Stream It or Skip It: ‘Mary J. Blige’s My Life’ on Amazon Prime, Which Reflects On The Pain And Promise Of A Powerful Record

Filmmaker Vanessa Roth, who won an Academy Award for her 2007 documentary Freeheld, helms this tribute to and celebration of Mary J. Blige’s landmark 1994 album My Life, which finds the multiple Grammy award-winning singer and songwriter reflecting on the record, how it was made, her struggles with wellness and addiction that informed its lyrics, and its legacy for her worldwide fan base.

MARY J. BLIGE’S MY LIFE: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: “I’ve done pretty much everything that I’ve always wanted to do,” Mary J. Blige says early on in My Life. “But success comes when you’re successful inside. And for a long time, I didn’t know I was successful outside because I was a wreck inside.” The veteran singer, songwriter, and performer, who first made waves in 1992 with the pioneering synthesis of R&B vocals and hip-hop rhythms of her debut album What’s the 411?, found herself in the clutches of clinical depression and alcohol and drug addiction as it came time to create her follow-up, and that adversity fueled what became the Grammy-nominated, three times Platinum 1994 album My Life. As Blige and those involved in the making of the album look back, she performs its representative tracks at anniversary shows in California and New York City. My Life also utilizes 2-D imagery and animation as it traces MJB’s journey from the Schlobohm Housing Projects in Yonkers to international success, and includes testimonials from notables such as Taraji P. Henson, Sean “Puffy” Combs, Nas, Method Man, Alicia Keys, and Tyler Perry.

“Ghetto Fabulous” was the name for Blige’s powerful style when she took the airwaves by storm with “Real Love” in 1992, and industry folks and listeners alike speak to that expression. “That hat to the back and the combat boots with the tennis skirt — she was our urban girl, a hood role model!” a longtime fan gushes. “We wanted to be just like her.” But while she was strident in her career, Blige suffered from clinical depression, self-medicated with alcohol and cocaine, and felt trapped in an abusive relationship with K-Ci Hailey of Jodeci fame. Born of this pain, My Life became her worldwide breakthrough. But it took Blige decades to discover her own truth and happiness.

As the crucible that the material from My Life represents for Blige becomes more apparent, the doc shifts more weight toward the contemporary performances of the album, concerts that find the singer bringing down the house at the Hollywood Bowl and Barclays Center. (And at the latter, while rocking a phenomenal red sequin outfit and matching floating brim hat.) “Let it burn!” she sings over and over, and as the Bowl’s stage becomes alight with flames, the songs feel like a transformative ritual for Blige and her legions of fans.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of? The struggle to define one’s inner self even as outward success arrives, and to put those thoughts to pad and paper even as peace gets harder to find are hallmarks of Demi Lovato’s recent documentary series Dancing With the Devil. And while MCs like Scarface and 2Pac made lyrical art from musing over mortality, mental impairment, and fatalism, it’s films like 2005’s The Devil and Johnston or 2020’s Orchestrating Change that My Life also suggests, documentaries that explore music’s relationship with artists struggling with different forms of mental illness.

Performance Worth Watching: Pioneering music executive Andre Harrell signed Mary J. Blige to his Uptown Records imprint in 1988, and ferried the fledgling singer’s career into widespread success with the aid of his mentee, Sean “Puffy” Combs. Harrell’s unexpected death in May 2020 at age 59 lends poignance to his sit-down interviews for My Life, which are full of gallant turns of phrase and colorful anecdotes. The film ends with a touching tribute to him from Blige, who calls herself forever his daughter.

Memorable Dialogue: Late in My Life, Taraji P. Henson articulates what Mary J. Blige’s journey as an artist and songwriter means to herself and so many others, particularly women and women of color. “To have the world tell you you ain’t shit, and then to rise up out of that and prove that I matter, that my story means something, that my story is impactful,” she says. “And no, I didn’t go to Harvard. But I still have a story to tell that’s gonna change someone’s life.”

Sex and Skin: Nothing here.

Our Take: The battles with deep depression and substance abuse that brought out some of the best work of her career is a narrative that’s remained central to Mary J. Blige’s public persona as a recording artist and iconic performer. But while My Life doesn’t tell a new story, it reveals the singer’s point of view on her struggles and successes with immersive reach and real candor. With individuals like Henson on one hand lauding the album and Blige — “She gave us a face, gave us a name; she humanized us” — on the other there’s MJB describing where her head was as she was submerged in the trappings of fame and millions of units moved. “It was kinda like, what is this? I’m afraid of it anyway, whatever it is, I’m fucking scared to death of it. I’m scared to death of myself.” It’s in these moments, too, that Roth cuts to animated sequences that explore the singer’s childhood, upbringing in a violent environment, and the storm of depression that tormented her inner life. Taken together, it’s a robust portrayal of the artist’s 50 years on this earth — where she was, what she became, and why a record like My Life still resonates for herself and so many others. “The empowerment it gave us to tell the truth,” Combs says, “that changed our lives.”

While it does include some cool bits and pieces of footage from 1993 and ‘94 and the recording sessions for My Life, the doc’s focus stays mostly in the present, and on the recollections of Blige, Combs and other principals like producer Chucky Thompson and songwriter Big Bub. It’s telling that memory is so key to the story, since it’s Blige’s torturous inner life that was and is the album’s subject. Mary J. Blige’s My Life becomes just that; it mines her soul for the jewels of freedom and happiness that every aspires to discover.

Our Call: STREAM IT. Mary J. Blige’s My Life celebrates the lasting influence of an incredible album. But like a sticker on the outside of a double-vinyl sleeve, it also stamps the singer and songwriter’s profound struggle for wellness on the document.

Johnny Loftus is an independent writer and editor living at large in Chicagoland. His work has appeared in The Village Voice, All Music Guide, Pitchfork Media, and Nicki Swift. Follow him on Twitter: @glennganges

Watch Mary J. Blige's My Life on Amazon Prime Video