‘Vanderpump Rules’ Star Tom Sandoval Reveals He Contemplated Suicide Post-Scandoval: “There Were Some Times Where I Felt Very Close”

Tom Sandoval struggled with his mental health amid the fallout of Scandoval. On the Vanderpump Rules star’s new podcast, Everybody Loves Tom, he said that he contemplated suicide after the fallout from his affair with Rachel “Raquel” Leviss.

On Thursday’s (Sept. 28) premiere episode of the podcast, Sandoval — who was in a nine-year-long relationship with Ariana Madix at the time of his affair — opened up about just how dark things had gotten for him post-Scandoval. While chatting with his friend Kyle Chan, he recalled running into Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington shortly before he died of suicide in 2017.

“I’ll never forget this. I went to The Grove and I was a huge Linkin Park fan, and I saw Chester at The Grove coming out of the garage,” Sandoval said. “He seemed happy or, I don’t know, he just was animated, energetic on the phone. I saw him. I was like, ‘Oh my  God, it’s Chester.’ Literally, days later, he died. He had, you know, killed himself.”

According to Sandoval, he “could never understand why” Bennington, who appeared happy during their run-in, decided to take his own life — until he faced the backlash for his months-long secret with Leviss.

“When you get into that headspace, it’s like a domino effect,” he said. “Your world starts collapsing on itself and you cannot see outside of your feelings. Your peripheral goes away. Your sense of like, thinking about the future, like your ability to snap out of it goes away. And there were some times where I was, you know, felt very, very close.”

Sandoval revealed that he hasn’t spoken to Leviss, who spent months in a mental health facility after getting torn apart at the Season 10 reunion, since the end of June. However, he noted that he’s learned a lot since the news broke six months ago.

“It has been such a learning experience, you know, with going through everything and with what I did and taking time to actually see the repercussions of my actions,” the reality star said. “And, you know, when you’re in a scenario like that and you’re so emotionally wrapped up in your feelings, you don’t think logically and you’re just fucking selfish.”

If you or someone you know are experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 988.