‘Love Is Blind’ Star Shake Chatterjee Suffers From A Case of Self-Hatred Towards His Own Culture

There is no reality television without the winners and losers (or as Abhishek “Shake” Chatterjee on Love is Blind calls them, goddesses and villains). Every reality show requires antagonists, and Shake gladly stepped into the role for the second season of the hit Netflix reality show. 

From the very first frame that he appears in, Shake pushes the boundaries of the show, which by design prioritizes emotional relationships over pure physical attraction. In the pods, he clicks with fellow Indian Deepti Vempati over their shared heritage, as well as the ways they’ve both run from their culture (especially when it comes to dating). He also asks her if she’s skinny enough to be hoisted onto his shoulders at a concert. Still, they forge a bond so deep that Shake proposes, she accepts, and they meet in real life. In their first view of each other, Shake gushes over how attractive he finds her, even going so far as to grab her ass right there in the hallway.

It’s especially jarring, then, that Shake spends the rest of the show talking about how he doesn’t find Deepti attractive. As hosts Nick and Vanessa Lachey noted in the reunion, Shake’s inability to let go of the attraction variable and give himself over to the process made him feel like he was in the wrong show entirely.

The thing is, I don’t entirely disagree with Shake. I believe every relationship requires a component of physical attraction, and anything that doesn’t is just a glorified friendship. But it’s the way in which he goes about it that is especially nasty, desexualizing Deepti constantly by comparing her to his aunt. He claims to be referencing the familiarity that he feels with Deepti, but what he’s covering up is the internalized racism he holds against Indian women. It’s clear in watching him talk badly about her behind her back that he is not only a jerk, but also possesses a self-hatred toward his culture, seeing as how he can’t see a gorgeous brown woman standing in front of him as anything more than just a family member. Of course, he’s allowed to have his preferences, but it’s clear that his mental block spans beyond just that.

“It’s clear in watching Shake talk badly about Deepti behind her back that he is not only a jerk, but also possesses a self-hatred toward his culture, seeing as how he can’t see a gorgeous brown woman standing in front of him as anything more than just a family member.”

Shake isn’t an anomaly. Indian (and specifically, Indian-American) men like him are aplenty: they are, generally speaking, fatphobic, hyper-obsessed with attractiveness and social status, and tend to favor blonde hair and light skin. I’ve met many of them in real life, men who spend their youthful years chasing white women only to appear later with their tails between their legs with hopes of settling down with an Indian woman who will satisfy their moms.

When Love is Blind premiered, it was the beginning of the pandemic and felt oddly clairvoyant about the future of dating (which was, at the time, relegated to Zoom and FaceTime dates). But to me, it’s always been weirdly reminiscent of an arranged marriage: a practice that is ironically deeply entwined in Indian culture, and in the olden days didn’t allow its participants to see each other until the day of the wedding. It’s not very different from what happens on this show, though of course show participants have more agency about the entire ordeal.

This familiarity is what makes seeing Deepti and Shake’s story so interesting; two Indian people, who admittedly didn’t have a strong connection with their culture, voluntarily opting into an experiment that mirrors one of the most traditional aspects of the subcontinent. It’s curious that their culture became such a talking point for two people who had never really clicked with anyone from their background before. Of course, we’ll never know the extent to which producers meddled behind the scenes, but in the final edit it’s clear that Deepti was at least in it for the right reasons. Shake, though? Not so much.

Radhika Menon (@menonrad) is a TV-obsessed writer based in New York City. Her work has appeared on Paste Magazine, Teen Vogue, Vulture and more. At any given moment, she can ruminate at length over Friday Night Lights, the University of Michigan, and the perfect slice of pizza. You may call her Rad.