Chris-Mas in July: Which Hollywood Chris Reigns Supreme in 2022?

Sorry, sorry. I know it’s predictable to put Chris Pratt last on a Chris list, but his 2022 projects have not been too well-received. Pratt starred in Jurassic World Dominion, made an appearance in Thor: Love and Thunder, and is now leading Prime Video’s The Terminal List — all of which, with the exception of Thor, didn’t get much love from critics. Still, Pratt hustled this year, gifting us three on-screen roles to check out. And crucially, he also played a part in bringing Taylor Kitsch, his Terminal List costar, to TV again. The greatest gift of all.

Did I want to include Chris O’Shea, who plays Percival Pickens on Riverdale, in this list? Not really! Episode after episode his character — a dangerous descendant of General Pickens (one of the town’s founding fathers) — proves to be stressful as hell. He uses the “power of persuasion” to wreak further havoc on Riverdale and its residents. (As if enough havoc hasn’t already been wreaked over the years!) But since he’s come to town and assumed the role as main villain of Season 6, I suppose he has given viewers the gift of drama, conflict, and another Sabrina Spellman (Kiernan Shipka) visit.

Actor and comedian Chris Elliott — known for everything from late night sketches to roles on beloved comedies including Everybody Loves Raymond, How I Met Your Mother, and Schitt’s Creek — gifted the world with his hilarious presence on Maggie. In the new Hulu series, starring Rebecca Rittenhouse as a psychic named Maggie, Elliott plays her quirky, comical dad, Jack. Elliott is a pure delight in the series, and he perfectly complements his main scene partner, Kerri Kenney, who plays Maggie’s mom Maria. Cast this Chris in everything as far as we’re concerned.

Chris Eigeman played a character named Stuart Legere in Billions for a hot second in 2022, but obviously I’m here to celebrate his iconic guest role on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Eigeman played Gabe, an editor at the Villiage Voice, the newspaper for which Midge’s dad starts writing theater reviews. The role itself wasn’t the gift. The fact that Eigeman appeared in another Amy Sherman-Palladino show was the real treat. Eigeman memorably played Jason “Digger” Styles, one of Lorelai’s boyfriends, on Gilmore Girls. He popped up in an episode of Sherman-Palladino’s Bunheads. And then he surprised us with the gift of another Gilmore reunion, joining Maisel Season 6 alongside fellow Stars Hollow alum Emily Bergl, Scott Cohen, Jackie Hoffman, Kelly Bishop, Milo Ventimiglia, and more. Oy with the collabs already!

Tied for seventh are our This Is Us Chrises. Chris Sullivan played Toby Damon throughout all six seasons, transitioning from Kate’s (Chrissy Metz) love interest, to her husband, to the father of their two kids, to her ex-husband. Meanwhile, Chris Geere was a late addition to the series, coming in during Season 5 to play Kate’s new colleague and eventual husband. This Is Us delivered a remarkable final season in 2022, and though it may have been snubbed by The Academy, it sure won’t be snubbed by Decider’s Chris-mas in July ranking. These Chrises weren’t just there to comfort the Pearsons — specifically our girl Kate — during one of the toughest times of their lives. They also gave viewers some much needed levity during a serious Season 6. (Looking at Toby in “The Train” episode.) For that, we both thank and rank them.

If we could include all the gifts Chris Evans has given us so far this year — the priceless press cycle moments, the puppy interview, the iPhone 6S reveal, and so on — then the famously a Top-Tier Chris would certainly be higher on this list. But we must stick to the guidelines set by “the best onscreen gifts in 2022 so far,” which means Evans has one film in play: Lightyear. With Lightyear, Evans gave the gifts of childhood nostalgia and another Pixar movie, but according to box office numbers, the film wasn’t out of this world. However, we can also call out a scrumptious Evans stocking stuffer: The trailer for his upcoming action-packed Netflix thriller, The Gray Man, which stars Ryan Gosling and Ana de Armas. Have no fear, Evans is just getting started this year.

When Chris Pine wasn’t starring in All the Old Knives this year, he was producing and starring in the modern pregnancy comedy Doula as Dr. Gregory Zonkowski, an extremely handsome OB/GYN with great hair. All of that? A gift. But we’d be remiss if we didn’t give All the Old Knives several shoutouts, too. We’re not saying it’s best film with the word “knives” in the title that stars a famous Chris (Knives Out forever), but Pine gifts us with his portrayal of Henry, a hot spy with salt-and-pepper hair who has one hell of steamy sex scene with Celia (Thandiwe Newton). Before we go, we need to shout out a Pine stocking stuffer: His cameo in the Don’t Worry Darling trailer. Pine really delivered this Chris-mas.

The number four spot goes to a Chris-mas in July newbie. World? Meet Christopher Briney, the 24-year-old actor who stole hearts as Conrad Fisher in The Summer I Turned Pretty. In Prime Video’s adaptation of the first book in Jenny Han’s Summer trilogy, Briney gifted teens everywhere with a new bad boy crush. A good on-screen rebel with a secret soft side (like gold standard crush Jess Mariano) doesn’t come around often, so when one appears you really have to celebrate. Thanks to Chris Briney, we got a quintessential Summer watch and a new Ship War that’s tearing the internet apart.

If you’re about to argue that Chris Lowell doesn’t deserve to be this high on the list, save it. Nothing you say can change my mind. And you know what? I would have put him second if the next Chris hadn’t had such a huge year. Chris-mas in July after Chris-mas in July, Lowell is underrated. But you know what? This man doesn’t let a lack of appreciation stop him. He stays slaying, he stays charming, and whenever he’s on screen I stay swooning.

Lowell has already given the world three major on-screen gifts this year. He was in an episode of Apple TV+’s Roar, an anthology series based on a book of short stories by Cecelia Ahern. Lowell played Detective Chris Durst in the episode titled, “The Woman Who Solved Her Own Murder,” which also starred his former GLOW costar, Alison Brie. So for starters, Lowell helped gift the world a mini GLOW reunion. He also gave Inventing Anna viewers some much-needed joy by popping in to play a dude named Noah for two episodes. And most importantly, he helped make the first season of the How I Met Your Mother spinoff, How I Met Your Father, a success. In a heartfelt, smooth, at times hilariously nerdy performance, Lowell plays Jesse, a close friend of protagonist Sophie’s (Hilary Duff). Jesse has major crush potential, and Lowell’s on-screen chemistry with Duff (and the rest of the cast) is delightful. New rule: You can no longer call yourself a Chris enthusiast if you’re sleeping on Lowell.

It’s no secret that Chris Hemsworth’s major films of the year so far — Spiderhead and Thor: Love and Thunder  — received mixed reviews. But this man gifted the world so much on-screen joy in 2022 and made quite the cultural impact. Thus, he deserves the second spot. Yes, critics deeply disliked Netflix’s sci-fi prison thriller, adapted from George Saunders’ 2010 New Yorker short story, “Escape from Spiderhead.” But Hemsworth’s performance was a bright spot of the film, just as it was in the latest Thor installment. While some saw Love and Thunder as a clear success, others argued it made for a fun-enough trip to the theater and not much else. Whether people loved Hemsworth’s early 2022 films or hated them, they praised his performances. In Spiderhead, Hemsworth gifted us Steve Abnesti, a brilliant villainous prison overseer/scientist who perfectly pulls off facial hair, gold-rimmed glasses. and says things like, “Beautiful people get away with too much, and I say that having benefitted from myself from time to time.” In Love and Thunder, he gifted us another revival of his charming character; a rekindled flame; and a bare butt scene! I also have to shout out Hemsworth’s hilarious cameo as a TV salesman in his wife Elsa Pataky’s movie, Interceptor. Gifts galore!

Some loyal Chris-mas in July fans may be shocked to see a Chris outside one of Hollywood’s usual Top Four (Evans, Pine, Hemsworth, Pratt) take the top spot on this list, but the reigning Chris of 2022 was a no-brainer. In addition to a stellar, Emmy-nominated performance as Burt on Apple TV+’s mysterious workplace thriller, Severance, Christopher Walken gave us Burving, one of greatest slow burn workplace romances TV’s seen in years. Walken and his IRL pal John Turturro (who also received an Emmy nom for his role as Irving in the series) had electric on-screen chemistry, and their intimate almost-kiss from Episode 6 was hotter than the year’s steamiest sex scene. Walken flexed his dramatic chops in one of the year’s greatest shows, but he also gave us the gift of laughter (and Pussycat Dolls karaoke) as Frank Sheldon in Season 1 of The Outlaws, which dropped on Prime Video in April. Is there anything this Chris can’t do?