Kelly Clarkson Reveals She Was “Incredibly Sad Deep Inside” During Early Seasons Of ‘The Kelly Clarkson Show’: “I Just Was Never Fully Present”

Kelly Clarkson knew she needed to breakaway from Los Angeles following her tumultuous divorce — and now that The Kelly Clarkson Show has officially made its move to New York City, the singer revealed that it will be the first season where she’s “not incredibly sad deep inside.”

While the show has won 13 Emmy Awards since its 2019 premiere and has quickly become a fan favorite, Clarkson confessed to feeling “really unhappy” during its first few years.

“It’s interesting: I did a really good job of smiling and showing up for work and compartmentalizing my personal life for a few years,” she told Daily Beast’s Obsessed. “Because I was really unhappy. It was really hard. I just was never fully present.”

She continued, “If I’m being completely honest, I don’t know that I was ever really fully present even from Season 1, because the struggle happens, obviously, before you end up getting divorced. There’s stuff happening before you make that announcement.”

According to the “Since U Been Gone” songstress, she “needed a fresh start” after her relationship with Brandon Blackstock ended. The two, who share two children, got married in 2013 before Clarkson filed for divorce in 2020. After a messy battle, they reached a settlement in March 2022.

This, however, is hardly the first obstacle the hit daytime talk show has run into during its four-year run.

“When we started we ran into the impeachment trial that was preempting us, and then we went into a global pandemic and became a COVID production,” executive producer and showrunner Alex Duda said. “And then Kelly went through a divorce. And then there was the writer’s strike. We just keep pivoting.”

Now that the show is filmed from 30 Rock in New York, which is also home to The Today Show, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and Saturday Night Live, Clarkson is ready to put on her happy face once again — but this time, she won’t be faking it.

“This will be the first season I’m fully present and not incredibly sad deep inside,” she said. “That’s going to be new for me: showing up and actually meaning it when I smile.”

The Kelly Clarkson Show airs on weekdays. Check the website for local listings.