‘Real Housewives Of Potomac’ Star Candiace Dillard Bassett Says There’s A Path Forward For The Cast: “People Need To Take Accountability”

Now in her fifth season on The Real Housewives Of Potomac, Candiace Dillard Bassett has come fully into her own. Happily married to Chris Bassett with a thriving music/acting career, Dillard Bassett candidly shared her IVF journey and desire to have children of her own someday, in addition to being a stepmother to best “bonus children” in the world. Dillard Bassett has no issues about opening up about her personal life. She reflected: “That’s probably part of my issue on Twitter. I think I’m just naturally someone who likes to share my life, even if sharing something is painful. If someone was positively affected by my story, it makes all the angst worth it to me.”

Not only is Candiace the queen of the one-liners and the best reads in the Bravo universe (“Not today, Satan. Not today, Neck. Not today, ankles. We don’t have it.”), but she can also be the kindest person in the room when it suits her. For instance, despite new cast member Nneka Ihim’s issues with Dillard Bassett’s bestie Dr. Wendy Osefo, Dillard Bassett graciously met with her . “Anytime somebody new comes into our group, my inclination is always to welcome to them and try to make them feel comfortable,” explained Dillard Bassett. “I remember how hard it was to stake my own real estate on the show and be taken seriously.”

Perhaps the most difficult part of the season for Dillard Bassett and her supporters to watch is the breakdown of her friendship with Robyn Dixon. There were numerous issues, including the fact that Dillard Bassett (and much of the rest of the world) felt like Dixon knew more about Gizelle Bryant‘s campaign against Dillard Bassett’s husband, Chris, than she let on. “I was not ready to throw away our friendship immediately,” said Dillard Bassett. However, she added: “It’s hard to be friends with someone who’s friends with your enemy. You’re always going to be looking over your shoulder.”

Decider got a chance to speak to Dillard Bassett in the Page Six studio to talk about online allegations that she is being “iced” out of the show, what it takes to be a Real Housewife, and owning the title of being “a disaster on Twitter.”

DECIDER: Candiace, you have not had the easiest season thus far. Is it validating that the Sour Candys are taking up for you?

CANDIACE DILLARD BASSETT: They are so sour. Their mouths are perpetually just drawn up because they are just so mad about it [laughs]. I was just talking about this earlier today. The Bravo space is so beautiful. It is such a blessing to have grown up on Bravo. Bravo fans, you saw me get married. You’ve seen me go through growing pains with my mom. You’ve seen me buy my first home and start my music career. You’ve seen so much of my life.

You’ve shared so much with audiences.

Sometimes, I am so frustrated by it all. It is validating and it does feels so good when audience members—the people that really make us—see what’s really going on. The camera does not lie, my darling. The camera sees through all the mayhem, the foolishness, and the reindeer games. So thank you to the fans for seeing what’s real. It really means a lot. It makes me not want to go lie under my bed for a week.

It really breaks my heart that you feel this way because you’ve shared so much with the fans, not to mention the women in the group. I know you’ve got a lot of supporters out there, like reality TV legend Carlos King, who believe you’re being iced out of the show. Have you had any conversations with the powers that be about the online chatter?

Well, I haven’t had that particular conversation with anyone yet. I will also say that it did not appear that way necessarily when we were filming the show. However, we experience the show three times: when we film it, when it airs, and at the reunion. We’re currently in that second iteration of experience. That’s when you sit back and go, hmmm. Then, you have experts, like Carlos King and Bravo fans, analyzing the footage and weighing in with their takes. That’s when you start questioning yourself.

I’m happy to say I’m in constant communication with our executives. They have been so supportive of me and my music. They listen when I call them crying about whatever and are happy when I just check in. There will be conversations. I was just with Andy Cohen at Watch What Happens Live and I was like, “we need to talk.” I do feel supported by the network, but it’s yet to be seen what is actually happening, what will actually happen.

Speaking of Andy Cohen, he famously called you a “disaster on Twitter”…

I should have a plaque. Andy, can I have a plaque that says that, please?

Well, I disagree. Yes, you check the other women when they need to be put in their place, but you are also one of the funniest people on that platform. How do you balance the truth telling and the fun stuff?

I think that time–and maybe getting a few too many calls from the network about my tweets–has helped me to balance it out. Also, I have a husband who is quick to say, nope, don’t tweet that or maybe rephrase that, delete that, or just send it to him [laughs]. My husband keeps me honest.

Twitter and I, we kind of grew up together. I remember when Twitter first started and was being beta tested. I was one of those beta testers of the platform, and it is always been a part of my growing up a millennial. It has always been a space that allows me to put my feelings down. What I telling the network that if I have a talk show, I won’t be on Twitter all the time. I need a space where I can comment on the issues of the day and the drama of Vanderpump Rules. Give me that and I won’t be a Twitter disaster. Let’s work on that, NBC Universal and Andy. Thank you.

Dr. Wendy started her own YouTube show… is that something you would ever consider?

I’ve always seen myself as part of an ensemble like The View or The Real. I so would have loved to have been a part of The Real. It was one of the first super diverse daytime talk shows featuring women who really ran the gamut. If that is ever revived, please call me! But yeah, being on a talk show has always been something that I’ve seen myself doing.

To be on a show like The Real or Real Housewives, you have to be strong and opinionated, but also vulnerable. From your recent health scare to your IVF treatments to past traumas you’ve experienced, you’ve really been open this season. Is it hard to put so much of yourself out there?

It’s not hard for me. That’s probably part of my issue on Twitter. I think I’m just naturally someone who likes to share my life. To be successful on a show like Real Housewives, you have to be willing to share who you are. For me, I want to be relatable to be , someone who can liberate others with my stories, whether they’re positive or negative or somewhere in between. Even if sharing something is painful, if someone was positively affected by my story, it makes all the angst worth it to me. If someone was inspired to talk to their mom about their issues or explore an IVF journey if they’re having fertility issues, that makes my sharing worthwhile. It’s reassuring when people can relate to what you’re doing.

You allude to Mama Dot, who has always been a fan favorite. You had to listen to your cast mates’ commentary on your mother, and now your good friend, Dr. Wendy Osefo, is having to deal with Nneka making accusations about her mother. Did you give her any advice?

Oh, Wendy and I talk a lot about what’s happening this season. You cannot control these mamas, and I do feel like it was unfair of Nneka to hold Wendy to the fire for her mother’s alleged actions. You’ve seen Mama Dot on the show, okay? I can’t control her. She’s going to say what she wants. She’s going to do what she wants in her own time. All I can do is sit back and clutch my pearls and pray that I don’t lose my composure in the process.

Like my mom, Miss Susan is protective of her daughter. Her daughter is her pride and joy. Of course, if she feels like an adversary is coming for her child, she’s going to step in without consulting her child. She’s going to do what a mother does and be a mama bear. I can’t blame her for moving the way she moved. I told Wendy to let it ride. She’s going to be Mama Susan and Wendy’s going to be Wendy.

I did appreciate your meeting with Nneka to try and get to know her outside of the whole Dr. Wendy situation.

I came into Potomac in Season 3. It was an already established show with established relationships. I remember how hard it was to stake my own real estate on the show and plant roots and be taken seriously as a housewife and a friend in the group. Anytime somebody new comes into our group, my inclination is always going to welcome to them and try to make them feel comfortable. They’re not just coming into any friend group; they’re coming into a friend group on a television show that is really successful.

It’s a lot of pressure. I wanted Nneka to feel supported in the way that I was supported by Karen. I have to do that to be true to myself, and if I did not move that way, it wouldn’t feel genuine. Nneka and I are good. I will hold her accountable, and I will let her know when she’s doing something that I don’t like or that I think is wrong. I’m going to move carefully. What is the saying? Walk softly and carry a big stick. So that’s’ how I roll with all these girls.

It’s been fun watching you get closer with Dr. Wendy, but it’s sad watching what feels like the ending of yours and Robyn’s friendship. Is it hard to mourn that relationship again as you watch the season back?

Yes, I do feel like I’m still in mourning, especially with these recent episodes. It’s still confusing to me. It’s strange that she has this very strong reaction to things that I’ve said when, before my time on the show, some of these other girls had committed way worse indiscretions, like attacking her marriage and her own life. It makes me wonder: what is the motive? Who are you and what are you really trying to do here?

It does hurt. By the end of the season, I’m a bit numb and ready to just scream it out. What you’re witnessing as we’re watching the season is my very slowly coming to terms with what’s happening. I was not ready to throw away my friendship with Robyn immediately like I have done with some of the other girls that I had no strong connection with. Robyn was like a sister to me, this is a weird space to be in with her. The reunion is going to be interesting. I don’t know what else has been said because I haven’t seen the whole season, but I’m taking notes.

Going into the reunion, could you and Robyn possibly repair your friendship?

I don’t even know that I can reference a door or structure there. There are no buildings to reference. I truly do not know.

How did you feel after your conversation with her in tonight’s episode?

We talked for what felt like hours. There is more to her saying that she’s mad than first appears. I’m interested to get to the reunion to hold her accountable. However, let me address what she’s saying now. I’m never going to negate my feelings. I suspected that she may have had a part in or knew something about what her friends were doing to me. It’s hard to be friends with someone who is friends with your enemies. You’re always going to be looking over your shoulder.

Given all the stuff that went down between Gizelle and my husband, I think it was unfair of her to not allow me the space to express what I felt. It was lame of her to make my Twitter opinion this big, huge deal when everybody was talking about her paywall stupidity. It was discussed ad nauseum across the nation, including within our cast. How was my very well written–if I may say so myself–tweet the end all, be all? Something else is amiss.

How did you feel after your conversation with her in tonight’s episode?

We talked for what felt like hours. I don’t want to say the wrong thing, but the reason that she’s saying she’s mad, there’s more to it. I’m interested to get to the reunion to hold her accountable. I think we have to remember timelines going forward. However, to address what she’s saying now… I’m never going to negate my feelings. I felt how I felt. I felt like she may have had a part in or known something of what her friends were doing. It’s hard to be friends with someone who’s friends with your enemy. You’re always going to be looking over your shoulder.

Given all the stuff that went down between Gizelle and my husband, I think it was unfair of her to not allow me the space to express that I felt that way. It was lame of her to make my Twitter opinion this big, huge deal when everybody was talking about your paywall stupidity. It was discussed ad nauseum across the nation, including within our cast. How was my very well written–if I may say so myself–tweet the end all be all? Something else is amiss. It’s giving clown behavior. It’s giving bad Broadway show.

I was going to say…if I see that clip of you calling her a fraud one more time on the show, I’m going to scream.

She’s acting like I booked interviews specifically to malign her and went on a Twitter tirade. I tweeted once and I was doing interviews promoting one of the many projects I was involved with. When I’m doing interviews for Ultimate Girls Trip, of course they’re going to ask me about the clown show on my cast. Anytime you’re doing interviews, you’re asked about your cast. You, Robyn, put our show on the map for being a clown, and of course I’m going to have to address it. So when they asked me to describe her in one word, I said fraud. What she did was fraudulent. That’s how I felt at the time and I’m entitled to my opinion. She’s had many opinions of her own, as has everyone on our cast. It’s just as I said, the line is always moving.

And you’ve never hid behind a paywall.

I’m honoring my commitments to the show that pays me. Thank you for writing my checks because they always clear.

I do want to check in on where you stand with Ashley Darby. At BravoCon, she described your relationship as “70% good.” Where is that percentage now?

CDB: We’re still probably 7030. It hasn’t really moved. Ashley and I are still two of the youngest on the cast. We’ve seen Ashley go through it all. She’s was married, and now she’s getting divorced… allegedly. She became a mom. She’s grown up a lot. I’ve grown up a lot. People always compare us to sort of being the younger versions of Karen and Gizelle, which is fairly accurate. We enjoy sparring. Like I said on Watch What Happens Live, our love language is arguing and she’s a great sparring partner.

I know Karen Huger has been trying to heal the rifts in the group, but at some point, you have to just let people coexist. Nobody coexists better than the ladies of Potomac. Why is that?

A show like this is all about the ensemble. It’s about watching smart and dynamic women and the ebbs and flows they go through in their friendships. We’ve all been through it with one another. Most of us, not all, but most of us are, are able to move forward with each other. We’ve all said things that are hurtful and had to atone for those things. As long as you resolved the issue and apologize or whatever, you can be grown and get on with your life. So let’s go bungee jumping. Let’s go to Paris and have baguettes. You have to be willing to put differences aside so that the experience can happen.

Despite some of the negative comments I’ve seen online about the current season, I truly believe RHOP has the secret sauce and you are a vital ingredient of it. So how do we move forward? How do we bounce back from everything that’s happened?

I spend nights thinking about how our group gets back up from this. It’s like we are under an underpass, under a blanket, shivering and destitute. People need to take accountability. I need to feel like they are really sorry for things that were said and done that were truly damaging to me and my family. They have to acknowledge that the things that were said were hurtful. That’s true for myself and Robyn, but also for Nneka and Wendy.

Right now, some of us feel like they are existing in an alternative reality. They need to exit that space and just be real and honest. If honesty can float to the top, we can move forward with this group. If that happens, I’m ready to go down the yellow brick road and go to Oz and have a good time. This is great group of women. It’s amazing that this cast has four original housewives. We’re eight seasons in and you’ve got four originals. That’s a huge feat. I can acknowledge and recognize that that’s a beautiful thing. If we can get our heads out of our you know what, we can press forward.