‘The Circle’s’ Marvin Proves That Being an F-Boy Is Worse than Being a Catfish

For the first few episodes of The Circle Season 5, the whole “singles” angle seemed superfluous. Why was the season marketed that way, and what really makes Season 5 any different from previous seasons of the Netflix reality show? Players in the Circle form alliances based on flirting so regularly that asking a player to be your #CircleBoyfriend or #CircleGirlfriend has become a major part of the strategy. That being said, this week’s batch of episodes really — finally — highlight why this season is also known as The Circle: Singles, and the reason is juicy AF. SPOILERS ahead! Y’all, The Circle players aren’t just hunting for catfish. It turns out they’re also hunting for F-boys, and the gals have reeled in a big one.

Marvin, Marvin, Marvin — where in the world do we begin? Marvin is the kind of player that The Circle loves. He’s hot, shredded, and brought zero shirts with him. Marvin’s even making the classic Circle humblebrag of playing as a personal trainer instead of his real profession — a chemical engineer — because he looks way too fit to also be smart. But as Marvin’s mid-season moves demonstrate, book smarts are not the same as Circle smarts.

Things started out fine, though! Marvin quickly formed an alliance with Chaz and Raven (#TeamMelanin). He then locked it down with his #CircleQueen Raven. Wow, he skipped #CircleGirlfriend and went straight to royalty! This alliance looked rock solid… and then came Tamira.

Tamira, a.k.a. the profile played by newcomer Tasia, immediately caught Marvin’s eye. This is ironic, though, because Marvin literally said that falling for a catfish would be “terrible” in his intro video. Well, buddy, you were right! Tasia is definitely not Tamira, and things are definitely going to go terribly.

When Tasia slides into Marvin’s DMs, she has one thing on her mind: she needs to get Marvin on her side so she can win a showdown with the other newbie, Sasha/Shubham (yes, Season 1’s Shubham). The two hit it off right away, flirting and slinging pickup lines at each other with Marvin apologizing to Raven the entire time. Marvin tries to square the convo with his unseen #CircleQueen by saying that Tamira’s just “one of those girls where, even though you have a wife, you sneak out to go see her just because she makes you happy, you know?” Yes, we know. You’re describing an affair. Still, Marvin thinks this is great.

And if you think that the arrival of Tamira has changed Marvin’s thoughts about Raven, think again. The two get into what just may be the spiciest DM session in the show’s history, which includes the message, “I’d rather be doing squats with you underneath me.” Raven’s interpreter Paris can barely sign for her, he’s too busy picking his jaw up off the floor.

Thanks to a twist of fate (re: Marvin picking Tasia’s clay sculpture of Tamira’s boobs as his fave during a Circle game), Marvin ends up on one of the Circle’s “dates” with — who else? — Tamira. Of course Tamira lays it on thick, sharing a pic, and Marvin’s down with it. He hasn’t forgotten about Raven, either. He keeps apologizing to her, saying that “a king has got to look after his queen.” That is until he realizes that Tamira wasn’t in the game back when he and Raven flirted in a group chat. Tasia doesn’t know about him and Raven! This means two queens for Marvin!

This isn’t poker, dude. Having more than one queen on The Circle ultimately wins you $0!

At this point, viewers know that it is inevitable that Tasia and Raven are going to chat about this date — a date that everyone knows happened. More importantly, Marvin knows that everyone knows this date happened. Also Marvin should know that all the women and all the men have side chats going on every single season where they spill the beans, tea, and everything else. Just to play it the opposite of safe, Marvin has a chinwag with Tom and brags about how fast Tamira’s messages went on their date. Not only does Tom know that Raven and Marvin were flirting, he also can’t figure out why a guy with “feminism” in his profile is bro’ing out in the DMs. Marvin at least knows to pump the brakes a bit, but it’s like pumping the brakes after you’ve crashed into a brick wall.

And then comes the Tres Amigas chat, a chat between Tasia, Sam, and Raven. Tasia, still new to the game and looking for allies, wants to buddy up with two of the other girls. What better way to bond than by spilling tea about a date? The minute Sam puts together what’s about to happen and rushes out of the bathroom to get a bag of popcorn? Sam is truly all of us.

This entire chat is an instant classic. The way Raven drops the bomb that she’s supposed to be Marvin’s #CircleQueen. The way Tasia flops onto her bed after being hit by potentially her first big Circle misstep. The way Sam is just there, munching away and not even blinking like she’s Wednesday Addams or something. It’s golden, and it’s also the end of Marvin’s reign as the #CircleKing. In the next round of ratings, Marvin drops from his consistent #4 spot to #8 — dead last.

It’s clear why, too! Raven, Tasia, Sam, Tom even Chaz because of course Raven told him everything — they were all thrown by Marvin’s completely unfathomable play to coast to the end by flirting with two different women. Maybe instead of focusing on quasi-catfishing by downplaying all of his degrees, Marvin should have just… not committed to two women at once? While unstable “Circle romances” have taken players down before, it’s hard to think of one that tanked this badly. Marvin, Marvin, Marvin — we’ll have to wait to see what happens next, but Chaz knows what’s up:

New episodes of The Circle Season 5 are added to Netflix on Wednesdays.