Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Naked Singularity’ on VOD, a Sci-Fi/Crime/Comedy Mishmash That Squanders John Boyega and Olivia Cooke

Naked Singularity — now on VOD — is a coagulation of many different things that hopes to be a thing of its very own: An acclaimed 678-page novel by Sergio De La Pava becomes a 93-minute film blending sci-fi, comedy, legal drama and heist-thriller elements, from It screenwriter and first-time director Chase Palmer, starring exquisite young talents John Boyega and Olivia Cooke. Sound promising? Or just problematic?

NAKED SINGULARITY: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: Casi (Boyega) speaks in voiceover: He’s a public defender in the U.S. criminal justice system, which is utterly hopeless, a thing offering 15,000 defenders for the 10.5 million people arrested, many of whom become forever stuck in its legal feedback loop. Casi is an idealist, but he muses, “What if reality isn’t fixed? What if you can shape it?”, a query punctuated by some words placed at the bottom of the screen by an omniscient writer of cryptic subtitles: “12 days until the collapse.” So what we’re about to see doesn’t really matter? Or it really really REALLY matters? I’m betting on the latter.

Anyway, Casi is maybe second-guessing his career track as he verbally quarrels with a pointlessly hard-assed judge (oh, hi there, Linda Lavin!) about his client, who’s charged with selling batteries without a license. This is his job, his life, and all he can do is eyeball a personal injury lawyer ad as he faces a contempt-of-court complaint, or listen to his wacko neighbor (Tim Blake Nelson) jabber on somewhat convincingly about the singularity in terms of a star turning into a black hole and not the A.I. singularity, or practice jiu jitsu and have drinks with his buddy and fellow public defender Dane (BIll Skarsgard), who’s far more, shall we say, morally flexible.

Meanwhile, somewhere else in New York City, Lea (Cooke), who’s heavy of manicure and eternally tightly pantsed, toils as a paper-pushing window jockey at the impound lot. A sleazy but chiseled fella, Craig (Ed Skrein), tries to bribe her to release his giant ugly luxury SUV, and he also hits on her, and she treats him like the skidmark he is. That night she runs across him on a dating app and impulsively swipes right and he comes to her apartment and then there’s a city-wide blackout, two events that probably aren’t linked, but who’s to say they’re NOT, I ask? Huh? Huh? I’m only ASKING QUESTIONS here!

Anyway, Lea is a former client of Casi’s, and they end up in the same room together, again, and it’s not good. “Muling for a sketchy boyfriend again?” Casi asks, and the dart hits not on the bullseye but, like, right on the other side of the line. Craig talked her into fetching the Mexican cartel’s $15 million heroin stash out of the giant ugly luxury SUV, and she got busted, and now she needs help, like REALLY needs it. So Casi helps her arrange a deal with the cops that’ll result in a huge bust and her release, yet that isn’t but, I dunno, I’m going to estimate 37 percent of the plot, because that damned subtitle keeps counting down, and more blackouts keep happening, and there’s a scene in which Casi levitates an inch off the ground and everyone seems to notice it but nobody says anything about it. What gives? I think reality itself may be in more trouble than anyone else here.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: If the Coen Brothers half-assed a Philip K. Dick adaptation — something like A Serious Man jumbled up with The Adjustment Bureau — you’d get Naked Singularity.

Performance Worth Watching: Notably, Boyega is stuck playing an empty conduit of a character here, so that’s disappointing. But Cooke enjoys an opportunity to draw us into her character’s world enough that it’s easy to appreciate her efforts, which are considerable since she’s forced to participate in the wheezy old cliche of a scene in which two people get to know each other better by talking about their bodily scars while in a post-coital state.

Memorable Dialogue: “This is some Popeye Doyle-level shit,” one of the detectives says, assuring that the movie takes place in a universe where The French Connection is also a classic, instead of one where it isn’t.

Sex and Skin: There’s not NAKED SIN on screen in Naked Singularity, so, TBMTOTAQASTSUAF: Too Busy Metaphysically Tripping Over Those Annoying Quasi-Apocalyptic Subtitles To Show Us Anyone F—ing.

Our Take: There’s suggestiveness and there’s vagueness and Naked Singularity leans heavily in the latter’s direction. The movie only grazes the surface of its potential, taking a talented cast and a reasonably quick-witted script and dropping them in an oddball premise that’s mostly just the usual stuff with a light sprinkling of poorly realized science fiction on top. It’s likeable stuff, crisply edited, enjoyably acted, amusing in tone, inevitably and entertainingly twisting through some familiar tropes on its way to becoming a heist plot that’s as goofy as it is dangerous. Too bad none of it congeals into something memorable or meaningful.

Let’s take a quick inventory: You’ve got the lawyer whose romanticized idea of justice is being beaten down with reality, his cynical and selfish lawyer pal, the woman who’s made some bad decisions and is trying to dig herself out of a hole, the crook who thinks the Queen of England is secretly a lizard person and the dopesmoking nutjob who gets two or three scenes in which to share his wacky theories about life and the universe and everything — and hey, the fabric of space-time is about to be ripped asunder beneath their very feet, or maybe reality is sentient and effing with them, or maybe alternate branching universes in which they make different decisions do indeed exist, or whatever. Unfortunately, the movie opts for whatever.

Our Call: Naked Singularity is worth a smirk or two but is ultimately a blown opportunity. SKIP IT.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Read more of his work at johnserbaatlarge.com or follow him on Twitter: @johnserba.

Where to stream Naked Singularity