Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Heartbreak Island’ On discovery+, An Australian Dating Show Where Contestants Head To Fiji To Find Love

Oh, love. The pursuit of which is the basis for many a popular reality show. We’ve watched many suitors vie for one heart on series like the The Bachelorette, couples fall in love without seeing one another on Love is Blind, and contestants try to keep it in their pants to win some cash on Too Hot to Handle. Heartbreak Island, now streaming on discovery+, once again puts love (and cash) on the line for 16 hopeful contestants from Australia and New Zealand. 

HEARTBREAK ISLAND: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

Opening Shot: Turquoise waves crash on a serene beach.

The Gist: Welcome to Heartbreak Island, where 8 men and 8 women are arriving in the hopes that they might find love (and win $100,000) by the time all this is over. “The love of our lives is just a swipe away,” the hosts tell us, and here, they look to bring online dating offline. The contestants have selected a first, second, and reserve choice of the opposite sex based only on a profile that includes a few photos and a bio. Once they’ve met, they can’t change their choices – the pairs are matched based on their popularity rankings and the choices they made prior to arriving. While some of the couples are delighted by their pairings, the contestants with lower rankings are a little less than thrilled.

After the couples are matched, they’re sent off to their first challenge – bobbing for diamonds. Yup, you read that right. The pairs are handcuffed to one another and have to stick their faces into a tub to retrieve little bags of fake diamonds with their teeth in the hopes of winning some $5,000 worth of real diamonds if they finish first. The winning couple ends up with 12 diamonds in total, much to the disappointment of the other competitors. As the pilot comes to an end, the couples are given their room keys – rooms with beds they have to share with their new partners. This might be exciting for some, but for others, sharing a bed with “a rando” is not what they had in mind.

What Shows Will It Remind You Of? Heartbreak Island will definitely bring to mind other series like Love Island, Too Hot To Handle, Love is Blind, The Circle, and even Survivor at times.

Our Take: I have seen a lot of dating shows in my day, but none that I had to double-check wasn’t a Saturday Night Live sketch within the first few minutes like I did for Heartbreak Island. The editing, the cheesy green-screen background they put the contestants in front of when they’re introducing themselves, all of it… it feels beyond parody. I can get behind a cheesy reality show any day – seriously, give me ALL the drama – but I just wasn’t really able to get past how silly it all felt. I kept waiting for the punchline, wondering how long they might be able to keep the joke going. But somehow, Heartbreak Island is very real (even if its relationships aren’t).

To add insult to injury, Heartbreak Island also bordered on mean-spirited; pairing the couples by popularity is one thing, but announcing the people who weren’t picked by anyone and later poking fun at women like Gennady (who is labeled a catfish after the men who chose her prior to meeting her realize she doesn’t quite resemble her photos), feel like cheap shots. Plenty of people will be fine with this – especially lovers of dating shows and reality in general – because it’s often the nature of the genre. Obviously, these shows can’t survive without a good dose of drama and bitchiness, but the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth.

Sex and Skin: Lots of hot Aussies in swimwear, but not much else going on here.

Parting Shot: Georgia gives a knowing look as we hear Weiting say “what the F is going on?”

Most Pilot-y Line: There are some truly hilarious intro lines from the cast members, but the most eye roll-inducing, pilot-y line definitely goes to “It ain’t called Heartbreak Island for nothing.”

Our Call: SKIP IT. While lovers of dating shows may get a kick out of it, Heartbreak Island‘s editing borders on parody and its premise is too tired to earn the show a place in our already packed queues.

Jade Budowski is a freelance writer with a knack for ruining punchlines, hogging the mic at karaoke, and thirst-tweeting. Follow her on Twitter: @jadebudowski.

Watch Heartbreak Island on Discovery+