Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Bastions’ on Crunchyroll, An Animated Series For Kids Soundtracked By Global Icons BTS

On the surface, the Korean series Bastions seems like it might be a new fan-favorite for anyone who loves Korean animation and music. We’ll have to see how it performs, as Crunchyroll adds the five-part animated superhero show to its library. Featuring music from BTS, K-pop groups Le Sserafim and singers Heize and AleXa, Bastions follows a group of rookie superheroes in a world where heroes must do everything they can to vie for popularity. After getting caught up in an evil plot led by a villain looking to pollute the planet beyond repair, the fledgling heroes emerge as full-blown protectors of the Earth. Unfortunately, decent K-pop tunes are about all this show has going for it. So, as far as that popularity factor goes? It probably isn’t going to blow anyone’s minds, because this thing is, well, a huge dud.

BASTIONS: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

Opening Shot: The camera focuses on a statue of what appears to be an angel as it pulls out and shows a hustling, bustling city. A billboard advertises a product called “Wash Green” before we see a runaway truck revealed to be carrying goods for that company.

The Gist: Superheroes Miki and Michi are massively popular around their city. They remain at the top of popularity lists due to their perceived bubbly and friendly personalities, and people trust them to save the day.

One day, they’re involved in an accident with a runway truck from brand Wash Green. When the pair seemingly save the day, a member of a new superhero group called Bastions shows up. His name is JJ and he’s an obvious fan, but far from on top of his game. In his excitement, he pushes the truck Miki and Michi are standing on and lets it leak out poisonous liquid onto the ground. His hero friends Digger and Almon come to the rescue and use a large poster of Miki and Michi to wrap around the truck, stopping the leaks. Instead of worrying about the chemicals, they’re more upset that their banner featuring their faces is ruined.

On a weekly superhero rankings list, the Bastions have apparently topped the charts as if they were a top 40 hit in terms of overall popularity, usurping Miki and Michi’s spot. Meanwhile, the corporation they work with, Wash Green, threatens to cancel their contract and offer them less work. They also offer “MiMi” a different, sinister-sounding opportunity.

The Bastions team are rehearsing choreography for a song when they’re asked to go out on a delivery to the same building for Wash Green as part of their part time job. When member JJ, the fan from earlier, happens upon Miki and Michi squabbling, he feels disillusioned about who they really are since they put on a brave and outgoing face for the camera. As it turns out, they’re claiming there’s a bomb in the building, A-Palace, and calmly go about searching for it.

You can probably guess what happens from there – Miki and Michi foul things up trying to get ahead of the team perceived as the “real” heroes, and everyone learns a valuable life lesson. Or something like that – it’s all very silly.

What Shows Will It Remind You Of? The most obvious comparison you can make with Bastions is Miraculous. From the animation style to the kid-friendly content, it seems Bastions was meant to appeal to a younger audience, the very same who tune in to see its insect-based hero save the day over and over again. And while that could be a good thing, here it’s more of a disappointment as the storyline never gets mature enough to really resonate with general viewers.

Our Take: This show is one of the most generic things I’ve watched in quite a while. I can’t imagine why BTS would have signed off on adding their music, unless they were really gung-ho about helping kids learn lessons by way of a vague, awful superhero series that doesn’t give you much to go on about the city it’s set in, the heroes it follows, or anything at all for that matter.

There’s little reason to get invested in anything Bastions do, because the show doesn’t give you enough information about them to care. There’s not even an explanation as to what their powers do, why they’re called this, or why we should want to follow them over any other heroes in the city. Are there more than two groups of heroes, even? Who knows? Likewise, the schtick between Miki and Michi, who seem like the perfect heroes but hate each other behind the scenes, gets old quickly.

This rote, paint-by-numbers superhero show has obvious villains in other hero groups vying for popularity. It feels much more like an opportunity for kids to learn lessons about how to treat people and how to be a good person, but it’s not particularly interesting or engaging while doing so.

And sometimes, the simplistic storyline is really the least of Bastions’ worries. The animation is absolutely horrendous. Being brutally honest, kids’ YouTube channel CoCoMelon has smoother and more nuanced 3D models. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with the designs, anyone who isn’t part of the Bastions’ team looks like an NPC torn from a PlayStation 2 budget game. Their lifeless eyes, less-than-detailed looks, and strange behaviors make the show a harder watch than it has to be, as it screams “cut-rate kids’ animation” about as loud as it possibly can.

In the end, it seems obvious that this is a low-effort cash grab meant for use as a vehicle to promote a new BTS song while masquerading as an exciting new 3D series. BTS should have just filmed a video that featured a fun, similar story, and called it a day. As they love to say on Twitter, this ain’t it, chief.

Sex and Skin: Absolutely nothing, this show is squeaky clean.

Parting Shot: ​​The Bastions are assigned another delivery order at their part-time job. As they set out, walking to their destination in the distance, they’re watched by a figure in black, tapping their foot as the boys head out to deliver their meal orders. We then see the screen zoom back out to what appears to be a woman in a car watching them from behind the wheel.

Sleeper Star: Out of all the characters, the easily detestable Michi was the most interesting by far, and that isn’t really saying much. She sounded appropriately bratty and self-important, two traits she exhibited throughout the show.

Most Pilot-y Line: A crowd gathers around the Bastions, clearly excited by what they saw going down in front of them. “We’ve never seen those heroes before,” they admit. This gives the group a chance to introduce themselves: “That’s right! We are the Bastions!” they say, before a weekly popularity ranking between heroes is shown. It’s clear that their newness and popularity are connected, and there’s something about this town we need to know before the rest of the series continues.

Our Call: SKIP IT. Bastions is a decent enough diversion for kids, but then, it just won’t be interesting enough to hold even their attention, let alone adults who love animation. Tired tropes, stiff animation, and low-quality character designs (and personalities) make these 15-minute episodes feel far more drawn out than they should be. BTS and K-pop music aside, Bastions is a slog of a superhero show that feels like a budget 2000s video game instead of a vehicle for global K-pop superstars to showcase their music, er, a new animated series for fans across the world to watch. Watch Miraculous and blast BTS music instead.

Brittany Vincent has been covering video games and tech for over a decade for publications like G4, Popular Science, Playboy, Variety, IGN, GamesRadar, Polygon, Kotaku, Maxim, GameSpot, and more. When she’s not writing or gaming, she’s collecting retro consoles and tech. Follow her on Twitter: @MolotovCupcake.