Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Too Hot To Handle’ Season 4 On Netflix, Now With More Mario Lopez

Netflix’s Too Hot To Handle challenges ten horny and very hot singles to abstain from sex and win money. Now in its fourth season, the premise is switched up and the contestants are tricked into thinking they’re on a different dating show, and they’re very disappointed when they learn the truth.

TOO HOT TO HANDLE (SEASON 4): STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

Opening Shot: A group of people wearing flight suits walk on a tarmac. SUV’s with a heart logo and the name “Wild Love” roll past, and Mario Lopez exclaims, “This is Wild Love, the dating show that harnesses the power of adrenaline to help you fall in love harder.” Wait, what show am I watching?

The Gist: “The whole world and her grandma have heard of Too Hot To Handle, Lana, and her rules,,” announcer Desiree Burch explains as soon as this montage of fully clothed people appear before Mario Lopez. And that is why, in order to catch its contestants off guard and keep things fresh, producers cast them under the guise of a different show called Wild Love, and this fake show is hosted by Mario Lopez. Only there is no Wild Love, and Mario is not actually the sentient robot in charge here, Lana is.

So at the top of the show, we’re introduced to ten hot young adults hailing from all over the world, who all think they’re on a show where they’ll be asked to do adrenaline-pumping activities like jumping out of a plane and see how it affects their states of arousal and attraction. They all seem vapid and self-assured, but likeable enough, and have I mentioned that they’re hot? Most of the men seem to lust after one woman in particular, a honey-blonde name Kayla who considers herself a heartbreaker. As all of these hot hardbodies flirt and get to know one another, they have no idea that they’re about to be forced into abstinence in a few hours when Lopez reveals the real show that they’re on, which makes it funny to see them all making naughty plans with one another (well, they’re all mentally making plans, no one commits to hooking up yet, but the vibe is “we’re all going to have sex tonight”).

For their first Wild Love challenge, they’re each given flight suits and called to a an airstrip (literally the only landing strip on this otherwise Brazilian-waxed show), and Lopez tells them that their challenge will be explained to them by a “world-famous extreme sports expert.” “An expert? or a cock-blocking cone who’s about to tell you what show you’re really on?” Burch narrates. Lana pops through the moon roof of the car, and the contestants instantly realize they’ve been had. Lopez peaces out, never to be seen again, and the contestants range from bewildered to angry. The show that they’re really on, Too Hot To Handle, is the one where these flirty folks who are already undressing each other with their eyes, are forced to refrain from any touching or sexual activity for the summer. If anyone breaks the rules, small increments of money will be deducted from the $200,000 prize they’re all vying for. “I didn’t even get to pleasure myself to say goodbye,” the Australian named Creed says.

As they all reel from the shock, Lana says, “Welcome to your long, hot, sexless summer.”

What Shows Will It Remind You Of?As a show, Too Hot To Handle is, at this point, it’s own peerless entity, but it’s worth reminding viewers that its premise was, in fact, based around the Seinfeld episode called “The Contest,” in which Jerry and his friends abstain from sex and masturbation for as long as possible.

Our Take: Since the first episode of this season is pretending to be a completely different show, it’s fun to watch our contestants get fooled, but episode one isn’t really indicative of what you’re in for for the rest of the season. Because while all the contestants, at first, keep saying they want to “keep their options open,” which is code for “sleep with everyone and then decide who they want to sleep with more,” it’s only in the final moments that they learn that’s not going to happen.

Season four of Too Hot To Handle kind of assumes that if you’ve gotten this far with the show, you don’t really need the rule of the game explained to you, you just know that this is a show in which the person with the bluest balls at the end wins $200,000, give or take. And that makes it all the more entertaining, watching these people prepare to have sex that they’ll never have. It’s like the old proverb, “when you make a plan, God laughs,” except in this case, God is Lana, the omniscient cock-blocking robot.

Lana sees everyone’s interactions throughout the villa that they’re living in, and her disembodied voice encourages the contestants to focus on one person to make a deeper connection with, rather than playing the field. We see them couple off and try to form meaningful bonds, but admittedly, it’s hard to root for people who are cast for their horny vapidity and want them to not just live happily ever after but also make money from this endeavor. Lana’s mission is a noble one, but even if it were up to these ten people to couple up in order to save the human race, I can’t say I’d be rooting for them to perpetuate the species.

Sex and Skin: Sex is literally the only thing that is talked about on this show, but alas, our contestants are not having any. (YET?)

Parting Shot: Once the contestants learn what show they’re really on, one of them, a Dutch woman named Jawahir, pretends to pray, saying, “Forgive me Father, for I. WILL. SIN.”

Sleeper Star: Kudos to Mario Lopez for being game to be a part of this ruse, he only appears in the first episode, but he helps sell the contestants on the fact that they’re on Wild Love and not Too Hot To Handle.

Most Pilot-y Line: “I think girls who go an have their casual sex should not be slut-shamed. In the ’50s, you were a slut. Now you’re an icon. And I’m definitely an icon,” a woman named Brittan (“like the country, but spelled better,” she explains, but you know she was totally born a Brittany) giggles.

Our Call: SKIP IT. Even though this first episode turns things on its head and mixes up the formula, the show is still just a group of 10 people talking about how much they love sex, which gets old. I’m all for anyone’s sexual freedom, but it’s a little exhausting hearing hot people talk about how hot they are and how much they love (or have) big dick energy.

Liz Kocan is a pop culture writer living in Massachusetts. Her biggest claim to fame is the time she won on the game show Chain Reaction.