covid hit and while filming the show. “After filming and getting stuck in lockdown I told myself I am getting help again,” she wrote.
While Lugo said she wanted “to break the ‘trainer’ mold of having to fit into a certain size,” she once again felt “the old mentality and eating disorder thoughts.” Although she admitted she “no longer wanted to be a prisoner to food thoughts,” Lugo said she was “in denail” of needing help during lockdown. “I knew I needed it but did I REALLY? I came clean to my husband and told him about my past struggles and that I was fearful I was going to go down that path again. That I was scared of living a life of always wanting and chasing ‘being tiny,'” she wrote.
Lugo looked back on 2020 as “a year of coming to reality with myself,” while she sees 2021 as “a year of getting professional help.” Since reaching out for help with her eating disorder, Lugo said she’s gained back some weight and is working on accepting her body. “To the woman (and men) who struggle in silence. I feel you. I understand you,” she wrote. “The world doesn’t understand internal struggles and it’s up to us to seek help to cope. There is a way out. There is help. You are stronger than your ED even when you feel you aren’t.”
