Stream It or Skip It: ‘We Wish You a Married Christmas’ on Hallmark, Where a Couple Rekindles Their Romance in Alpaca-ville

We Wish You a Married Christmas helps kick off Hallmark’s first weekend of holiday cheer. Perennial Hallmark stars Kristoffer Polaha and Marisol Nichols star as a couple on the rocks who hope that the holidays can bring them back together. The first weekend of Hallmark’s annual Countdown to Christmas celebration sees the launch of four brand new holiday films. The question is, does We Wish You a Married Christmas stand out from the pack?

WE WISH YOU A MARRIED CHRISTMAS: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: Becca (Nichols) and Robby (Polaha) are a fast-paced couple with fast-paced careers living in fast-paced New York City, and their marriage has slowed to a halt. They’re seeing a marriage counselor but nothin’ doin’! These two can’t stop fighting over even the tiniest of things, like where to put the microwave in their remodeled kitchen (it cannot go on an island, Becca!). In a last ditch effort to help her clients, the counselor suggests they visit Gracious, Vermont, a “nook” of a town with a population of 513… and therefore at least 513 Christmas trees.

Becca and Robby are charmed by Gracious, and how could they not be? The town’s main export seems to be alpaca-grams, which are somehow exactly what they sound like — and also a real thing, I’m just now learning??? But if you think Becca and Robby are gonna get out of Gracious before they can get some life-changing lessons about love from Gracious, think again. The two get stuck in Gracious for Christmas and find that their ice cold relationship just may be heating up.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: This is part of a romcom sub-genre wherein a married couple falls back in love with each other. It’s a rekindled-rom-com, so think Couples Retreat or The Story of Us.

Performance Worth Watching: We’ve got gays, people! The presence of queer people in Hallmark holiday movies will always be surprising and delightful to me. This time around, the gays are Vince (Brian Sills) and Brian (Claude Knowlton). They run the Greenbrae Inn and have a side hustle helping out troubled couples by putting them through a wringer of Christmas cheer. They’re charming, fun, show affection, and are integral to the plot. I now have a new life goal: become a Christmas inn gay.

Memorable Dialogue: This is going to sound ridiculous, but just Polaha and Nichols looking across a table and saying, “Hey” to each other stuck with me. Why? Because these two holiday movie pros have immediate chemistry with each other and are able to convey a lifetime of backstory with just two “heys.”

A Holiday Tradition: Gracious is a small town in a Christmas movie. Of course the week leading up to the big holiday is packed with lots of traditions both conventional (caroling, a Christmas market) and unique (a Twinkle Lights Parade with minimal floats, a Sip ‘n’ Shop event where people get tipsy and buy local goods).

Does the Title Make Any Sense?: Now this is a good pun. You can totally imagine Vince and Brian saying this to any couple checking out of the inn — and honestly it’s a shame that they don’t.

Our Take: It’s that time of year again — a time for young professionals to go back to their small town homes, a time for small businesses to get surprise windfalls of cash, a time for lifelong rivals to become one-true-pairings within a matter of hours, and a time when Christmas magic solves everything (except for the night when Hanukkah magic solves everything). Hallmark holiday movies are back on TV, and all is right with basic cable once more.

And what a start! We Wish You a Married Christmas is quintessential Hallmark, from the scorn it has for the big city — NYC, the biggest city of all! — to business-minded locals who are maybe too invested in a romance between two out-of-towners. And you’ve got Marisol Nichols and Kristoffer Polaha, two Hallmark A-listers who know how to bring, well, almost an edge to their scenes. They play adults with backstories that you immediately envision and dynamics that are instantly recognizable, which is necessary when playing a couple on the brink of imploding.

Like the lead actors, We Wish You a Married Christmas actually gives a little more and goes a little further than the average Hallmark holiday movie. Having the leads already be a couple is itself a surprise, as is the attention-grabbing structure of the movie’s first few minutes. There’s also the alpaca of it all, which is such a weird and persistent choice that I can’t help but admire it. I mean, they’re alpacas. What’s not to love? Plus, Polaha has the handsomest hairline in all of Hallmark’s holiday lineup, which is both a weird compliment I felt compelled to include because it’s true and it’s also a tongue twister.

In We Wish You a Married Christmas, the Hallmark formula — a formula we love — has an extra kick to it that makes it stand out from the incredibly dense crowd of seasonal cable romcoms. If this is how Hallmark is starting this season off, one has to wonder what’s lined up over the next few months.

Our Call: STREAM IT. We Wish You a Married Christmas will make you toss out your pumpkin spice latte and refill your mug with hot cocoa. The holiday season is officially here.