RuPaul Brings ‘Drag Race All Stars’ to a Screeching Halt to Tell Queens to Stop Crying and Quitting

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 8 has been a wild ride so far — and not just because we’ve gotten to enjoy the antics of Jessica Wild all season long. In addition to casting a season of underdogs with plenty to prove and dangling not one but two cash prizes in front of the girls, we’ve seen this competition truly break some of the queens down. Case in point: Heidi N Closet. She ultimately decided that she had had it, officially, and packed up and left after 5 episodes Now after a hella tense first act in this week’s episode, it looks like one — or more — queens could go the way of Heidi. In fact, things get so tense that RuPaul does something she’s never done before. SPOILERS ahead.

It all starts with that classic Drag Race fight: who’s gonna get which role in this Maxi Challenge? When tasked with picking roles for a true crime-themed improv challenge, Kandy Muse and Alexis Michelle end up clashing over who gets to play the detective. Alexis isn’t even mad that Kandy wants the same role. It seems like Alexis is more mad at Kandy for not having a backup and just assuming that she’s going to get the role she wants. All the other girls had a backup, so why doesn’t Kandy? Alexis ultimately decides to take the DA role — and then our girl has a bit of a breakdown.

This just annoys Kandy further, saying she “cannot with the dramatics” and wonders “Who died?” She calls this perceived maneuver “emotional blackmail” while Jimbo comforts Alexis. Alexis, for her part, says that she’s an “emotional” and “sensitive” person and wonders if this competition is really right for her. But after getting some air, Alexis is ready to play the game.

And then it’s Kahanna Montrese’s turn to panic.

It’s not like Kahanna should be calm right now. This is the fourth acting challenge they’ve had in seven episodes, and Kahanna’s struggled in all of them. Kahanna sees the writing on the wall. She doesn’t want to have another bad week in this challenge and wants to “remove myself before I get hurt.”

I just gotta point out LaLa Ri’s face above, though. If that’s not a meme, I don’t know what is. Have at it, Twitter.

This is, as Jessica Wild puts it, a five-alarm “shemergency” and there’s only one person who can put out this fire: Mama Ru. This is when RuPaul does something that she has never done before: she gets the girls together. Quote: “Mama is here to straighten shit out.”

You know this is a big deal because all of the queens are gagged. LaLa Ri jokes in her confessional that “they got Mama Ru on her break up in here, baby.”

RuPaul’s speech to the girls is so :fireemoji: that it must be presented here in full.

“We gonna have to talk, ladies. I just wanna set you straight before you make any mistakes that you can’t undo. You’re having all these feelings. Of course you’re going to have all these feelings. You’re under a lot of pressure, but feelings are not facts. You have emotions going, ‘Oh yeah, I’m feeling some kind of way. But I’m gonna do this thing because I’m a professional. I’m a professional.’ Don’t let your feelings sabotage your experience in this life. Do not. This is the greatest stage in the world for you to present your act on. Do not allow the little things to derail your bigger picture. Ooh, oh she’s gonna preach this evening. Let the church say amen… You know how many bitches can’t get a job? You know how many bitches work for years in this business, in this game, never had recognition? Don’t walk away from it.”

RuPaul Andre Charles

RuPaul then points to Kahanna, who just five minutes ago was packing her bags, and asks if they need to call the van for her. Kahanna says no, that she’s gonna stay in the competition for RuPaul — and then immediately corrects herself, saying she’s going to stay in the competition for herself. It’s… legitimately inspiring.

Then Ru turns to Alexis, who she calls an “emotional child” and points out, “You’ve been crying this whole competition. If anyone else knows how true this is, it’s Jessica Wild.

JESSICAAAAA 💀💀💀💀 pic.twitter.com/s8X9oy3D22

— ray ✨ (@mascarayde) June 14, 2023

This talk works and all the queens are now back on track. They even turn out a solid improv challenge, one where they all come off looking good — even Kahanna! Kahanna gets advice from Jimbo (who would’ve predicted that Jimbo, Miss Tits McGee, would be the voice of reason this season?) and you can see her applying it during the challenge. It’s wonderful to see!

Of course, who knows what’s going to happen next week. We’re even closer to the finale, so emotions are going to run even hotter — and you know RuPaul isn’t going to skip another break just to get these girls together again.

New episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 8 premiere on Fridays on Paramount+.