‘The Last of Us’ Season Finale Ending Explained: Why Did Joel Lie to Ellie?

Remember nine weeks ago, before The Last of Us premiered? We were all so young and innocent then. We didn’t yet understand the myriad of ways television could emotionally destroy us. But now we’re standing on the other side, and The Last of Us Episode 9, aka The Last of Us season finale, may be the most depressing installment in the history of this aggressively morose show.

“Look for the Light” doesn’t start with Joel (Pedro Pascal) or even Ellie (Bella Ramsey). Instead, it starts with Ellie’s mother, Anna. Portrayed by Ashley Johnson, the actress who voices Ellie in the games, Episode 9 chronicles Anna as she narrowly escapes an Infected attack. She’s bitten in the process, which is pretty bad. But do you know what’s even worse? The encounter is so stressful, it causes her to go into labor. She has Ellie alone and terrified in an abandoned house.

After the worst is over, Marlene (Merle Dandridge) arrives. Anna begs her childhood friend to take her daughter back to Boston and kill Anna before she turns. Initially, Marlene refuses. But you know how the leader of the Fireflies is. At the end of the day, she’ll do exactly what needs to be done.

The series then whips back to present day as Ellie and Joel make their way to the Fireflies’ base. For once, Ellie is quiet — a smart detail in the wake of her traumatizing battle with Pastor David (Scott Shepherd). Just like in the game, Joel tries to get her to her talk, but it’s clear she isn’t really there. That’s when Joel breaks out the big guns.

Did Joel Try to Kill Himself?

As they approach Saint Mary’s Hospital, Joel stops Ellie and tells her they don’t have to go through with this. They can just go back to Jackson and forget this ever happened. Ellie refuses, telling Joel that they need to finish what they started. After they finish up their business with the Fireflies, she promises she will go with him anywhere.

As they pass through a group of medical tents, Joel reveals that he was placed in one of those a couple of days out of the outbreak. Ellie asks him if he was put there because of the mystery shooter — the man Joel told her about in Episode 3. That’s when Joel comes clean and mentions something that’s never been in the games.

“It was me. I was the guy who shot and missed,” Joel says, referencing the gunshot wound on his head. “Sarah died and I couldn’t see the point anymore — simple as that. And I wasn’t scared either. I was ready. I couldn’t have been more ready. When I went to pull the trigger I flinched. Still don’t know why.”

After a beat, Ellie says that time heals all wounds. That’s when Joel pointedly looks at her. “It wasn’t time that did it,” Joel says.

So yes, the most depressing TLOU fan theory is true. Joel did try to kill himself after Sarah’s death. Keep that in mind for what’s to come.

How Does The Last of Us Episode 9 End? The Last of Us Season 1 Finale Explained:

Shortly after this conversation, Joel and Ellie are knocked out and separated by the Fireflies. When Joel wakes up, Marlene is there to thank him for escorting her. But there’s a dark twist to this reunion because this franchise hates joy. Marlene reveals that they can probably create a cure using Ellie’s immunity, but in order to do so, they will need to kill her. She doesn’t tell Joel to give him a say in the matter, by the way. She’s just letting him know. Big mistake. By the time Joel hears what’s required to make a vaccine, Ellie is already in surgery.

Joel plays along until he’s free from Marlene. Then he immediately goes on a rampage. In the game, this is portrayed as a series of encounters that serve as the final boss fight. But in the series, the sound is muffled as Joel shoots Firefly after Firefly, a choice that echoes how disconnected he is from his actions. After single-handedly mowing down most of this revolutionary group, Joel finally makes his way to the surgery room. The surgeon tries to stop him, but Joel shoots him in the head.

Joel then picks up Ellie and takes her back to Jackson. When she wakes up in the back of the truck, he tells her a lie that will come to define both their relationship and this franchise for the rest of time: the Fireflies couldn’t use her to make a vaccine, and there are actually a lot of immune people. Ellie asks several follow up questions, but Joel sticks with his story. He didn’t shoot everyone and save her, thereby sacrificing humanity’s one hope for a cure. Nope. According to Joel, the Fireflies were going to let them go before the camp was attacked by raiders.

Does Marlene Die in The Last of Us?

Marlene is the last person to confront Joel before he leaves with Ellie. He shoots her to get her out of his way. But then he turns around and finishes the job, saying that Marlene would just follow them if he left her alive.

Later in the car, Ellie asks Joel if Marlene survived. He refuses to answer and instead tells her, “I’m taking us home.”

Does Marlene Die in The Last of Us Game?

Yeah, this marks Marlene’s second death. “Look for the Light” follows the game’s ending nearly down to the letter.

Did Ellie Kill Riley? How Storm Reid’s Character Died:

The final moments of Episode 9 follow Joel and Ellie as they make their way to Jackson. Their roles are now reversed from the last time they were here. Ellie is the somber one, wrapped up in her thoughts about Pastor David and what happened in Salt Lake City, and Joel’s the one who can’t stop talking. He tells Ellie about Sarah (Nico Parker), the daughter he once told her never to mention. The more he describes her, the more certain he becomes that the two of them would have been friends.

When they’re on the outskirts of Jackson, Ellie stops him. Earlier this episode, Joel tried to use radical honesty about his suicide attempt to convince Ellie to do what he wanted. Now it’s Ellie’s turn to try the same approach.

“Back in Kansas City, you asked me about the first time I killed someone,” Ellie says. “When I got bit in the mall, I wasn’t on my own. My best friend was there. And she got bit too. We didn’t know what to do and she said we can just wait it out. Be all poetic and just lose our minds together. And then she did. And I had to…” So yes, Ellie officially had to kill Riley (Storm Reid) after she was infected.

Why Does Joel Lie to Ellie in The Last of Us?

After remembering Riley, Ellie then lists the other deaths in her life: Tess (Anna Torv). Sam (Keivonn Montreal Woodard). Henry (Lamar Johnson). Joel tries to convince her that none of these were her fault, but Ellie cuts him off.

“Swear to me. Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true,” Ellie demands.

Joel makes eye contact with her and swears.

The Last of Us ends with a close up of Ellie. As she locks eyes with Joel, tears well in her eyes. She then nods and says one word: “OK.” Cut to credits and Gustavo Santaolalla’s gorgeous score.

There are a million reasons why Joel lied to Ellie about saving her from the Fireflies. He doesn’t want her to carry the weight of all the people he killed to save her or, for that matter, the weight of humanity. Selfishly, he doesn’t want to lose the only person who’s made his life worthwhile in decades. Also, he doesn’t want Ellie to see him as a monster. After all, he killed a LOT of people at the end. No matter how you cut it, it’s hard to defend that much bloodshed.

But in the end, there’s really only one reason why Joel murdered dozens of people then lied about it: he’s Ellie’s dad. He wasn’t going to let anything bad happen to her if he could help it. The Last of Us has always been a story about the power and horror of love. In Season 1’s final moments, it’s Joel’s undying love for Ellie that dooms humanity to this apocalyptic hellscape. Keep that in mind next time you say, “I love you.”