Julie Bowen Tells Drew Barrymore Hilarious Horror Story About Her Italian Boyfriend and Bacon: “He Wasn’t Gonna Make It”

Bringing home a hot Italian guy named Fabio from your study abroad trip in Italy may sound like a dream, but it doesn’t always result in a fairytale ending — at least, not for actress Julie Bowen.

The Modern Family alum opened up to Drew Barrymore on today’s episode of The Drew Barrymore Show about the time she spent a year in Italy during her junior year of college. The revelation led Barrymore to ask if she brought anything home from her time overseas.

“His name was Fabio,” Bowen said as she sipped from her mug. “No English. He was site-specific. He worked really well in Italy but once I brought him back and realized that he didn’t speak any English, it was a little tough.”

At this point, it was hard to tell whether she was joking or not. However, when she delved into the specifics of just how downhill things went with Fabio’s “little problem with the food” here in the U.S., we couldn’t help but believe her.

“One day he’s like clutching his gut and he said, ‘Julie, die.’ In Italian, he’s telling me that he’s dying because he ate a whole packet of prosciutto and mascarpone,” Bowen said. “And I’m like, I was in college. I didn’t have prosciutto and mascarpone.”

She continued, “So I go and look in the garbage and there’s an empty package of raw bacon and an empty tub of cream cheese.”

And it was at that moment that Bowen knew it would never work out between the two of them. Sigh.

“I laughed and laughed and picked up the phone and called the airline and said, ‘You’re going home,’” she said. “He wasn’t gonna make it.”

Lesson learned: if you ever bring someone home from Italy, make sure you explain the difference between prosciutto and raw bacon.

The Drew Barrymore Show airs on weekdays on CBS. You can check the website for local airtimes.