Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Merry Kiss Cam’ on Hulu, a Warm, Predictable, Hockey-Themed Christmas Rom-Com

Hulu Christmas rom-com Merry Kiss Cam poses a very serious question: If a movie is set in Minnesota and hockey doesn’t factor into the plot, does it actually exist? As the title tells us, a key component of this story is the obnoxious practice of sports-arena camera operators spotlighting a couple on the jumbotron and forcing them into public displays of affection – an obnoxious practice that breaks the romantic ice for two somewhat lonely souls. So will this sub-featherweight holiday outing find the back of the net or just ping one off the crossbar?

MERRY KISS CAM: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: DULUTH, MINNESOTA, EARLY WINTER. Jess (Katie Lowes, who you may recognize as a recurring regular on Scandal) is a painter, as in the fine-arts type. The gallery proprietor is on Jess’ case to whip her next show into shape, but she’s got painter’s block. Elsewhere, Danny (Jesse Bradford, who you may recognize as a recurring regular on Shooter) pulls beers at the Irish pub his father left for him – his father, whose photo sits behind the bar so Danny can talk to it/him. He and his regulars are big fans of the Minnesota-Duluth Bulldogs college hockey team, which is in the midst of a historic losing skid. Oh noes, sports woes!

On the off chance that you’re fresh off the flying saucer from Proxima Centauri, Jess and Danny are destined to find themselves in the aforementioned sports-arena jumbotron situation. But how is the question here. HOW will a woman who barely knows what hockey is find herself in the stands next to a modestly attractive fellow roughly her own age and also with Dead People in His Life so they may be forced to squash face? Well, it has to do with eating snow. No, really. She steps outside her studio after a frustrating day of not getting much painting done and grabs a handful of fresh white powder and munches away. Moments later, she spots Danny outside his pub doing exactly the same thing – destiny is afoot! So she follows an impulse into the pub, exchanges flirtatious banter with him and leaves him a little sketched portrait with her name on it, and also hopefully a decent tip.

The tip must’ve been good, because Danny sets aside his mild luddite tendencies to mildly stalk her online and DM her a request to join him at the Bulldogs game. Of course she says yes – whaddaya think’s gonna happen, she says no and doesn’t fulfill the predestination of the title of the movie? And so they sit in front of a hockey lifer with an egregiously unconvincing hockey-hair wig and continue to hit it off nicely while cheering on the hapless Bulldogs until the kiss cam bullseyes them and it’s awkward for a minute until Jess says F it and plants a big one on Danny’s mouth. And guess what happens right then? The Bulldogs deposit the game-winner in the goal, which is a metaphor for something, and that something is S-E-X baby! But let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. Our principal characters need to work through comic misunderstandings and cutesy montages and sad montages and contend with the baggage of the Dead People in Their Lives before that happens, not that we see that happen. This is a made-for-TV movie after all.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Merry Kiss Cam is like Serendipity or Just Friends crossed with The Mighty Ducks or Mystery Alaska (but not at all on par with When Harry Met Sally crossed with Slap Shot).

Performance Worth Watching: It’s hard not to like Lowes as a rom-com lead – she ably handles the light comedy and not-particularly-heavy drama with an amiable likeableness, like a true pro.

Memorable Dialogue: “What the hell is a zambaloney?” – Jess, betraying her hockey-luddite status

Sex and Skin: None.

Our Take: Be warned you serial hair-splitters you, Merry Kiss Cam is not intrinsically a Christmas movie. It is merely set during the holiday season, and absolutely only because someone came up with that catchy, groany-pun title and had to sprinkle in some tinsel and ugly sweaters in order to justify it. Otherwise, this is a perfectly serviceable warm chocolate chip cookie of a movie that’s stale so you just microwave it for a few seconds to render it edible again. That’s a long way of saying that nobody will accuse this movie of being particularly fresh, but maintains enough sweetness to satisfy any base cravings you may have after you’ve exhausted a bunch of this year’s Hallmark and Lifetime offerings to the cruel and insatiable gods of the holiday rom-com.

The movie indulges a little sports-superstition fodder by tying the Bulldogs’ improbable success to our protags’ ability to keep their romance afloat, and therefore never, ever ceases being predictable. It uses social media as a plot device, each principal has a BFF who dispenses romantic advice, it deploys the usual breakup/make-up zambaloney, etc. But Lowes and Bradford kindle just enough of a romantic flame to roast a chestnut and warm a cockle or two and inspire us to root for them to blast a slapshot into the five hole IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, not that a single piece of clothing ever hits the floor in this tame outing, you horndogs. That Merry Kiss Cam manages to achieve this modest goal without being annoying feels nothing remotely like an Xmas miracle, so let’s just chalk it up as a modest success.

Our Call: Merry Kiss Cam isn’t a down-to-the-wire nailbiter that clinches a playoff berth, but it is a modest mid-season 2-1 win that happens with consistent defensive play, solid goaltending and an ability to keep the puck in your opponent’s zone. STREAM IT.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Read more of his work at johnserbaatlarge.com.