‘Succession’ Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: “Retired Janitors Of Idaho”

Some episodes of Succession take place in relatively few settings and exist primarily to showcase bitterly abusive Roy family infighting. Some take us inside the world of the ultra-wealthy to expose their luxurious lifestyles. And some — “Which Side Are You On?” in Season 1; “Safe Room” in Season 2 — have the frantic tension of a heist film. “Retired Janitors Of Idaho” falls into this last category, and it made me scream out loud about 17 times.

Right from the cold open, we see the effects of “Lion In The Meadow”‘s exertions: Logan’s wearing a walking cast and growling at his assistant Kerry that he “might need a piss.” The rest of the top team is focused on the stalemated negotiations with Sandy and Stewy — today is the shareholders’ meeting, and if the two sides can’t agree to terms, control of the company will be determined by shareholders’ votes…in just a few hours. But Logan is still talking about the DOJ investigation and whether they can eke out a win by getting presidential concessions on it. In just a few hours.

Since no one on Team Logan seems confident about his strategy, it’s fortunate that Kendall has reminded Stewy of the $50 million he will have wasted if the negotiations fail, and Stewy summons Gerri, Karl, Shiv, and Roman to meet with Sandi and Sandy. This is the first time we’ve seen Sandy this season — he was audible on the phone in “Mass In Time Of War,” but whatever physical ailment he may be struggling with (probably not syphilis; Gerri thinks maybe Waystar dirty tricksters started that rumor) has progressed quickly since then, because now only Sandi can decipher his mumbled demands: three seats on the Waystar board; their costs covered; and veto rights over any member of the Roy family ever being CEO. (Might this be the first domino in a row that ends in the company being run by Greg, technically a Hirsch?) Logan reluctantly agrees. While everyone else leaps into action so that Frank can triumphantly announce it to shareholders, Logan seeks affirmation from…Colin. Since he’s not generally involved in business decisions, even Colin is confused to be asked, but vaguely says the deal “could be good.”

…but it’s not actually done yet, as Sandi relays one more demand to Gerri: “They want to take away the private jets.” Everyone is ready to eat it — Roman tries to hold out, but even he can’t really defend it — but Logan’s immediate answer is that he needs to pee again. (I’m paraphrasing.) After returning from his journey, with which he demanded Tom’s help, Logan offers a very on-brand “Fuck ’em.” No one is sure whether this is an actionable order (“What if ‘fuck ’em’ means ‘fuck the planes’???” I screamed). Logan sits back down, asking Colin for his pills; Colin doesn’t understand, since he just gave Logan Advil, but we know that Kerry already gave Logan his pills earlier, so we are on high alert for erratic behavior even before Logan repeats his questions about how to work the president on the DOJ. Then he needs another “piss,” and this time Tom is alarmed to hear Logan shivering and howling in pain in the stall, suggesting that they call Logan’s doctor; Logan’s uncharacteristic warmth toward him seems to tip Tom that something is very wrong…

…and when he returns to tell Shiv that Logan is “totally out of it,” Logan proves it by calling Shiv Marcia. Kerry reports that Logan has a UTI, and that if he’s behaving strangely, it’s because he’s behind on his pills. (UTIs in seniors, and individuals who have dementia, can compromise their cognitive abilities.) The news quickly spreads through the room — “piss-mad” becomes the very classy shorthand term — so the question becomes whether Logan even knew what he was saying “fuck ’em” to; no one is comforted when he suddenly decides there is a dead cat under his chair that Colin must remove.

At this inconvenient moment, Kendall storms in from his own private war room, demanding to know why Team Logan still hasn’t made a deal with Sandy and Stewy. The top teamsters try, as casually as possible, to block Logan from view while ordering Kendall off. The consultant tells the top team to make any deal with Sandy and Stewy…

…and Shiv deputizes herself, meeting with Sandi alone to cave on the jets. When Sandi still won’t just sign off, Shiv purrs that she doesn’t like how Sandy “sidelines” Sandi, offering a fourth board seat, for Sandi herself. Since that’s a lot of seats for their coalition, Shiv will need one more on the Roy side: for Shiv! How funny that this situation arranged itself to Shiv’s own benefit!!! Sandi knows Sandy won’t approve, but Shiv waves that off: “the markets” won’t let her or any of her brothers ever ascend to CEO. Sandi skeptically asks whether Shiv believes that. Shiv: “I only care if your dad believes it.”

While Shiv’s gone, Roman is forced to take a call from the president rather than put Logan on. Through the episode, we’ve been seeing ATN screens continuing the assault Shiv ordered in “Lion In The Meadow” — “PRESIDENT’S MEMORY MAY BE SUSPECT”; “QUESTIONS GROW OVER PRESIDENT’S ‘COMPETENCE AND CAPABILITY'” — and now we find out that they went a little too hard: the president won’t be running again.

Only Connor is happy about this news, because he has his own reasons for wanting a Republican incumbent not to run again, and also because is an idiot. But there isn’t much time to waste worrying about how much tougher the next president’s DOJ may be on Waystar: Shiv reports on the new deal with Sandi, and Karl rushes to deliver the good news on stage…

…but not without incident. Berry begs Kendall not to insert himself, but Kendall can’t resist a spotlight, and takes the podium to order a moment of silence for the victims of Waystar’s crimes. No one in the audience backs his play — perhaps because the ones who were offended by the media reports of said violence already dumped their stock — and when he isn’t met by the approval he apparently expected, Kendall RECITES THE VICTIMS’ NAMES until someone cuts the mic.

Once it’s all over and the peons are packing up, the top team toasts, everyone relieved except Logan, who’s been rehydrated with an IV drip and recovered his faculties enough to resist all of Shiv’s naked attempts to extract an “attagirl” out of him. Refusing to take the hint as Roman tries to strategize next steps with Gerri, Shiv leans in with a champagne glass to try to get him to celebrate; when he bats it away and barks at her to quit “buzzing in [his] fucking ear,” Shiv attempts to save face with the poise of someone who’s had to do it before: “Well, someone’s feeling better!”

As Comfry tries to spin the social media reaction to Kendall’s grandstanding and Berry mentally counts her fee for this thankless job…

…Kerry finds Kendall: Logan wants to see him. Or does he just want to control Kendall one last time? Kendall straightens up at the sound of footsteps approaching, but it’s just Jess: Logan has already left. When Kendall calls his father, Logan hands Kerry his phone and orders her to block Kendall’s number. What’s the only thing more devastating than getting yelled at by Logan? Getting ignored.

Margin Calls

• Still no Marcia: How tough are these negotiations?!
• Oh, Greg: Greg somehow did not anticipate that signing the Joint Defense Agreement would firm up Kendall’s determination to sacrifice Greg to the DOJ for his own sake, and seems genuinely shocked when Kendall tells him so. Summoned to meet Ewan, there’s more bad news: Ewan is so furious that Greg fired Pugh that he’s not just cutting Greg out of his will: he’s donating the entire estate to Greenpeace. Greg uses his downtime to find out if it’s possible to sue Ewan in a loving way, ultimately landing on a plan to sue Greenpeace. Tom: “I like your style, Greg.”
• Connor’s Job: Having struck out with Shiv last week, Connor once again pitches himself for a job at Waystar — this time directly to Logan, suggesting that he run European cable.

This is apparently enough for Connor to take as a definite yes and brag about later to Hugo and Cyd: “Can you believe it?” “It is hard to believe,” Cyd replies.

• Shiv In Sync: Tom’s extreme horniness for Shiv after she pulls off the deal with Sandi gets a lot less endearing after she figures out that he’s been tracking her menstrual cycle, trying to get her pregnant before he gets incarcerated. Tip for…anyone, really: when your self-defense involves phrases like “It’s not creepy” and “You’re making it sound horrible and it’s not horrible! It’s supposed to be nice!,” stop whatever you’re doing.
• The Rabbit: Now we all know: Kendall should not have tried to kiss up to his kids by letting Sophie feed the rabbit a piece of bagel because RABBITS CANNOT EAT BREAD. I really didn’t expect to be proven right so fast, but this is what happens when you underestimate Kendall’s lack of empathy for anyone but himself.

Television Without Pity, Fametracker, and Previously.TV co-founder Tara Ariano has had bylines in The New York Times Magazine, Vanity Fair, Vulture, Slate, Salon, Mel Magazine, Collider, and The Awl, among others. She co-hosts the podcasts Extra Hot Great, Again With This (a compulsively detailed episode-by-episode breakdown of Beverly Hills, 90210 and Melrose Place), Listen To Sassy, and The Sweet Smell Of Succession. She’s also the co-author, with Sarah D. Bunting, of A Very Special 90210 Book: 93 Absolutely Essential Episodes From TV’s Most Notorious Zip Code (Abrams 2020). She lives in Austin.

Watch Succession Season 3 Episode 5 on HBO Max