‘Conversations with Friends’ Is a Relatable Mess

There are never straight answers in Conversations with Friends, Hulu’s latest miniseries based on the novel of the same name by Sally Rooney. Long, tense half-arguments end with unresolved frustration. People hook up and make out with each other without explaining if these sparks of romance are signifiers of boredom or something more. Characters preach about being sexually open until they have to grapple with the reality of that label. In many ways, it’s one long, drawn out, exhausting mess, which makes it more than relatable. When it comes to the types of relationships we now look back on in shame, Conversations with Friends is honest.

Based on Rooney’s debut novel, the series revolves around Francis (Alison Oliver), a college student who puts on a brave face despite knowing little about herself. Though she has sharp opinions, nearly everything she does is a reflection of her ex-girlfriend and current best friend, Bobbi (Sasha Lane). Her thoughts are often toned down versions of Bobbi’s fiery takes and her friends extensions of Bobbi’s circle. That changes completely once Francis and Bobbi befriend Melissa (Jemima Kirke), a successful writer. As Bobbi fawns over this mysterious woman, Francis sets her sights on Melissa’s quieter husband, Nick (Joe Alwyn). It isn’t long before they start their own steamy affair. In the process, Francis begins to discover the woman she truly is and, most importantly of all, who she wants to be.

So much about Conversations with Friends is predictable. At its core, this is a story we’ve seen a million times before, one about a young woman who has an affair with a married man only to have that affair blow up in her face. But it’s through Conversations with Friends‘ nearly sluggish pacing that its grander arc becomes clear. Every emotional beat is portrayed in such painstaking detail, you can feel the full weight of everything from Francis’ excitement to her creeping regret. The end result is a series that fully understands what leads to some people cheating and can explain that disgraceful impulse to its audience. By the series’ midpoint, you know why Francis is sleeping with Nick, and you know exactly why that’s both right and wrong.

It’s that lack of moral decision-making that makes Conversations with Friends feel the most tonally similar to Normal People. Throughout the course of the series, Francis does many questionable things. Some of them are arguably unforgivable. Yet the show itself never judges Francis nor does it thoughtlessly support her. Instead it basks in the messiness of her ever-changing emotions and partially formed thoughts as she helps to destroy this marriage.

In Conversations with Friends, the Hollywood myth of a clear-cut relationship is nothing more than that — a myth. Keep your dream marriages and destiny-bound love sagas. This one is for the tangled relationships we all regret, the ones practically designed to cause endless anxiety.